


Hopelessly in Love

by Tania885



Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Best Friends, Canon-Typical Violence, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Infidelity, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Love Triangles, Making Love, Mutual Pining, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has Issues, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:41:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 76,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27430684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tania885/pseuds/Tania885
Summary: Clint Barton is your best friend. You met him your first day at SHIELD after you were recruited. He took a special interest in you and trained you. You've been partners ever since.He's your best friend but you're also head over heels in love with the man. You knew he had feelings for you, he almost kissed you a few times. When you confronted him on it he dropped a bombshell, he's a married man.That bomb shattered your heart, but you valued your friendship and partnership and moved past it. Sort of.When you join the Avengers together your pining starts to take a toll on you. So you try moving on with the handsome Captain, Steve Rogers. While also helping him search for Bucky. Things get complicated after that.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Clint Barton/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 36
Kudos: 103





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My last fic disappointed some people when the reader didn't end up with who they wanted. I've seen other fics written with alternate endings so I'm going to give it a try. You'll have your choice of ending depending on which love interest you wanted to end up with.
> 
> **UPDATE - I had a request to add an alternate ending for Bucky. If you are reading this fic just for Bucky I'll warn you now he doesn't come in till towards the later chapters.**

CHAPTER 1

Prologue

Clint Barton was your best friend and your partner. And you were hopelessly head over heels in love with the man. You met Clint your first day at Shield after you were recruited. He was in charge of a weapons training course. He was showing off with his bow and arrow, shooting the targets dead center everytime. He never misses. When it was your turn you shot your arrow straight through one of his splitting it in half right down the middle. That’s how you caught his attention. After you were finished with your training courses for the day he cornered you in the cafeteria and you ended up talking for hours. He’s extremely smart, funny, sarcastic, and so incredibly handsome. 

The next day he went to Director Fury and asked to train you personally. He saw you had talent and didn’t want you, and I quote “tainted by incompitent ass hats.” Clint normally worked alone, didn’t do well with partners. But he saw you were different and you’ve been his partner ever since. 

The two of you spent a lot of time together, and became very close practically inseparable. You kept having these moments where he would almost kiss you. But he would chicken out at the last second everytime. Finally being fed up with all of the almost kissed moments you flat out asked him why he wouldn’t just kiss you already. It was obvious both of you were attracted to each other and felt something for each other. 

That’s when he dropped the biggest, most unexpected bomb on you. Clint Barton is a married man. You’re heart shattered the day he told you that. He felt like your other half, like you were meant to find each other. You know he felt it too. But he found someone else before you. He asked you to keep it a secret. The only other person that knew was Director Fury. Clint was paranoid and wanted anything personal kept out of Shield’s files.

Clint must have seen the hurt in your eyes when he told you. He apologized and told you that you were right about everything, about feeling something for each other. He asked if you wanted a new partner and your already shattered heart almost disintegrated. You still wanted your friendship and partnership. You could move past the other stuff…..eventually…..hopefully.

So you stayed partners and best friends. Nothing changed, you are a little ashamed to say even the flirting didn’t change. But you’re not a homewrecker, nothing happened beyond some flirting. Eventually he introduced you to his wife Laura. They had their second child on the way when you first met her. Over time the kids called you Auntie (Y/N), but you got the feeling Laura didn’t like you. Maybe she could tell you were pining over her husband, so you can’t really hold that against her.

You were with Clint when he was sent to kill a young and beautiful KGB agent, Natasha Romanoff. The two of you made a different choice and ended up recruiting her instead. She doesn’t trust many people, but she friended you and Clint surprisingly easily. She actually thought you and Clint were a couple for the longest time. You saw the surprise on her face when Clint told her about Laura and the kids. He eventually introduced Natasha to his family. The kids call her Auntie Nat, and Laura actually seemed to like Nat. Which made you feel worse about yourself for having feelings for a married man. Even if you never acted on it. Although admittedly you two are probably closer than what most would deem appropriate.

After Nat met Clint’s family she cornered you. Just one lift of her eyebrow and she had you confessing everything. At first she thought you were having an affair, but you quickly cleared that up. After your confession she tried to help you by keeping Clint in line, she could tell his little flirtations were doing more harm than good to your own mental well being. 

You were with Clint on assignment to watchover Dr. Selvig as he tested and experimented on the Tesseract. Some weird powerful cube that was found by Howard Stark when they were searching for Captain America 70 some years ago. You were also with Clint when Loki appeared. Both of you took shots at him to try and stop him, but failed miserably. Loki said you both had heart and used his scepter to take control of your minds. 

Both of you were forced to do things you would have never done. Natasha was brought in by Director Fury and Agent Phil Coulson to bring the two of you back in. You made her job much easier by coming to her. Loki made the two of you attack Shield’s Helicarrier. She beat the shit out of both of you knocking you unconscious and called it “cognitive recalibration” when you asked her how she broke Loki’s hold on you.

You and Clint fought side by side with the Avengers when the Chitauri attacked New York under Loki’s command. In the aftermath of that attack Director Fury wanted to keep the Avengers banded together for emergencies. He asked Clint to join. Clint said he would only join if you and Natasha were brought in with him. Fury easily agreed to his terms. Tony Stark turned Stark Tower into the Avengers Tower. 

For once you weren’t with Clint, he took some time off to be with his family. But only you and Natasha knew that. You were with Captain Steve Rogers and Natasha when Shield fell and found out Hydra had been infiltrating Shield the entire time. Clint’s paranoia turned out to be warranted after all and you were thankful Director Fury kept his family off the books. Tony was in California. Thor went back to Asgard, and you weren’t sure where Bruce was. So it was the three of you against Hydra.

You and Steve weren't exactly close. You were like work friends, except he was technically your boss. But you admired and respected him. He always treated you with respect and he trusted you more than he trusted Natasha.

You were with Steve when he found out his best friend Sergeant James Barnes was not dead and was in fact captured and experimented on by Hydra. He was the assassin known as the Winter Soldier. That’s also around the time you met Sam Wilson who would eventually join the Avengers. You were with Steve and Sam trying to disable the three Helicarriers Hydra weaponized to kill millions of people. You watched in horror as the Winter Soldier shot Steve. Steve shoved you off the Helicarrier into the water below to save you from the same fate.

You swam to shore and saw when Steve’s unconscious body fell from the sky. The Winter Soldier was hanging from the Helicarrier watching him fall, until he suddenly dropped into the water after him. You watched in confusion as the soldier pulled Steve out of the water and threw him on to the shore. Thankfully Natasha had taught you some Russian. The Winter Soldier was giving you a cold stare with his piercing blue eyes the entire time you watched him drag Steve from the water and he towered over you when he dropped Steve onto the ground. 

“Soldat, ya sdelayu vid, chto ne videl tebya. Tol'ko, pozhaluysta, ne obizhay moyego druga”

_(Soldier I will pretend I didn't see you. Just please don't hurt my friend.)_

Without a word he left, walked away from you and Steve. Maria Hill and Sam came to your rescue and got Steve to the hospital. You and Sam stayed with him the entire time. You and Steve became actual friends instead of being work friends or acquaintances after that.

With Shield in ruins all that was left was the Avengers. There were some sectors of Hydra that still got away. And they also stole some dangerous items that were in Shield’s vaults. Like Loki’s scepter for example. The thought of that scepter being in the hands of Hydra gave you nightmares. Because you still had nightmares about what Loki did to you and Clint. So the Avengers reassembled at the Tower and started searching for hidden Hydra bases. 

When Clint came back to work the two of you were partnered together once again, and you were back to your own internal torment of pining over the man you so desperately desire, but can’t have. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The little bit of Russian is from Google translator. Sorry if you speak Russian and it's wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is starting before Ultron and will end somewhere after Civil War. But I'm definitely changing some parts of Civil War. I fucking hate End Game, as far as I'm concerned that movie doesn't exist.
> 
> On another note - The first couple chapters are short just so you can get a feel for the friendship between Clint and the reader.

CHAPTER 2

You’re sitting on top of Clint with his hands pinned above his head. You're both breathing heavily and covered in sweat. 

“Again.” Steve calls out to both of you from across the room. Clint winks at you and you roll your eyes. Steve insists on vigorous training routines. He would make you do it daily but you all wore him down and got him to relent to every other day. Sometimes you have to remind him, not everyone on the team is a super soldier or has a super power.

Today is hand to hand combat training. Which leads to your current position. You knocked Clint on his ass and pinned him to the ground. You lean forward to climb off Clint and he whispers into your ear. “Next time I want to be on top.” He makes your skin break out in goosebumps. Ya you would like that too. You shake your head at yourself and jump back onto your feet. As you roll your shoulders trying to clear your mind you see Natasha glaring at Clint. She always seems to know when he’s saying something he shouldn’t be to you.

Clint and you get back into position. Just before you’re about to start he decides to take his shirt off. Oh you gorgeous asshole, that’s just not fair. You can see the sweat glistening across his tone muscled body and abs. Before you even know what’s happening you're lying on your back with a smirking Clint lying on top of you. He’s not hovering, he's got his body flat against yours with his leg between your thighs and hands pinned above your head. “I told you I wanted to be on top.” 

“You’re such an asshole. Not cool Barton.”

“But I’m your asshole.” He says with a big smug smile. You can’t help but smile at that. Then Steve has to go and break the moment. “That was terrible (Y/N). That’s not going to fly when we’re in the field. Do better. A lot better.”

You start laughing. “Uh oh. He’s using his dad voice. Now I’m in trouble.” That makes Clint start laughing. He releases your wrists but slides his hands down your body as he pulls himself back to his feet. Then he extends his hand to pull you back up, but he pulls you so hard your face smashes into his bare sweaty chest. Oh how you would love to run your tongue across that sweaty chest. 

Steve makes you guys practice for another half hour before he lets you be done for the day. You take off embarrassingly quick and run to your room to take a cold shower. Clint always gets you all hot and bothered after combat training. Which normally would leave you needing to release some tension on your own. Jarvis noticed your excessive purchasing habit for batteries and started adding them to your weekly shopping list. That was horrifying when Steve asked you about it. Tony thought it was hilarious. So you are trying to lay off the vibrator for a while. You’re not sure the cold showers are helping though.

  
  


You wake in the middle of the night covered in sweat, breathing so hard you feel like you’re going to have a panic attack. Nightmares about your time under Loki’s mind control come and go. 

After you change your clothes you decide to go to Clint’s room. He doesn’t always stay in the tower, but it’s nice when he does. He’s the only one that understands the nightmares, he has them too. 

His room is on the other side of yours, and he quickly found a way into your room through the air vents. That way no one can see you come or go. 

You lift yourself up into the air vent and crawl the short distance to his room. His room has a loft which you jokingly call his nest. It's a large mattress on the floor covered in a mess of pillows and blankets. You jump down from the vent and land on the mattress. He cracks his eyes open. “Nightmare?”

“Yes.” You whisper quietly. He lifts his blanket and opens his arms. You crawl over to him and he wraps his arms around you with your face in his chest. At least he has a shirt on this time. His chin is resting on top of your head. “I’m sorry about earlier. I know I got a little carried away. I was worried you were mad at me.” You sigh against his chest. “I’m not mad, but you’re still an asshole.” You can feel his jaw flex and you can tell he’s smiling. “But I’m your asshole.” You smile against his chest.

“Yes you're my asshole.” Minutes later you're both fast asleep, and you don’t have any more nightmares the rest of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short chapter. Like I said, it's just to get a feel for the friendship with Clint.
> 
> Also I know Sam doesn't join the Avengers until the end of Ultron. I decided to add him in sooner.

CHAPTER 3

Clint and you are on a rooftop facing back to back firing arrows at Hydra soldiers on the ground below. Tony and Steve located a Hydra facility in Russia. Steve was hoping to find some sign of Bucky. Steve and Sam have been looking for leads on his whereabouts since Steve got out of the hospital after Shield fell. 

Clint looks over his shoulder at you. "Hey you think we'll be home by dinner?"

You shoot an arrow and check your watch. "Eh, ya probably a late dinner though. What do you want tonight?"

"Pizza. What do you want?"

"Tacos. You always want pizza." He scoffs at you. "Ya well, you always want tacos."

You both stop firing your arrows and turn to look at each other. I unison you both say, "Taco Pizza!". Then high five each other.

" _You guys do know your comms are on right?"_ Natasha says sarcastically. You snort out a laugh. "Yes. Geez we'll share. Anyone else want taco pizza?"

" _Will you two focus! You're supposed to be watching our backs. And tacos don't belong on pizza."_ Steve says in his Captain voice.

You gasp. "How dare you. I don't think we can be friends now Cap. And we are watching your back. Hydra dude coming up on your left…..No your other left."

Thor sounds confused. _“What is this taco pizza you speak off? I am not familiar”_

Sam is snickering through his comm. " _I'm in on the taco pizza guys."_ Clint chuckles. "Fuck ya!"

Steve lets out a heavy sigh. " _Language!"_

You and Clint both burst into laughter. Then Tony and Sam join in much to Steve’s annoyance.

After you take down the Hydra facility and confiscate anything that looks important you load back up into the Quinjet.

You and Clint are sitting in chairs facing each other. Your legs are propped up in his lap. When you and Clint were in Shield he taught you sign language. He has top of the line hearing aids so he rarely has the need to sign anymore. But you two like to do it so you can have conversations without people eavesdropping.

Tony watches in amusement as Steve glares at the two of you signing to each other and laughing. Steve gets Natasha's attention. "Why do they insist on doing that? What are they talking about?"

She smirks at him. "Well they are weird. It's just something they've done since they were partners in Shield. As for what they're talking about, they're arguing over what movie to watch with their taco pizza."

Steve let's out another heavy sigh as he shakes his head, and rolls his eyes at the two of you.

After your much anticipated dinner and a movie you call it a night and head to bed. In the middle of the night you wake with a start. You can see the shape of Clint’s body as he walks across your room. “Nightmare?” You whisper to him. 

“Yep.” Is the only response you get. He pulls back the blankets and climbs into bed with you. He would never admit this to anyone, but nights like this he lets you be the big spoon. Moments later you're both asleep and nightmare free.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff with Steve in this chapter.

CHAPTER 4

You groan at Steve for like the tenth time. “But I’m not the sexy super spy. That’s Nat’s job.” He gives you an annoyed look. “You’ll be fine. And like I’ve already said several times Natasha’s out on another mission.” Clint is standing next to you watching in amusement as you argue with Steve. Tony and Sam are close by listening. He needs you and Clint to go undercover at some fancy party. You hate wearing dresses, and you can’t walk in heels. That crap Natasha always does because you look like a bumbling fool doing it and she looks gorgeous and graceful. 

You huff and stomp your foot probably looking like a petulant child. “Ugh this is bullshit. And fuck you Clint I see you smirking.” That just makes Clint burst into laughter. 

“Language.” Steve grits out. You turn your head back towards him and narrow your eyes. “Fine I’ll fucking do it. But I’m going to say every fucking cuss word I can come up with. I’ll cuss so fucking much I’d make a sailor blush. So language that Cap!” You storm away muttering swear words under your breath. Clint is laughing hysterically. Tony sarcastically puts in his two cents. “Do you want us to make a swear jar Cap? You’ll be fucking rich by the end of the week.”

Standing in your closet, you just glare at your wardrobe. You have a couple dresses, but you don’t know what to put on. Clint suddenly comes dropping out of the air vent. He comes and stands in front of your closet. “Not a peep from you if you just came in here to fuck with me some more.” He puts his hands up like he’s surrendering. “I’ll behave darlin’. I was just seeing if you needed help picking out a dress.”

Your shoulder slump. “Yes. I fucking hate this I’m going to look ridiculous.” He chuckles at you. “You’ll be fine, and you won’t look ridiculous. I’ve seen you in a dress before. We just need to work on you walking in heels. Because you walk like a newborn baby cow.” That should probably offend you, but it's completely true. So instead of being offended you start laughing. He pushes past you into your closet and looks at your dresses. He pulls out a simple long black dress that hugs your curves and has a slit up one side. “This one should work, it’ll show off your ass.”

He goes and sits on your bed. You quirk and eyebrow at him. “Are you hoping for a strip show or something Barton?” He leans back on his hands and gives you a mischievous smile. “Well I wouldn’t turn it down if you’re offering.” You’re about to throw a shoe at him, but there’s a knock on your bedroom door. “Jarvis who is it?”

“It’s Captain Rogers miss.” You roll your eyes. What does he want now? “Clint you better get out of here.” He huffs in annoyance. “Fine I want an I owe you on that strip show.” You just flip him off in response as he climbs back into the air vent. You take a deep breath before you open the door. You know you're in for a lecture or something. Slowly you crack the door open and see Steve standing there with his hands in his pockets. “Yes?”

“Can I please come in? Can we talk?” He’s giving you sad puppy eyes. Damn him. You nod your head and open the door letting him in. Then you go sit on your bed. He stands awkwardly in front of you. Right he’s old fashioned, being in a woman's bedroom is weird for him. “There’s a chair behind you or you can sit here next to me. It’s fine Steve, now what’s up?”

Of course he takes the chair. “Well (Y/N) that’s what I wanted to ask you. You’re feistier than usual. Why does this mission have you so riled up?” You sigh and run your fingers through your hair. “I’m not Natasha.”

That makes him frown. “Okay, but what does that have to do with anything?” Ugh this man is so frustrating and clueless sometimes. “She’s beautiful with a hot body, and can wrap men around her finger without even trying. I’m the exact opposite of that, and I can’t fucking walk in heels or dance.” And you have to pretend to be Clint’s wife, which is killing you because you could never be his wife since he already has one. You don’t say that part out loud.

“I think you're beautiful.” Steve says without missing a beat. “And don’t get me wrong I like Natasha, she’s my friend. But I also like that you’re not Natasha. You always be yourself and don’t pretend to be somebody else.”

You bite your lip and start blushing. That’s not something you were expecting from him, you didn’t think he thought about you like that. You’re not blind either, you know he’s gorgeous and sexy. He’s every girl's wet dream, but your eyes have always been on someone else so you never really gave him a second thought. Steve pulls you back from your thoughts. “Would you like me to teach you how to dance? I know we don’t have a lot of time but we can at least practice a little before we leave.”

You nod your head and give him a small smile. “Sure. Yes I would like that. Thank you Steve.” He checks his watch. “Of course doll. Get dressed and meet me in my room as soon as you're done alright?” 

“Ya okay. Give me like 20 minutes.” Steve leaves and you’re still blushing. He only calls you doll when no one is around. Natasha said he doesn’t say it to her. You like it when he says it though so you’re not complaining.

Just like you said, 20 minutes later you’re ready. Hair and makeup done, the snug black dress does show off your ass. Clint got that right. And you’re showing a decent amount of cleavage. You carry the heels because you’re not quite ready to put those on, and walk down to the end of the hall where Steve’s room is. Thankfully no one is in the hallway.

Steve left his door open for you, but you still knock to be polite. “Come on in doll.” He hasn’t changed into his uniform yet. He’s still wearing jeans and a tight gray t-shirt. He looks up when he hears you enter the room and his eyes go wide. He’s obviously checking you out, you can see his eyes looking up and down your body. He hasn’t said anything so you start to feel a little self conscious. “Told you I look ridiculous.” 

His wide eyes turn into a frown and he shakes his head. “No doll you’re wrong. You look absolutely beautiful just like I said.” He reaches over to where his old record player is and turns some music on. He moved some stuff around so the middle of the room is clear. He walks over to you and takes your hand and walks you to the middle of the room. Then he puts one of your hands on his shoulder, and holds your other hand. Then he puts his free hand around your waist. Now you’re pretty sure you’re blushing again. “Hope you don’t mind my old man music.” He says jokingly as he starts moving with you to the music.

“You’re not an old man. I know according to your birthday you should be, but look at you. I don’t see an old man. And for the record I do like your music.”

That gets a big smile out of him. He leads you around the room dancing with you for a few minutes. He frequently keeps his eyes locked on yours. 

“I think we should try with the heels now doll.” You groan and scrunch your face up. “I’m going to end up stabbing you in the foot with a heel or something.” He chuckles at you. “I’ll survive a heel to the foot. I’ve survived worse things.” 

You groan some more, but go sit on his bed to put your heels on. Not thinking about behaving like a lady you don’t realize the slit on the side of your dress is open and your dress is slightly pushed up from the way you're sitting. So your bright red underwear is on display. When you finish putting your shoes on Steve’s face is bright red. “You okay Steve?”

“Huh? Ya, I’m fine just a little warm. You ready?” You take a couple steps towards him and trip. Thankfully he’s a super soldier with fast reflexes and he catches you. “Thanks for the save. But you see? I’m going to draw attention to us and look like a fool. I can’t walk in these things.”

He ignores your whining and gets you back into position and starts dancing with you again. “How about you try focusing on me. Don’t think so hard about what you're wearing. You’re overthinking it. What’s your favorite color?”

“Well that was random. What does that have to do with…...ooohhhh you’re trying to distract me.” He chuckles and shakes his head at you. “Blue is my favorite color. What’s your’s?”

“Blue also. What’s your favorite food?”

“You should already know that, tacos. But sometimes I switch it up and choose chinese instead. What about you?”

“Spaghetti.” He goes to ask you another question but stops himself a couple times before he decides what to say. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Um...okay, what?” He bites his lip for a moment which the first thought that pops in your mind is how sexy that looks. Then you're surprised that you even had that thought. “You can decline to answer if you don’t like the question. I was just wondering, why don’t you ever date? I’ve never seen you with anyone.”

Now you’re biting your lip. That’s a whole can of worms there, but maybe you can vaguely explain it. “The same reason you don’t.” Now Steve’s frowning again, which makes you roll your eyes. “You have that one person that got away that you can’t seem to get over right?” You’re implying Peggy, which everyone knows about. You can tell when he gets what you’re saying.

He nods his head in understanding. “So there was someone, but you haven’t gotten over that someone?” You shrug your shoulders. “Pretty much.”

“Maybe you just haven’t given anyone else a chance so you could get past that someone. I know I am one hundred percent guilty of that.”

“Ya well, maybe one day. Hey! I haven’t stepped on you or fallen over. Are you going to gloat now?” He stops dancing but keeps his hand on your waist. “I told you, you were overthinking it. And I’ll save the gloating for another day.” You wrap your arms around him and hug him tight. “Thank you Steve. You saved me from a lot of embarrassment. Now let’s just hope Clint can dance as well as you.”

Steve’s face falls a little at the mention of Clint, which you take notice of. You guys were having a good time. “Steve I’d ask you to go instead, but everyone knows that pretty face of yours.” 

“What can I say this face is a blessing and curse. Let me get changed and we’ll head out together.” 

He goes into his bathroom to change into his uniform, but he forgot something and comes back out with no shirt on. Oh dear lord, did it just get hot in here? You tell yourself to look away so you don’t look like a creep but your eyes don’t listen and keep staring. He gives you a shy smile when he looks up and sees you staring, and you quickly turn and face the door. It’s going to be a long night you think to yourself. 

Once Steve’s dressed and ready to go you compose yourself and walk out to the living room together where Clint is waiting with Sam and Tony. Thor and Bruce are with Natasha on a different mission. You manage to make it down the hallway without tripping. Once the guys see you they start whistling. Sam winks at you. “Hot damn look at you girl. How about I trade places with Clint tonight?”

Clint practically puffs his chest out. “I don’t think so. Hands off my hot pretend wife buddy.” _Pretend wife_. You try to ignore those words but they keep echoing in your mind. So you try diverting your focus elsewhere. Clint is looking pretty hot himself. He’s dressed in a black tux. He puts his arm around your waist. “Hey wifey you’re walking in heels like a normal person.”

“Well I have Steve to thank for that. He helped me instead of making fun of me you big jerk.” God if he calls you wifey all night you’re going to go insane. 

Steve breaks up the bickering and makes everyone load up in the Quinjet. Time for your mission with your pretend husband. You can survive pretending for a night, right?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up and reader hits a breaking point.

CHAPTER 5

  
  


Your mission is to surveil a man that Steve and Tony can’t quite figure out if he’s Hydra or not. Everything points to that assumption but there’s no concrete proof. He’s some rich billionaire and he’s having a party at his mansion. He likes having parties and lots of attention so he invites anyone and everyone. He’s basically the potential Hydra version of Tony. You and Clint are supposed to plant bugs all over the mansion while you're attending the party pretending to be a rich married couple who dabbles in dealing illegal weapons. 

The Quinjet was left in a safe hiding place where you had to swap vehicles. You and Clint take off in a new convertible top red mustang. The rest of the team has to hang out in a surveillance van. 

As Clint’s driving he keeps his hand on your thigh. Which happens to be the side of the dress that has the slit. “You really do look beautiful (Y/N).” You smile at him. “Thanks, you're not so bad yourself handsome.”

He clears his throat awkwardly. “So what were you and Steve doing in his room?”

“Oh, he was trying to give me a quick dance lesson and help me walk in these damn heels.” Clint was smiling, but now he’s got his resting bitch face going on. “Why didn’t you ask me to teach you?”

What does it matter, you think to yourself. Then you come to a realization. “Why Clint Barton, are you jealous of Captain America?”

“What?! No! Of course not. I was just wondering.” You roll your eyes. Ya that was really convincing. “Well if you must know while I was whining about this mission I told him I couldn’t dance for shit and he asked if he could teach me. So he offered, I didn’t ask. But he is a very good dancer, nice strong hands too.” The last part you just said to push Clint’s buttons. You hear him mutter under his breath.  _ “I’ll show you strong hands.” _

When you and Clint get to the mansion you both make a beeline to the bar. You both need a couple drinks to take the edge off. The guys in the van can’t see anything but they can hear everything through your comms. Steve hears Clint ordering drinks.  _ “No getting drunk. You have a job to do.” _

Clint scoffs. “Whatever dad.” You just roll your eyes at Clint. After you have your drinks he pulls you onto the dance floor. “Well wifey lets see what the old man taught you.” You choke back a laugh, you know Steve heard that and so does Clint because he’s giving you a shit eating grin. Clint is a lot more handsy and less gentleman-like than Steve that’s for sure. You dance through a couple songs but as you’re moving around the dance floor you’re scoping out the place.

Finally you see your target coming towards the ballroom where the party is being held. You’re interested in the door he just came out of. You point with your eyes and turn so Clint can see the guy and what you’re trying to tell him. The two of you make your way through the ballroom and down the hallway and find the door you saw him coming out of. Clint picks the lock and you both slip inside.

“If this guy is Hydra he seriously needs to up his security.” You say as you look around the room which turned out to be an office. Clint looks for a good place to plant a bug where it won’t be discovered, while you start downloading files off his computer. “Yes my little wifey I’m not so sure either.” You move your eyes away from the computer to his face and scowl at him. “Are you going to call me that the entire night?”

“Well I do believe you are wearing a ring on that finger. That makes you my wifey for the evening now doesn’t it.” If you glare at him any harder you might burn holes through him. You’re tempted to take the fake ring off and throw it at his face. But you don’t get the chance because you hear voices outside the door. “Shit” You mutter under your breath. You quickly pull the thumb drive out of the computer. Clint grabs your hand and pulls you along with him into a small coat closet.

Just as both of you get inside and close the door, the office door opens. There’s a tiny gap in the closet door that you can see through. It’s the rich guy you’re surveilling and some skinny blonde that looks like a supermodel. She starts giggling as she sits on the desk and he stands between her legs and starts kissing her. 

Through the tiny gap there’s a sliver of light shining through. You and Clint are facing each other, and you can see part of his face. You both make faces at each other, you’re going to be stuck in here a while. The high heels you’re wearing are already starting to hurt your feet. Your leg starts to wobble and Clint quickly notices. So he puts one hand on your waist and the other on your leg that was wobbling. He runs his hand up your bare leg all the way up to your thigh and holds your weight up so you don’t fall. 

You wrap your arms around his neck for extra support. With the way you’re standing and the way he’s holding your leg his body is wedged between your legs. The closet is quickly heating up so you’re both starting to sweat. You undo his bowtie and unbutton part of his shirt to try and help him out. You now he’s sweating worse than you with that tux on. As you're unbuttoning his shirt you peek through the crack in the door. They’re still just fooling around on the desk. Just fuck and get it overwith already, is what your saying in your head. 

Your other leg is starting to hurt, so you sign that to Clint since he can see enough in the light. He slowly lowers your leg until you're standing on it and reaches for your other leg. He does the same thing he did before, runs his hand up your bare leg all the way up to your thigh. But this side of your dress doesn't have the slit so he’s pushing your dress up with his hand. 

The people making out on the desk finally start getting somewhere. You hear moaning, panting, and the desk shaking. Clint presses his body more firmly against you, and you can tell he’s just as turned on as you are because he’s halfway hard. He buries his face in your neck and you run your fingers through his hair. He runs his nose along your jaw and neck, like he wants to kiss you but doesn’t let his lips make contact. His grip on your thigh is getting tighter and he moves his hand a little further up. 

You need to get out of this closet before you cross a line you can’t come back from. Looking through the crack you see the girl straightening out her dress and the guy tucking his shirt back in. Oh thank god. You keep your eyes on them waiting for the moment they leave. Clint still has his face against your neck, and you’re trying to control your breathing. 

Fucking finally they leave the office and you hear the door being locked. You count to five and force the closet door open and climb out. You open your clutch purse and try cleaning up your makeup that’s smeared with sweat, while also intentionally ignoring Clint. Tony’s voice in the comms startles you  _ “Hey (Y/N)?”  _

“Yes Tony?”

_ “What the fuck did we just hear?” _ You and Clint look at each other with wide eyes, you totally forgot about the comms. “The target came into the office with some skanky chick. Clint and I had to hide in a closet while they fucked on the desk.”

Suddenly you hear Sam’s voice.  _ “Ha! Stark owes me $50 bucks. I told him it wasn’t you guys.” _

“Oh fuck you Tony. You seriously think I would do that on a mission, and with my best friend? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You can hear Steve’s heavy sigh in the background, and you can picture him shaking his head at you. Then you hear Tony.  _ “Fine I apologize. Happy?” _

Clint is frowning at you while he buttons his shirt back up. You start walking towards the door before he tries talking to you about what just happened. You just want to get this mission over with. 

You and Clint split up and plant bugs in various places, practically done in record timing. Everything went smoothly aside from the closet incident. 

When you get back into the mustang there’s an awkward silence which never happens with the two of you. Both of you take your comms out and turn them off. 

“(Y/N)....”

“It’s fine Clint. Just let it go.” He sighs and run’s a hand through his hair. “It’s not fine because I can clearly tell you’re not fine.”

“You’re married Clint! What do you want me to say? That wasn’t okay. If I were your real wife and not your pretend wife I would be pissed if I found out my husband was feeling up some girl in a closet.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Neither of you say anything after that. When you get back to the Quinjet you and Clint try to act like everything is fine so no one picks up on the awkwardness. But it's a very quiet ride home. You just tell the guys you're tired and need out of the dress and heels. They seem to buy that excuse.

The moment you land you run out of the Quinjet as fast as possible. You know Nat is back so you take off to her room. You’re almost frantically pounding on her door. When she opens the door she takes one look at you and pulls you in for a hug. “What did that idiot do now?” 

She pulls you into her room and shuts the door. You start pacing back and forth. “He’s killing me Nat. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep doing this to myself. We were already treading a very thin line. It just hurts Nat, it hurts so much.” Tears start streaming down your face. She hugs you again and tries to get you to calm down. “I want to help you sweetie but I need to know what happened.”

She sits you down on her bed and hands you some tissue. You clean your face and try to calm yourself. You tell her everything that happened starting from when you argued with Steve about going on that stupid fucking mission in the first place. She stays eerily quiet when you finish telling the story. “Please don’t kill him Nat.”

“I won’t kill him. Just hurt him a little. I knew this would happen eventually, honey your heart can only take so much. What do you want to do?”

“I…..I think I need to distance myself from him. I need a new partner, but if I ask Steve he’ll start asking questions. What am I supposed to do?”

She puts her arm around you. “I’ll take care of it, okay? Don’t worry.”

You stayed in Nat’s room that night. Clint won’t climb through the vent to her room. She kicked his ass the one time he did. You have a restless sleep. Everytime you drift off you see Clint, now your best friend is haunting your dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just couldn't help myself with the closet trope.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader attempts to avoid Clint. Then some drunken humor.

CHAPTER 6

  
  


The next day you act like everything is fine. No one is the wiser, except for Clint of course and Nat. You make sure not to get left alone with him. He keeps giving you sad eyes and trying to get your attention, but you force yourself to have some willpower to not cave for him.

Steve asks if you want to go have lunch with him. You’re pretty sure Nat had something to do with that, but you don’t hesitate to say yes. His “disguise” for when he goes out in public you find funny, because it’s not much of a disguise. He wears a jacket, baseball cap, and some fake glasses. Funny enough though it does work, he blends in like any other person walking around New York. You’re one of the less famous Avengers so you don’t typically need a disguise.

When you and Steve leave for the elevator together you can feel Clint’s eyes burning a hole through the back of your head. But you will yourself to not turn around and look at him. 

Steve takes you to a little sandwich shop and then you go to the park and eat. “Thank you Steve. I needed to get out of the tower for a little while.”

“Of course doll. I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“You got me all to yourself. I’m all ears.” That gets a small smile out of him. “So I know you and Barton have been partners for a long time. But how would you feel about switching it up a little? I think it would be good for other team members to get to work together.”

Oh Nat you brilliantly devious woman you. “Okay, what did you have in mind?” He bites his lip and looks at you nervously. “Well how would you feel about being my partner for a while? Barton can work with Sam. What do you think?”

You’re internally trying to contain your excitement because he’s not going to understand why you’re so happy about it. So you try to play it cool. “Ya I’m okay with that. I don’t want to slow you down though. I’m just a regular person, no super abilities.” Steve puts his hand on top of yours and smiles his perfect smile at you. “You’re not going to slow me down. And you have plenty of super abilities. I’ve seen you kick some ass, and take down men twice your size.”

“Language Cap.” You say teasingly.

  
  


You managed to avoid Clint all day. Nat let you stay in her room again. She hasn’t said anything to Clint yet. She’s just giving him scary looks that make him squirm. She said the anticipation of waiting for her to chew him out was going to torture him more. 

The next day goes about the same. You spend more time with your other friends and teammates. That night though Nat takes you out. She said you both needed a girls night out. A girls night out with Nat entailed lots of bar hopping and lots of alcohol.

The two of you were so hammered you had to call for a ride home. Your first instinct was to call Clint. Nat smacked your hand when she saw you pull his name up on your phone. “Sorry Nat. He’s going to be a hard habit to break.”

“Who’s the next person you would call?”

“You.”

“Okay well I clearly can’t drive so. Who would be next on the list?” You flip through your phone and pull up Steve’s name. She pats you rather hard on the back. “Captain tight pants, good choice.” 

“His ass does look nice in those tight pants.” Both of you start laughing at that. You forgot you hit the call button so when Steve picks up all he hears is you laughing.

Clint POV

Steve’s standing in the kitchen with Sam and Clint when you call. Clint feels a wave of jealousy when he sees your picture pop up on Steve’s phone as you’re calling. Steve has the volume up on his phone so he can hear your laughter and Nat’s in the background. 

“(Y/N)? You alright?”

_“Hiii Captain tight pants. Ohhh noo Nat I said it out loud. Stevie can you pretend you didn’t just hear that?”_

“Doll are you drunk? Where are you?” Clint glares at Steve, why would you call Steve and not him? Are you really that angry at him? You never stay so mad at him that you don’t talk to him for two days. If you would just let him apologize you could work this out. He knows he got carried away when you were trapped in that closet together. He has a hard time fighting his urges for you. He knows it’s wrong, but he knows if he wasn’t married when you met you would be together. Obviously that’s not the case though. 

_“Umm...just a tad drunk. I lost count of how many drinks after like the fourth bar. Nat why was I calling him? Oh ya, can you pick us up? We lost Tony's car and can’t drive anyway.”_

“Of course doll, but I need you to tell me where you are.” Clint feels his blood pressure rising. What’s with him suddenly calling you “doll”? He’ll just talk Steve into letting him tag along when he leaves to pick you up. He knows how to handle you when you’re drunk, and Steve clearly doesn’t.

_“Okay um...Nat what’s that sign say? Oh Steve can you just come, just you? Like no traveling companions. Shut up Nat, you’re supposed to be reading the sign. Anyway what was I saying? Oh ya can you pick us up?”_

Sam’s laughing and shaking his head. He can hear the whole conversation too. “Jarvis, can you track (Y/N)’s phone and send Steve the address?” 

“Yes of course. Sending the coordinates to Captain Rogers now.” Sam crosses his arms and smiles smugly at Steve. “Dude they’re too drunk to read street signs.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “(Y/N) I’m on my way. Just stay where you are.”

_“But I see another bar. Maybe we should go have a drink while we wait. Oh Nat says it's not a bar. What is it? Strip club? Well they have drinks in there too. Duh.”_

Sam’s chest is shaking from trying to hold back his laughter. Steve grabs keys to one of Tony’s cars. Clint decides to seize the opportunity. “Cap wait, I’ll go with you. They’re both……difficult when they’re drunk.”

_“NO! Only Steve!”_ Everyone hears you yell through the phone. 

Sam raises his eyebrows. “Oh what did you do to piss her off Clint?”

Clint narrows his eyes at Sam. Steve starts walking away. "It's fine Clint. I'll be right back anyway." Steve takes off. Sam is staring, still waiting for an answer. Clint lets out an annoyed sigh. "Nothing. I didn't do anything. She's just drunk and not making sense."

"Uh huh. You're full of shit Barton." 

Ya he knows he's full of shit. But he's not going to tell Sam that. Since he's not going to be able to talk to you tonight he'll just try in the morning. He'll bring you a hangover peace offering in the morning. Coffee and breakfast.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader has a hell of a hangover and gets closer to Steve.

CHAPTER 7

You wake up with a pounding headache. Your mouth feels dry and tastes like death. Dammit why did you drink so much? As you go to roll over you feel strong arms wrapped around you making it difficult to move. When did Clint crawl into bed with you? Then you remember you're avoiding your best friend. You jolt upright in a panic, worried about what you might have done in your drunken state.

"Steve?" You start rubbing your forehead, you sat up too fast and made your headache worse. He cracks his eyes open and looks at you sheepishly. Then he realizes he still has his arms wrapped around you and slowly pulls his arms away.

"Morning doll. Are you okay?" You groan and lay back down. "Depends on your definition of okay. And why am I in your bed?"

"What do you remember from last night?" You massage your temples as you think. "Just drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. And a phone call. Did I call you?"

"You sure did. How about I get you some water and aspirin. Then I'll refresh your memory." Steve gets up and you don't even attempt to move. What in the world did you do last night? Drinking seemed like a good idea at the time. Steve quickly returns with a bottle of water and some aspirin.

"Oh god, you're the best Steve."

He chuckles at you as he sits back down on the bed. "You said that last night too after I carried you to the car. Except you didn’t call me Steve."

"Oh no. I said, Captain tight pants. I thought I dreamed that. Please forget you ever heard that.” You cover your face with a pillow feeling horrified. Steve pulls the pillow away, and you see him smiling at you. “It’s fine, it was actually funny. So don’t worry about it.”

“Fine. Can you tell me why I’m in your room when mine is just down the hall?”

"Well you refused to give me the code to open your door. Something about birds in your air vents." You let out a weird snorting laugh at that. The bird you would have been referring to is Clint. "Natasha was already passed out in her room. So I had to bring you to my room. I tried to sleep on the floor but you wouldn't let me. I eventually gave in and layed in bed with you. But I swear nothing happened. I was a perfect gentleman."

“I know Steve, that’s why I didn’t even ask. If I’m going to get black out drunk I know you would be the person to pass out next too. Thank you for bringing my drunk ass home. Sorry I took over your room.”

He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s alright doll. It was actually pretty entertaining, and thank you for trusting me by the way. I’m just curious though, why did you call me and not Clint?” Oh yes the whole reason you got so plastered in the first place. You’re best friend who is driving you slowly into madness. “Well you’re my new partner for a while right? Gotta break you in somehow.” You say teasingly and hoping he’ll drop the subject.

Thankfully he does. You talk to him a while longer before you decide you need a shower. Apparently you changed into one of Steve’s shirts last night when you got to his room. Not wanting to put your dirty clothes on you told him you would give it back later. So when you leave his room carrying last night’s clothes in your arms wearing only a t-shirt you look like you’re doing a walk of shame. Your mind is hazy and you're still sleepy so you don’t see a devastated Clint standing on the far end of the hallway watching you leave Steve’s room and return to your own room.

The rest of the day you and Nat are pretty useless since you're so hungover. You don’t have to avoid Clint because you haven’t seen him all day so you just assume he went home to his real wife. Sam keeps teasing you about your drunken phone call to Steve. So you threw the TV remote at him and hit him right in the forehead. He shut up after that.

Clint returned in the late evening which you thought was odd. If he didn’t go home where has he been all day? He doesn’t look at you or stay in the same room as you. He must have got the hint that you needed a little space. 

That night you wake up from a nightmare. Out of habit and instinct you start walking toward the air vent to go to Clint’s room, but then you sadly remember you shouldn't be doing that. So instead you go out to the kitchen and sit on top of the counter with a tub of ice cream. 

As you're eating your feelings Steve comes wandering in. You’re sitting in the dark so he startles when he turns on a stove light and you suddenly appear on the counter. “Holy shit! (Y/N) you scared the shit out of me.”

That makes you choke on your ice cream a little and you start laughing while shaking your finger at him. “Such language Captain.” 

“Ya ya. I know. Now why are you sitting in the dark eating ice cream? What’s wrong?” You take another spoon full of ice cream and just stare at him for a minute. Not sure if you really want to tell him, but he’s looking at you with sincere concern. Then you decide, Fuck it. “I have nightmares from what happened with Loki. Only Clint knows, he’s the only one that understands since it happened to him too. But he’s sleeping so I didn’t want to bother him.” Ya so you gave him a half truth, close enough.

Steve grabs a spoon and hops up on the counter with you and digs into your tub of ice cream. “I may not understand the situation you went through, but I can understand the nightmares. I have some of my own from the war.”

“Really?”

“Really. That’s why I’m up too. How about we finish off this ice cream while we watch a movie?”

You give him a small smile and nod your head. The two of you go out to the living room and curl up on the couch and watch a movie. Eventually both of you fall asleep on the couch. During the night you somehow maneuvered so your back is against his chest and his arm is wrapped around you.

The feeling of being watched wakes you in the morning. You forgot where you fell asleep. As you crack your eyes open you see Sam and Tony sitting on the couch across from you drinking coffee and giving you shit eating grins. Fuck you fell asleep on the couch. “You guys are creepy you know that?” 

Tony scoffs at you. “Hey you’re the one sleeping in the community living room. Take your late night rendezvous to your own room if you don’t want to be stared at.” 

Steve starts to stir behind you. He must have forgotten where he was too. Because he stretches which pushes his very large and very hard dick against your ass. So not a good time for that to happen. Steve cracks his eyes open and jolts upright when he sees where he is and that he’s being watched. 

“Fuck you Tony. We were watching a movie and fell asleep. There was no late night rendezvous.” Sam and Tony just keep smiling at you smugly. It’s too early for this shit. 

What you didn’t know is an already upset Clint came through earlier and saw you sleeping peacefully with Steve.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint's had enough of the reader avoiding him and things come to a head.

CHAPTER 8

  
  


A couple hours after you were caught sleeping with Steve on the couch everyone gets called into a meeting. Jarvis located another Hydra facility so Steve wants to do a quick debriefing and head out as quickly as possible. 

During the debriefing he assigns where he wants everyone to be once the Quinjet has landed. “Okay guys, we’re switching things up a little bit. I think it’s good for other team members to get to work together. Sam you’re with Barton today, and (Y/N) is with me.” Sam just smiles and winks at Steve, like he thinks Steve has ulterior motives for switching partners, especially after the position you two were caught in this morning. 

Clint on the other hand looks pissed. “What? No! I don’t think so, absolutely not. (Y/N) and I have been partners for years and we are in sync and know how each other works.” Clint looks to you waiting for you to agree with him. When you don’t say anything you can see the hurt in his eyes. 

You can feel your resolve crumbling and go to say something but Nat puts her hand on your shoulder and shakes her head. Fuck this is going to be harder than you thought.

Steve doesn’t seem phased by Clint. “I understand that Clint. But it will make us a stronger team if we can all work together like that. And that can’t happen if you're always together. Now let's head out.”

Clint storms off without a word. When you all get loaded up onto the Quinjet Clint sits across from you with his arms crossed and a clearly pissed off face. Everyone else goes on like everything is normal. You keep trying to look in any direction but Clint’s. But you can feel his eyes on you. Eventually you lose your internal battle with yourself and look in his direction.

He just stares at you for a moment, and you can’t seem to force yourself to look away. You so desperately want to just go hug him. Since you haven’t looked away Clint signs to you.  _ Why? _

When you go to respond Nat interrupts you and calls you to the front of the jet. You know she did it on purpose. She keeps you busy the rest of the flight so you never get a chance to respond to Clint.

Once you land you all go where Steve instructed. Sam flies him and Clint to the rooftop. You and Steve stay on the ground and fight your way inside the Hydra facility. At one point you get knocked over and your comm falls out and gets stepped on. When you tell Steve he tells you not to worry about it because you’re together, but he lets everyone know your off comms because yours was damaged. You're wondering what Clint’s reply was, but you don’t ask Steve.

You and Steve clear the first two floors, when you get to the third floor you find their computers. Steve has you start downloading anything you can get off of them. He keeps watch by the door, takes out anyone that comes down the hall. But when a group of 5 come it takes a little more effort. You get up to help Steve but he yells at you to stay on your task, so you go back to the computer. When Steve gets to the last guy they are fighting all over the room. Steve gets the guy to the window and shoves him out but he grabs a hold of Steve at the last second pulling him down with him. 

You know Steve is fine. Third floor is nothing for him. The guy jumps out of airplanes without a parachute for crying out loud. But now you're stuck alone and no comm to know where anyone is. You quickly finish up what you’re doing, you can hear footsteps running down the hallway. So you put your back against the wall behind the door. When the footsteps enter the room you hit the guy with your bow, not realizing who it was until it was too late.

“Fuck Clint are you alright?! I thought you were some Hydra dude barreling down the hallway.”

He doesn’t even seem phased by you hitting him in the head. He pulls his comm out and turns it off. Then he puts his hands on your shoulders and shoves you against the wall. “Why? Tell me why? Years of friendship and you cut me out just like that!”

“You’re married, and what happened was wrong. I just needed some space Clint. I’m sorry.”

“So your way of making yourself feel better was to go and fuck Steve!”

That hit a nerve, now you’re angry. You shove him away. “You have no right to be fucking jealous! I’m not the married one. Do you expect me to just pine after you until the end of time and die old and alone?! And for the fucking record I didn’t fuck Steve. I passed out in his room when I was drunk. Nothing happened!”

Clint takes a deep breath to try and calm down, because you were screaming at each other. “Why wouldn’t you just talk to me? You’ve never shut me out like this before. I’m sorry about what happened. I know I fucked up.”

“Because I can’t Clint.” You’re trying to hold back your tears, but Clint’s not helping. Apparently your answer isn’t good enough. He slams one hand against the wall, and he lost the bit of calmness he had. “That’s not an answer! I deserve a straight fucking answer. WHY?”

“Because your fucking killing me Clint. It hurts! I love you so fucking much it fucking hurts. I can’t take it anymore!” 

Clint puts both of his hands on your face and shoves you back against the wall with his body. Then crashes your lips together. You forget about everything else because all you can focus on is his lips moving against yours. You put your hands on the back of his neck and try pulling him impossibly closer and moan into his mouth. 

His lips are just as soft as you imagined, and the kiss is even better than the ones you fantasized about. 

Reluctantly you are forced to break apart for air. But Clint doesn’t pull away he just rests his forehead against yours. You’re both breathing heavily trying to catch your breath. His hands are still on your face, he’s rubbing his thumbs along your cheek bones. “The feeling is mutual darlin’ trust me.”

So lost in the moment neither of you heard the Hydra soldier coming down the hall. You don’t know he’s there until you see him in the corner of your eye. He has a gun pointed at Clint. 

You think fast and shove Clint out of the way just in time. You feel the sharp pain as the bullet pierces through your skin and you fall to the floor hitting your head on the concrete, then everything goes black.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of taking a bullet for Clint.

CHAPTER 9

Loud shouting. Lots and lots of loud shouting. It wakes you and then you feel the most painful throbbing headache you’ve ever felt. If you were standing you would have fallen to the floor. You go to lift your arm to rub your head, but then you feel another terrible pain in your arm causing you to groan out loud.

“Careful sweetie, don’t move that arm yet.” Your head hurts too much to even attempt to open your eyes. “Nat?” You feel a hand touch your hand on your good arm. “Ya I’m right here.”

The shouting gets louder, and as you wake up more you can make out the voices. It’s Steve and Clint fighting. 

“ _She’s your partner for a fucking hour and you leave her alone with no fucking comm. Then she gets shot! Nice work Cap.”_

_“Why did you turn your god damn comm off Clint? You would have known someone got away in the building if you didn’t turn it off!”_

You let out another groan. “Make the fucking yelling stop. It's hurting my head more.” She squeezes your hand. “You got it hun, I’ll be right back.” Nat storms out of the room, shutting the door to the infirmary behind her. Then you hear Nat whisper yelling at them. Clint and Steve start arguing about going to see you since you're awake. You can’t make out much else after that, but whatever Nat did, it shut them up. She comes back into the room and sits in the chair next to the hospital bed they have you in. 

“Thank you. Now can you tell me what happened?”

“Well what’s the last thing you remember?” You try thinking through the fog in your brain. Clint. You were fighting with him and he threw you against a wall and kissed you. It was the best kiss you ever had.

“(Y/N)?”

“Um….I was with Steve and copying files off a computer. He fought with some dudes and fell out a window. I had no comm and I didn’t know where anyone was. I heard someone coming down the hall so I hid and when they came in I hit them with my bow. But it turned out to be Clint and after that some guy was going to shoot Clint so I shoved him out of the way.”

Nat stays quiet for a minute. So you rub your eyes and crack them open a little. Thankfully someone turned the lights off so it didn’t hurt as bad as you were expecting. Your vision is fuzzy and your seeing double until you find where she’s sitting and focus on her. She doesn’t look happy. “Why the face? What happened?”

“Well you took a bullet for Clint and then hit your head really hard on the cement floor you’ve been out for a couple hours. You’re lucky the bullet only went through your shoulder. Dr. Cho is on her way to set up the lab to heal your shoulder. How did you even end up with Clint?”

Oh she’s fishing for information. Well you’re not spilling all the beans, even to Nat. “I told you I was alone and he came running down the hallway. I hit him pretty hard in the head when he came into the room too.” 

She rolls her eyes. “Should have hit him harder. Do you know why he turned his comm off?” You shake your head no and immediately regret it. Your head starts throbbing again so you cover your face with one hand. You feel Nat’s hand on your uninjured shoulder. “How about we talk later, and you get some more rest. I’ll keep the boys away. They are both in a lot of trouble with me right now, this whole thing could have been avoided.”

You’re too tired to argue with her. So you just grunt in agreement and go back to sleep.

A couple hours later Nat wakes you up when Dr. Cho arrives. She has a machine that can regenerate tissue. Which you are actually very thankful for, because your shoulder is killing you. Bruce comes and gives you a small smile. “You hanging in there sweetheart?” You go to nod your head and remember that’s a bad idea. “Ya, I’m alright all things considered.”

“Well let’s get that shoulder fixed. That will help some of your pain.” Bruce goes to the head of the bed and wheels you down the hall, and Nat follows close behind. They have to lift you together to get you into the machine. Every time you tried to sit up you would get dizzy. 

Dr. Cho is talking to a very excited Bruce once she turns the machine on. He’s geeking out over the machine. All you have to do is lay there while it creates new tissue on your damaged shoulder. The room you're in is all glass windows so anyone walking by can see in. 

Nat’s leaning against the machine watching Bruce geek out. You know she’s got a thing for Bruce. They’ve been dancing around each other for months. Since she’s occupied you look out the glass window she has her back to and immediately lock eyes with Clint. You know he’s blaming himself right now for what happened, and you don’t blame him even if he did turn his comm off. You also know you should probably be feeling terrible about that kiss considering you were upset with him already over the closet incident, but you’ll fret over that later. Right now you want your best friend to know you’re okay. 

You already had your good arm kind of hanging off the side of the machine. So you sign to him with one hand. _Hi._

He gives you a small smile and signs back to you. _I’m sorry, are you okay?_

_I’m fine. Promise._

_Can we talk later?_

_Yes._

He waves and takes off after you say yes, you know he’s afraid Nat will spot him. Once the machine is done fixing your shoulder you do feel a lot better. Your head still hurts but at least you can move your arm now. You refused to stay in the infirmary when your room is just a couple floors away. Nat got called away for something so Bruce enlisted Thor to carry you to your room since you're still feeling nauseous when you move too much.

You curl up right in Thor’s big arms. He’s always been like a big brother to you. “You gave us quite a scare lady (Y/N). I’m glad you are doing better.”

“I’m alright. It’s going to take more than a bullet to the shoulder to bring me down.” He lets out a small laugh that rumbles in his chest. 

“I told them you may be small but you are a mighty warrior. But Captain Rogers and Barton feel very terrible about what happened.”

“Aww thanks Thor. And I’m sorry for scaring you guys.” Thor gets you to your room without running into anyone. They must be wherever Nat is. He gently sets you down on your bed. “Get some rest little one. One of us will check in on you later.”

“Thank you Thor.” He smiles and nods his head then leaves you alone in your room. You’re still tired so you curl up in your bed and go back to sleep. 

Some time later you wake when you feel the bed move. You crack your eyes open and see Clint lying on his side facing you. You give him a small smile. “How did you get past Nat?”

He smiles back at you but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “It was not easy let me tell you.” He extends his hand like he’s going to touch your face, but he stops himself and rests his hand between the two of you. So you put your hand on top of his. He’s staring into your eyes. “You took a bullet that was meant for me. When you were unconscious on the floor and bleeding I thought I might lose you forever. It’s my fault you’re hurt. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Clint I know you would have done the same thing for me. So you shouldn’t be surprised I took a bullet for you. I’m fine, my head just hurts now. I don’t blame you or Steve at all okay?” You grab his hand and pull it to your shoulder where you were shot. "See I'm fine. Dr. Cho fixed me, good as new."

He gently runs his fingertips along the healed skin of your shoulder. “I would take a bullet for you without a second thought. When Steve said he was outside the building without you I panicked and took off to go find you. I know you can handle yourself in a fight, but we’re always together. I’m sorry for yelling at you and making a bigger mess out of everything.” 

You’re not sure what to say to him so you just move your hand to his face and caress his cheek. 

When you don’t say anything he starts talking again. “I know it was wrong for me to kiss you, but I don’t regret it. And I know I probably only made things worse for us. I’m sorry if I’ve been hurting you, that’s never been my intention. But please don’t push me away. You’re my best friend. I need you (Y/N). I’ve been so miserable without you.” You can hear the hurt and sincerity in his voice, and his eyes are watering. Your own eyes start watering. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you too. I don’t want to push you away Clint. I need my best friend too. But we need to find a happy medium here.” Tears start dripping off your face and onto your pillow. Clint hesitantly opens his arms. You slide over and lay your head on his chest and he wraps his arms around you. “I know (Y/N) we’ll figure it out okay?”

“Okay Clint. And for the record that was the best kiss I ever had, but it can’t happen again.”

"I know." He says barely above a whisper.

The two of you just lay there for a while without talking. With your head still on his chest you listen to his heart beat, and he gently runs his fingers through your hair. 

“(Y/N) can I ask you something without you getting mad?”

“Ya, what is it?”

“Why were you sleeping with Steve on the couch the other night?” You sigh against his chest. “I had a nightmare, and I was automatically headed towards your room but I stopped myself. Instead I went to the kitchen and stuffed away my feelings with ice cream. Steve happened to come into the kitchen and offered to watch a movie with me. We accidentally fell asleep on the couch.”

“Why was he up so late? Getting a glass of prune juice or some Ovaltine?” You snort out a laugh against his chest. “You’re such an asshole Clint.”

“But I’m your asshole.”

“Ya you’ll always be my asshole.” He doesn’t say anything else after that, and you're starting to feel sleepy again. “Clint will you stay with me?”

“Of course darlin’.” 

You fall asleep with your head on Clint’s chest and his arms wrapped around you. For the first time in days you have a restful sleep.

When you drift off to sleep you don’t hear Clint whisper. “I love you so much it hurts too.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spending the day with Steve.

CHAPTER 10

  
  


The next day Clint had to go home. He left early in the morning, after he untangled your bodies he kissed your forehead and said he’d see you in a couple days. 

Nat never saw Clint in or leave your room, but you had a feeling she knew anyway. Thankfully she never said anything to you. 

After you manage a shower you put on sweats and a tank top. Your head still hurts but it's not throbbing and if you move too fast you still get a little light headed and dizzy. You’re trying to keep your mind off Clint which is a difficult task, but you’ll just send your emotions spiraling if you focus on everything that’s happened. 

After you get dressed you sit back down to reorient yourself, but of course there’s a knock on your door and you really don’t want to get up. “Jarvis who is it?”

“Captain Rogers miss.” You look towards the door, getting up isn’t an option at the moment. But you talked to Clint, it’s only fair you talk to Steve. “Can you let him in Jarvis I can’t get up right now.”

A few seconds later you hear the door opening. “(Y/N)?”

“Come in Steve, I can’t get up at the moment.” You hear the door shut and Steve enters the room sounding worried. “Why can’t you get up? Are you alright doll?”

“I’m alright. I just keep getting dizzy which makes me nauseous. So I didn’t feel like puking.” You’re sitting on the edge of your bed with your hands covering your face. Steve has kneeled down on the floor in front of you. Once you feel the nausea subsiding you remove your hands from your face. His eyes look so sad.

“I’m so sorry doll. I didn’t mean to leave you. I should’ve been more careful. Can you forgive me?”

“Steve I’m not mad at you and I don’t blame you or Clint I promise.” His eyes darken when you mention Clint. “Clint is just as guilty as I am. I shouldn’t have left you and he shouldn’t have turned his comm off.”

You grab his hand and put it to your shoulder like you did with Clint. “See I’m fine. You’d never know I was shot yesterday. I’m just dealing with a headache. It’s not the first time someone’s been injured on a mission and I know it won’t be the last.”

Steve runs his hand across your shoulder looking for any flaws in your skin. When he finds none he slides his hand down the length of your arm and holds your hand. “I know you’re right, but it still doesn’t make me feel any better. Is there anything I can do for you?” You look down at your joined hands and smile. “I’m starving and if I get up and start moving I’ll lose my appetite.”

Steve finally smiles at you. “Say no more doll. I’ll get you something to eat. Be right back okay?” He goes to get up but you stop him, and grab a pen off the nightstand next to your bed. You take his hand and write down some numbers, it’s the code to open the door to your room. That way he can get in easily when he comes back. “You finally trust me with the code now?” He says with a small smile.

“I trust you. I was just too drunk to remember that night and babbled some nonsense.” You feel a little bad for lying to him, but he doesn’t need to know you were avoiding your best friend at the time. “Okay doll. I’ll be right back.”

When Steve comes back some time later with an abundance of food you convince him to stay with you. You lay in your bed together and watch movies all day. The two of you gradually moved closer and closer to each other until you ended up with your head on his chest and he has one arm wrapped around you.

It’s been quiet for a while, both of you just enjoying your movie. Steve breaks the silence after a while. “You know I can’t remember the last time I just had a lazy day where I did nothing. It’s kind of nice, but I don’t think I could do it alone. I'd get stir crazy.”

You smile against his chest. “Well I’m happy to be your lazy partner for the day. Thank you for keeping me company and feeding me. Kind of makes me sound like a house cat huh?” Steve starts laughing. He has a nice laugh, too bad he doesn’t laugh more. “Well I haven’t heard any purring so I think you're okay.”

“Whatever, smart ass. When is the last time you just relaxed anyway?” He stays quiet for a minute like he’s thinking. “Honestly probably before the war, before the serum. I was sick a lot then so I’d be stuck in bed for days at a time. That’s probably why I get restless now. I only had Bucky to keep me company, and he couldn’t always be there either.”

Steve never really talks about his old life, his time before Captain America. So you’re both surprised and honored he opened up to you like that. “You never really bring it up so that’s why I never asked, but would you let me help you and Sam search for Bucky?”

“Do you really want to?”

“Well I saw him that day, and spoke to him too. Granted he didn’t say anything back, but he could have easily hurt me or killed me and he didn’t. I think he’s still in there somewhere. What happened to him isn’t his fault, I think he needs help. Life dealt him a shitty hand, and he deserves a second chance.”

Steve makes a sniffling sound so you lean back so that you can see his face. His eyes are watery. “Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry.” He gives you a sad smile. “No you didn’t say anything wrong. It’s just everyone only sees Bucky as the Winter Soldier that Hydra created. I know Sam is only helping me because he’s my friend, not because he cares about Bucky. So it’s nice to hear someone finally agrees with me, even after you saw him at his worst.”

“So you’ll let me help you?”

“Ya doll, if you really want to. I’d be happy to have you help me.” He smiles at you again and puts his hand on your cheek. You see him look at your lips but quickly looks back to your eyes. He’s still shy when it comes to women even though he could have just about any woman he wanted. So you know he probably won’t make the first move. 

You slowly lean up closer to him and close the small distance between you and gently press your lips to his. He hesitates at first and you're not sure if it's from shock or because he doesn’t want to kiss you. So you almost pull away but he starts moving his soft plump lips against yours kissing you back.

He keeps one hand on your face and the other is wrapped around your lower back. Neither of you seem to want to pull away. You're not sure how long the kiss lasts but you want more. You try to move your body with the intention of sitting in his lap but the dizzy feeling hits you again. The lack of air probably didn’t help either. So you're forced to break the kiss and you rest your forehead against his shoulder. “Doll, are you alright? Did I do something wrong?” 

“No you did everything right. I just moved too much and got dizzy.”

“Maybe we should stop, and I’ll let you get some sleep.” You sigh against his shoulder. Maybe you don’t want to stop, you think to yourself. But you don’t say that out loud. “Please don’t leave. I mean, unless you really want to.”

He gently wraps his arms around your body and turns you so you’re laying flat on your back and he’s hovering above you. “I don’t want to leave doll. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I don’t want to hurt you more.” You run your fingers through his perfect blonde hair and bite your lip. “You didn’t hurt me. How about you shut up and kiss me some more.” 

He smiles and shakes his head at you. Then he leans down and once again presses his lips to yours. You could get used to this, his kisses are slow and passionate. He’s not in a rush, he wants to take his time and enjoy the moment. 

It goes on like that for a while, slow kiss after slow kiss. Eventually he stops kissing you and gently rests his forehead against yours.

“I have wanted to do that for a very long time, but I think we should stop for now. Until you feel better.”

“Okay, but will you stay with me? Please? I don’t want to be alone.” He kisses you one more time before he pulls away so he can see your face. “Anything you want doll.” He rolls off of you and lays back down next to you with open arms. You slide back over and rest your head on his chest again and he wraps both of his arms around you. 

“Hey Steve..?”

“Hmm?”

“You said you’ve wanted to do that for a long time. How long do you mean exactly.” He clears his throat awkwardly, and takes a deep breath. “Since I woke up in the hospital with you sleeping in the chair next to my bed.” 

“Wow. That’s a long time. I really never knew you felt that way. Took you long enough.” You say teasingly. “Ya well, waiting too long seems to be a common theme with me. But you’re always with Barton, never really a good time to pour my heart out. Plus I didn’t think you’d feel the same.”

“I’ll be honest, because of the someone I told you I never got over I never really thought of you that way until recently. You were right when you said I haven’t given anyone a chance so that I could move on. So your late timing might have actually been perfect timing.”

He chuckles at that. “Well I’m glad it worked out in my favor this time. How about you get some rest and we can talk more later. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He kisses the top of your head.

"Okay Steve, and thank you for today." 

The two of you fall asleep entangled with each other and have a restful sleep nightmare free.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything in Russian is from Google translator. If it's wrong we're just going to blame Google.
> 
> Also finally some smut. You're welcome.

CHAPTER 11

  
  


When you wake up the next morning you're still wrapped up in Steve's arms. You smile thinking about yesterday. Steve's so sweet and an excellent kisser. You like the old fashion part of him. There's not many men around like him anymore, then gentlemanly type.

A frown forms on your face as you think of Clint. He's going to be pissed if you start seeing Steve. But you can't put your life on hold for him. You love Clint, but it's time to give someone else a chance.

"It's awfully early to be thinking so hard." How in the world did he know you were awake?

"Mornin' Steve. And sorry, didn't mean to wake you." 

"You're fine, I’m usually up early anyway. Are you feeling okay?" That's a good question. Might as well find out. You slowly push yourself up and Steve loosens his hold on you. He gives you a questioning look.

"Well I'm not dizzy or lightheaded. I just have a dull headache. So I'd say I'm doing a little better." He gives you a bright smile. “That’s great news. So...um….doll about last night.” Your heart quickly drops because he’s not smiling anymore. Did he change his mind overnight? 

“It’s fine Steve, you don’t have to let me down easy. I’m not fragile.” He looks at you incredulously. “What? I was just going to ask if I could take you on a real date. What did you think I was going to say?”

Oh. Well now you feel silly. You just shake your head at him. “Nothing, sorry. Your face just got all serious. Thought maybe you changed your mind.” He sits up next to you and puts a hand on your face. “No not at all. Doll the way I was raised you’re supposed to take a girl out, not sleep in her bed first. I just want to do things the right way that’s all.”

You give him a shy smile. “Technically I slept in your bed first. But yes I would very much like to go on a date with you.”

He gives you one of the brightest smiles you’ve ever seen on his face and kisses your cheek. “So you'll be my best girl?"

Coming from anyone else that would sound odd. Hearing it from him makes you feel giddy inside. You nod your head and smile at him. "Ya I like the sound of that."

  
  


After that Steve goes back to his room to shower. You do the same and get dressed in some comfy clothes. You decide to head out to the kitchen and find some breakfast. Steve happens to leave his room the same time as you so you walk to the kitchen together. 

The whole team is sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. All eyes turn to you and Steve. Sam and Tony start grinning at you stupidy again. 

Tony who just can’t help himself decides to embarrass you. “You and Cap finally finished playing hide the zucchini?”

“Do you ever tire of me telling you to fuck off or do you enjoy it that much? Fuck you Tony. I couldn’t get out of bed without getting dizzy. Steve just kept me company you ass hat.” Steve’s face is bright red now. Natasha comes to your rescue after she gives you a knowing smirk. “Lay off Tony, quit being a perv. You’re just jealous you're not getting any action.” Tony quickly changes the subject after that.

Neither of you told the team about your new relationship, if you can even call it that yet. You'll have to discuss that with him later. Steve just gives you shy smiles every now and then. But Natasha of course can read it all over your face. She starts talking to you in Russian.

"On khorosho tseluyetsya?"

( _ Is he a good kisser?) _

"Neveroyatno khorosho"

_ (Incredibly good.) _

Tony hates it when you guys do that. "Hey, english ladies. Don't make me have Jarvis translate your secret conversation."

Natasha and you look at Tony and say in unison. "Poshel na khuy Tony."

_ (Fuck you Tony.) _

Steve just shakes his head at you as per usual and smiles.

After breakfast the team goes off to train. You’re not allowed until you’re cleared by the doctor. Which you aren’t really sad about missing training. So you stay in the living room and watch some TV. The sound of the elevator opening gets your attention. You turn and look over the couch and see Clint coming towards you.

“Clint? What are you doing back? You just left yesterday and told me you’d be gone a few days.” He sits down on the couch next to you and gives you a once over with his eyes. “Are you feeling better darlin’?”

“Ya I just have a dull headache. Got me out of training though so I’m not going to complain. Now why are you avoiding my question?” He sighs and runs a hand down his face. “Laura and I got into a fight.” He doesn’t say anything else after that. He lays his head on your shoulder so you wrap your arm around him and run your fingers through his hair. You whisper quietly. “Clint what happened?”

He keeps his head on your shoulder as he’s talking. “I was supposed to be home a day sooner, but I stayed because you were in the infirmary. I couldn’t leave until I knew you were okay. Laura sent the kids to her parents house so we could have some time together before the baby is born. She was pissed I didn’t come home when I said I would, and after I told her the reason why we started arguing. The argument just escalated from there and I ended up telling her I kissed you. She slapped me and told me to leave. She said she would call me after she calmed down.”

Your hand stopped moving and is just resting on his head. You’re staring blankly at the wall in complete shock. Laura is pregnant with their third child. Did you just break their marriage with a baby on the way. “(Y/N) I know what you’re thinking and it’s not your fault. I kissed you remember.” When you still haven’t said anything he lifts his head off your shoulder and gently puts his hand on your face. He sees a tear dripping down your cheek. 

“Clint I don’t want to be the reason your marriage fails. You need to go home and make things right. I’ll never forgive myself if it’s because of me. Even if you kissed me first, I didn’t stop you or even hesitate to kiss you back.”

“(Y/N) I promise, I’ll make things right okay? I just need to let her cool off, and I’ll go home as soon as she calls. Just please don’t start pushing me away again. I can’t handle problems with both my wife and my best friend. Please?”

You let out a heavy sigh and now it’s your turn to lean your head against his shoulder. “Okay Clint. But I need to tell you something too. I need you to be happy for me, not make things more difficult.” Clint cuts you off. “Let me guess you and Steve?” You just nod your head against his shoulder.

He leans his head on top of yours. “I’ll be happy for you. I kind of saw it coming anyway. It’s not fair for me to be jealous. Just promise you’ll stay my best friend.”

"I promise. Can you make me the same promise?"

He kisses the top of your head. "I promise darlin'."

  
  


The team ended up figuring out that day you and Steve were dating. Tony wasn't lying, he had Jarvis translate what you and Natasha said. Then Tony told everyone and they ganged up on Steve during training until he admitted he asked you on a date. Everyone was happy for you. Sam and Tony just enjoy teasing you. 

Clint's trying his best to be happy for you. He finally got a taste of how you must have been feeling all these years.

Laura eventually called and Clint went home. He says they worked things out and he's been spending more time at home than at the tower.

Over the next couple weeks Steve takes you on a few dates. Just simple things like dinner and a movie or walk in the park. You're not a fancy kind of girl so you're easy to please. Plus you can't remember the last time you actually went on a date.

You haven't gone further than making out. If he wants to go slow that's fine, but he hasn't said as much. And it's been a long time since you've been with a man so you're getting eager.

Which leads to your current position. You're with Steve in his room making out like horny teenagers in his bed. He's sitting with his back against the head of the bed and you climbed into his lap. His hands go to your hips and your hands go around the back of his neck and run through his hair.

Both of you are wearing sweats so you can feel him getting hard which turns you on more. You grind down against him and moan into his mouth. He holds your hips more firmly not allowing you to grind against him again.

Now you're worried you went too far so you break the kiss and pull away. "Steve you gotta tell me if I'm doing some wrong or if you're not comfortable. Do you want me to stop?"

He leans his head back against the wall and takes a deep breath. “No doll I don’t, and you’re not doing anything wrong. This is really embarrassing for me to say, so don’t laugh.”

You haven’t moved from his lap, and he still has his hands on your hips. You put your hand on his face. “I won’t laugh at you. I swear.”

He bites his lip and looks you in the eyes for a moment. “I’m not the blushing virgin Tony likes to make me out to be. But I also haven’t done anything with a woman since before I went into the ice. I’m just nervous and don’t want to disappoint you.”

You try to keep your face neutral. “You haven’t had sex since 1945?” He nods his head slowly. “You were found a few years ago, and you could have any woman you want. What have you been waiting for?”

“The right partner.” He says quietly. "After the serum I took advantage of the attention I started getting from women and it actually made me feel bad about myself because I’m not that kind of person. I didn't want to do that again."

“Am I the right partner?”

He nods his head slowly again. “Oh Steve.” You lean forward and kiss him gently. “You have me beat with 1945, but it’s been years for me also. I can’t remember the last time I got off without something battery operated. So I promise you won’t disappoint me.”

“That’s what all those batteries were for?” 

“Hey I didn’t laugh at you. You can’t laugh at me.” You say while poking a finger into his chest. Then you decide to tease him a little to see how he reacts. “Remember when we fell asleep on the couch?”

“Ya, what about it?”

“Well in the morning before you fully woke up you stretched and rub your big hard cock against my ass. I was so turned on when I got back to my room I touched myself thinking about you. What do you think about that Captain?”

Before you know what’s happening Steve flips you onto your back and wedges his body between your spread legs. He leans on his elbows so he doesn’t crush you and his face is just inches from yours. “Did you really?” You nod your head and suddenly he crashes his lips into yours. You can feel him getting hard again and he starts grinding against you. When he breaks the kiss you’re both breathing heavily. “(Y/N) I don’t have any….you know protection.”

“I have one in my room Nat gave me as a joke. Want me to go get it?” He leans downs and kisses you again. “Ya I’m ready if you are.” He rolls off of you and you can’t contain your excitement. You don’t even try straightening yourself out. You just shout “be right back” over your shoulder and take off down the hall to your room. 

Clint’s standing down at the far end of the hall. He came into the tower since he’s supposed to be training tomorrow. You’re on a mission, because you desperately need to get laid so you don’t notice him. He sees how disheveled you look as you run out of Steve’s room and into yours. You’re only in your room for a few seconds before you come running back out with something small in your hand. He’s pretty sure he can guess what that is. He decides to leave and go get a drink and try not to think about what you’re about to be doing.

  
  


Steve chuckles at you when you come running back into the room in record timing. You jump on the bed, climb into his lap and peel his shirt off of him. You run your hands down his perfectly chiseled body and smirk at him. “Are you going to undress me Captain?” He lets out a growl and flips you onto your back again. He grabs the hem of your shirt and looks back to your eyes for permission. You nod your head and he quickly removes your shirt. Then he reaches for your sweats and yanks them off throwing them onto the floor. He leans back just looking at your body. He runs his fingertips from your shoulder, down your chest between your breasts, then to your belly and stops at your thigh. “I told you (Y/N), you’re beautiful.”

“You’re not so bad yourself my sexy Captain.” He smiles at you and pulls his sweats off leaving him in just black boxer briefs. You can see the outline of his very large, and very hard cock. You rub your thighs together, you’re aching to have him inside you already.

He leans back down and starts kissing you. You know he probably wants to take his time, but you really just need him now. He can take it slow next time. You reach between your bodies and start stroking him through his underwear. He bites your bottom lip and moans. “Steve, baby, I know you like taking things slow and all that. But I think we both need this really bad right now. So how about we take it slow next time? Right now I need you to fuck me into this mattress and make me forget my own name.”

He lets out another growl. It seems Steve likes dirty talk, you’ll file that information away for later. You’re still stroking him and he’s breathing erratically. “Are you sure doll?” You pull him down by his neck so you can talk into his ear. “Fuck me Captain.” That was the last little push he needed. He grabs the condom off the nightstand. You remove your bra and panties while he’s doing that. 

His gorgeous naked body climbs back on top of yours. He slides his cock through your soaking wet folds a few times. Then he finally lines himself up at your entrance and you feel the pressure of him pushing inside you. “Doll you’re so tight I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m fine baby, just go slow at first until I adjust.” He keeps pushing and you can feel yourself stretching around him. That serum must have enhanced everything because he’s huge. Once he’s fully sheathed inside of you he rests his forehead against your shoulder and breaths into the crook of your neck. 

“You can move Steve. I’m okay.” 

You can feel him nod his head. He lifts his head and captures your lips. You’ve got one hand in his hair and the other on his lower back. He leans on one arm to keep his weight off of you and his free hand goes to your breast then he slides it down your body and grabs hold of your thigh. He continues kissing you as he pulls out slowly and pushes back in. Both of you moan into each other's mouths. He does it a couple times to make sure he’s not going to hurt you. 

You wrap your legs around his hips and he picks up the pace, starts moving faster. It becomes too difficult to continue kissing so he rests his forehead back on your shoulder. You hear him moan out “oh fuck” a few times. “Faster Steve.” You breathe out next to his ear. He happily obliges and starts thrusting faster, he still has one hand on your hip. You start moving your hips to meet his thrusts. “Oh fuck baby, you feel so fucking good.” He gasps out. Your eyes roll back and you don’t even register how many times Steve has said fuck.

He’s still holding back you can tell. “Steve you don’t have to hold back. Fuck me harder Captain.” He puts both arms under your back and wraps around you putting his hands on top of your shoulders. Then he starts relentlessly pounding into you. He keeps moving fast and hard. Neither of you are able to form any words; it's just the obscene sounds of skin on skin slapping together and incoherent moaning.

He hits that right spot over and over and can feel yourself on the edge. “Steve.” Is the only warning you’re able to give him. You come so hard you feel like you might black out. You scream his name when your orgasm hits you. He keeps his hard and fast pace, as your walls spasm and clench around him, his thrusts start getting erratic. He comes shortly after you and moans out your name as he comes. 

He’s breathing heavily into your neck and kisses your sweaty skin a couple times. He lifts his head so he can see your face and smiles at you. You smile back at him and pull him down for a kiss. “We’re going to need a lot more condoms.” He says against your lips. You start laughing. “Definitely, I’ll get on birth control first thing tomorrow.”

Once you both stop laughing Steve looks at you more seriously. “I didn’t hurt you did I?” You shake your head no. “Not at all. It was perfect, exactly what I needed.”

“Me too doll, but next time I do want to take my time with you.” He gives you a quick kiss and carefully pulls out of you. Both of you clean yourselves up and get partially dressed. Steve asked you to stay in his room tonight so you happily agreed. So you curl up in bed together with your head on his chest. 

“Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“Does anyone else know what a dirty mouth you have?” You say teasingly. He chuckles at you. “No. Can that be our secret?”

“That and the fact you liked being talked to dirty? It can be our dirty little secret.” You can’t see him but you know he’s shaking his head at you and rolling his eyes. The two of you drift off to sleep shortly after that. 

A few hours later a buzzing sound wakes you up. You grunt at Steve a few times. He grunts back at you. “It’s your phone not mine.” You blindly reach for the nightstand and feel around until you grab your phone. You squint your eyes open. 

_ Clint calling……. _ Flashes on your phone. Why is he calling you at 1:00 in the morning?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What kind of trouble has Clint got into?

CHAPTER 12

  
  


Why is Clint calling you at 1:00 in the morning? You’re annoyed about being woken up when you answer. “What?!” It’s silent for a minute, then someone starts stuttering. “Um..I’m sorry is this (Y/N)?”

You jolt upright in bed, that’s not Clint’s voice. “Yes. Who is this and why do you have my friend’s phone?” That reply gets Steve’s attention, he moves and sits up next to you. 

“Well I’m the bartender and the Downtown City Bar. Your friend has had way too much to drink, and your name was the top contact in his phone. I really don’t want to call the cops on an Avenger. So can you come pick him up or send someone? Otherwise I’ll have no choice.”

“Please don’t do that. I’m on my way. I should be there in 10 minutes.” You don’t wait for the guy's reply. You quickly jump out of bed and frantically try to find your damn pants. Steve must have been able to hear what the bartender said. “Doll do you want me to go with you?”

“Thank you Steve but no. He’ll just be feistier if you come with me. I can handle him just fine, so don’t worry.” You jump on the bed and give him a quick kiss. “I’m sorry. I’ll stay tomorrow night if you want.” Again you’re in such a hurry you don’t wait for his reply. You take off running towards your room. Once you get there you grab a coat, your purse, and throw your hair up in a ponytail. You have keys to one of Tony’s car’s that he lets you use whenever you want. The same one you lost when you were drunk with Nat. Good thing he has tracking devices on them.

Within minutes you’re in the car, probably driving too fast. But you’re worried about Clint. He hasn’t done anything like this since your early days in Shield. You get to the bar in record timing. It must be last call, because the bar is pretty empty. Clint is arguing with the bartender because he cut him off. He’s slurring his words and can barely stand up straight. 

“Clint leave the poor man alone. Let’s go.” He turns his head too quickly at the sound of your voice and falls over landing on his ass and taking a few bar stools with him. The bartender looks relieved to see someone came to deal with Clint. “Hey you’re an Avenger too. You’re the one I called?”

“Ya sorry for being rude I was sleeping. Listen can we keep this little incident between us? Even Avengers have bad days. I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again.” He looks like he’s thinking it over. “Can I have an autograph for my niece? Then we can call it a deal.”

You give him a small smile. “No problem. And thank you.” You sign something he hands you and completely ignore Clint who is still laying on the dirty floor laughing. Once you finish with the bartender you turn your attention to Clint. “Get up. Let's go. Now!”

He fumbles around trying to pull himself up. “You’re so bossy you know that! I bet that crappy bartender that you wouldn’t come.” He finally stands up and leans against the counter. “Why would you say that Clint? I didn’t even hesitate to come get you. I took a bullet for you for crying out loud. You don’t think I’d pick you’re drunk ass up?”

“Nope. You’re too busy fucking Captain fucking America.” Instantly filled with rage you slap him across the face. “I don’t care if you’re drunk Clint. That doesn’t give you a free pass to talk to me that way.” The bartender is awkwardly watching the exchange between the two of you. Before Clint can blurt anything else out you grab him by the arm and start pulling him out of the bar. He’s holding his cheek with his free hand where you slapped him. It shut him up instantly. 

You wave to the bartender as you pull Clint out. “I really am sorry.”

Once you get Clint shoved into the passenger side of the car you lean against the door and take a deep breath to calm down. You feel awful for slapping him, but what he said was really fucking rude. Feeling slightly calmer you finally walk around the car and get in the driver side. Clint makes a sniffling sound. The seats in the car are bench seats. He slowly leans over until his head is on your leg, using it like a pillow. “I’m sorry (Y/N). I didn’t mean to say that. Please forgive me. I’m so sorry.”

Now your eyes are watering. He’s got your emotions all over the place in a matter of minutes. You put your right hand on his face. “I’m sorry for hitting you Clint. I didn’t mean to, but what you said was very hurtful.”

He sniffles some more and puts his hand on top of yours. “I know I’m sorry.” He says barely above a whisper. You let him keep a hold of your right hand as you drive back to the tower, and drive much slower this time. He managed to stay awake during the drive which you’re thankful for. Dragging an unconscious Clint would have been much more difficult. He puts his arm over your shoulder and you put yours around his waist to help him walk to the elevator. He keeps quiet the entire time. 

To get to his room you have to pass Natasha’s. She’s such a light sleeper you know she’s going to hear you in the hallway. Once you get to your floor you start heading towards his room, which feels odd going this way. You almost never use each other's doors, usually you just do your little short cut through the air vents.

Clint decides to start talking as you pass Nat’s room. “Hey (Y/N).” He slurs out. “Clint we’re almost to your room okay.” And like clockwork Nat opens her door and she just lifts her eyebrow at you. You shrug your one shoulder at her and shake your head. Because you have no clue what got into him either. She narrows her eyes at him and then goes back to her room. She’ll totally corner him when he’s hungover.

Finally you get Clint into his room. “Alright Clint off to bed with you.” He drops to the floor and wraps his arms around your legs. “Please don’t leave me (Y/N). Please stay.” It’s so hard to say no to him. You sigh and run your hand through his hair. Obviously something is going on with him. “Okay Clint, let’s get to bed. I’m tired.” He slurs out a thank you. And of course he wants to sleep in his loft which requires the use of a ladder. It’s a miracle he made it up his first try. 

You plop down on the mattress, he falls down next to you and lays his head on your chest and wraps his arms around you. He smells like stale beer, you wonder how long he’d been drinking. You sigh and wrap one arm around him and with the other you run your fingers through his hair, and rest your chin on top of his head. “Clint, sweetheart, what’s going on with you?”

“It hurts.” He whispers against your chest. “What hurts?” He lets out a deep sigh and you get a whiff of just straight liquor. “Even though you’ve never been mine. I’ve always had you to myself. Now I don’t even have that. Now I know how you feel and I hate it.”

“Oh Clint, you asshole. Now I can’t be mad at you for getting drunk. Because I went and did the same thing with Nat when I was upset about you.”

“But I’m your asshole, right?”

“Yes Clint, you’ll always be my asshole.” You can feel him smiling against your chest, and you can tell when his breathing evens out that he finally passed out. Why does this man have to make things so complicated for you? You love him to death but you can’t have him. So you try to move on and he has a melt down. 

Even though your emotions are all over the place you always sleep peacefully when you're with Clint no matter how you’re feeling. So you soon drift off to sleep with him.

When you wake in the late morning Clint is still wrapped up around you. Sometime during the night he moved so he’s laying behind you with his face against your neck. You try to wiggle away but he just squeezes you tighter. “(Y/N), how pissed are you?”

“I told you I can’t be mad at you, when I went out and did the same thing a few weeks ago. What you said to me at the bar wasn’t cool though, but I’m sorry for slapping you. I actually feel really bad about that.”

“It’s alright. I deserved it. I really am sorry. Thank you for dragging my ass home. I feel like fucking shit physically and mentally.” You roll over in his arms and lay your head on his chest. “Can you please promise me you won’t do that again? You’re lucky the bartender had enough sympathy to call me. Otherwise your mugshot would have been all over the news this morning.”

“I know. Yes I promise. And I’ll try harder. I know this isn’t fair to you.”

“Okay, that’s all I ask. Now you need a shower, you stink. And you rubbed your bar stink all over me so I need one too.” You lean up and kiss his cheek. He finally releases his hold on you. “Hey (Y/N) does anyone else know?”

“Steve heard the phone call when the bartender called and Nat saw me walking you down the hall when I brought you back.” He rolls his eyes and groans. “Fan-fucking-tastic. They’re both going to be up my ass about it.”

“Sorry handsome. I’ll at least have some coffee ready for you.” He gives you a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thank you darlin’. Not just for that, but everything. I feel like you’re letting me off too easy, but I won’t argue with you about it.” He leans up and kisses your cheek, like you had just done to him.

“I just understand how you’re feeling. No reason to punish you more.” You both just look at each other with sad smiles. 

After that you go back to your room to clean up, and get the bar smell off your skin. By the time you’re finally showered and dressed it’s almost 11:00. Which means you missed training, you were finally cleared to go back. Steve may be your boyfriend but he’s still going to chew you out for missing training.

You’re in the kitchen sitting on the counter drinking coffee when Tony, Sam, and Steve come wandering through. Sam leans against the counter. “Look who decided to finally grace us with her presence.” You just roll your eyes. Steve comes and stands in front of you and puts a hand on either side of you caging you in. “Everything alright doll?”

“Yes, sorry I know I’m in trouble for missing training.” He leans in and gives you a kiss. He doesn’t normally do PDA so it surprises you. Tony and Sam start making gagging sounds so you flip them off. Tony gives you a smug smile. “So is Barton still in a drunken coma?” 

You glare at Tony and then turn your head back to Steve. He can tell what you're thinking and starts shaking his head. “Relax Cap wouldn’t spill the beans so I watched the security cameras. You left Cap’s room in a hurry. Good job by the way on popping his cherry finally. Anyway you drove out of here in a hurry and a half hour later you were dragging Barton through the building. Wasn’t too hard to figure out.”

Steve’s face is turning pink, you’re not sure if it's from Tony’s comment or because everyone probably knows what you two were doing last night. But he doesn’t say anything. You on the other hand are annoyed with Tony. “Oh for fuck sake, do you have nothing better to do with your time?! You know one of these days Jarvis is going to record you doing something really fucking stupid and I can’t wait to share it when it happens.”

“Paybacks a bitch Stark.” You all turn when you hear Clint’s voice. You had a cup of coffee ready for him just like you promised so you slide it towards him. “Oh thank you, you’re the best.”

Tony and Sam start giving Clint a hard time. Steve turns his attention back to you. "I know the doctor cleared you but I can't let you back in the field if you don't go to training."

"I know. I didn't miss it on purpose. I can make it up now if you have time."

"Ya we can do that." He lifts you off the counter and you let out an embarrassing squeal. He chuckles and kisses you before setting you down. So of course the boys stop talking and look at you and Steve. 

Sam rolls his eyes. "You two are so disgustingly adorable." 

Tony nods his head. "Right? Makes me throw up in my mouth a little."

Once again you just flip them off. Then you look at Clint he's totally hung over, but you can tell he's trying to keep his face neutral. Steve ignores Sam and Tony. He looks at Clint. "Barton we're going to have a talk later."

Clint rolls his eyes. "Ya, ya whatever gramps." Then he walks away with his coffee.

  
  


Steve takes you to the training room. You're doing some warm up stretches. Steve sits on the floor with you. "So what happened with Barton last night, or this morning I should say?"

You shrug your shoulders. "He had a bad day I suppose and just drank too much. I chewed him out and made a deal with the bartender. I signed an autograph for his niece and he's going to forget he saw Clint."

"Well that's good I suppose. Still not acceptable, can't have Avenger's getting picked up for drunk and disorderly conduct."

"Yes, he's already expecting a lecture from both you and Nat. She saw me dragging him in last night." Thankfully, he drops the subject after that. You were worried he might press further on the topic, and you’re certainly not going to tell him that you were the reason for Clint’s binge drinking.

Steve decided on combat training again to make sure you can move around okay. You start whining. "I normally spare with Nat or Clint, or even Sam. Are you going to use your super soldier strength on me?"

"Hydra doesn't care. They are experimenting on people. So you never know who or what is going to come at you." He leans in close to you. "And I didn't hear any complaints about my super soldier strength last night."

You smack him on the shoulder. "You naughty boy. It's gonna be like that huh?" You're liking this hidden side of Steve that he’s letting you see. Well two can play this game.

After Steve knocks you down around the fifth or sixth time you decide to fight dirty. You take your shirt off leaving you in just a thin black tank top. You pull it down exposing more cleavage. When you get back into position his eyes go right to your chest. Using the distraction you knock his legs out from under him and jump on top of him as soon as he hits the ground.

He gives you a stunned look, and you smile at him mischievously. "My eyes are up here Steve."

"That's cheating." He says in a hilariously whiney voice. You decide to throw his words back at him. "Hydra doesn't care. What if they send super sexy spies after you. A little peek at some boobs and the great Captain America goes down."

He puts his hands on your hips and flips you over so he's on top of you. "I wouldn't be checking out super sexy spies, only my best girl." He gives you a cheeky smile and a quick kiss then he helps you up.

He starts you out in a different position. He's standing behind you and goes to put you in a headlock type maneuver. So you arch your back and rub you ass up against him. It's like his brain comes to a screeching halt. His hands changed direction and go to your hips and his lips to your neck.

"I don't think we can train alone together anymore doll." He breaths out against your neck.

"What's the matter Steve, can't focus?" He kisses along your neck and wraps his arms around you. "You win this time, but you fight dirty."

You turn around in his arms and give him a smug smile. He puts his hands on your thighs, lifting you up like you weigh nothing and pins you against the wall. So you wrap your legs around him, and your arms around his neck. He crashes his lips into yours and starts devouring your mouth as he grinds against you.

Suddenly Tony's voice comes through the intercom. "As much as we're enjoying the show, Cap you have a visitor."

You and Steve groan in unison. "He's like a pervy voyeur always watching the fucking cameras. Were you expecting someone?"

Steve shakes his head against your shoulder and mutters "fucking Tony" under his breath. "No, I'll go see who it is. We'll just have to pick this up later."

You whisper in his ear in case Tony or anyone is still listening. "I don't know Steve. I might have to go to my room now and finish it myself." He lets out another groan. "See you fight dirty. You're killing me." He gives you one more kiss and sets you down.

You tell Steve to head up without you so you can compose yourself and look presentable. When you go back to the main floor you hear Steve's voice so you follow the sound. Then you hear another voice that instantly pisses you off. You turn the corner and see Sharon Carter standing in front of Steve with her hand on his upper arm. She's giving him a stupid giggle as she flips her hair with her free hand.

Nat is close by and sees the look on your face and shrugs her shoulders when you look at her.

"Glupaya suka. YA sobirayus' snova udarit' yeye po litsu."

_(Stupid bitch. I'm going to punch her in the face again.)_

Nat smirks at you. "YA by zaplatil, chtoby uvidet' eto snova"

_(I'd pay to see it again.)_

Clint being the best friend that he is, comes and puts his arm around you. Then looks towards Sharon who has yet to acknowledge anyone else is in the room. “I thought I smelled a rat in the building. Should have known it was Agent 13.”

She slowly turns her head and rolls her eyes when she sees the two of you. “Hello to you too Barton.” She looks you up and down with distaste. “(L/N).” Steve is watching the three of you in confusion. Clint grabs your hand. “Come on (Y/N) lets go somewhere that’s vermin free.”

Clint leads you to the kitchen with him where he has a pizza on the counter. You chuckle when you see the pizza, but you give him a hug first. “Thank you. That could have gotten ugly quick.” He hugs you back and kisses the top of your head. “Anytime darlin’. I figured I’m already in trouble with Steve, why not add to the list. Plus I hate her as much as you do.” You nod your head towards the pizza. “I’m taking some of your hangover food, consider it payment for waking me up at 1 am.”

As you’re eating half of Clint’s pizza Steve comes in and crosses his arms over his chest. “What’s up with you two and Sharon?” Clint almost chokes on his pizza. “That’s a long list pal.” Steve doesn’t look amused at all. You put a hand on Clint’s shoulder to basically tell him to shut up. “Her and I started Shield at the same time. There’s a lot of reasons we hate each other. But the last time I saw her we had an argument about you and I punched her in the face.”

Clint slowly slips out of the room since Steve’s distracted by you. You immediately notice but don’t say anything. Steve’s frowning at you, looking more confused. “About me? I don’t understand.”

You sigh and lean against the counter. Steve moves to stand across from you. “Every agent I knew or spoke to turned down Fury’s assignment to surveil you. She’s the only one that agreed. She happily pretended to be your neighbor, spied on you, and bugged your apartment. No respectable agent would have taken an assignment like that. You’re a fucking war hero who deserved a little respect and privacy. When I found out she took the assignment I flipped out on her, the argument escalated quickly and ended with me giving her a bloody nose.”

Steve’s serious face turns to a smile and he shakes his head at you. “You’re so adorable when you get wound up.” He takes a couple steps towards you and pulls you to him, wrapping his arms around you. His chin is resting on top of your head. “I didn’t know you cared about me that much then. Thank you for caring. I was angry when I found out too, but I’ve moved past it. She was just here because she had some old files on Bucky she shared with me.”

He leans back so he can see your face and kisses you sweetly. He’s smiling at you when he pulls away. Then he looks around. “Hey where did Barton go?”

You chuckle at him. “He snuck out a long time ago. He’s avoiding your dad lecture by any means possible.”

Steve takes off like a man on a mission to find Clint. Clint comes back through the opposite door and goes back to eating his pizza like nothing happened. The two of you just look at each other and start laughing. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter with a lot going on.

CHAPTER 13

  
  


It’s been a couple weeks since Clint’s late night bar incident. The two of you have gone back to normal as much as possible. You can still see the sadness in his eyes, but he's been doing his best to be happy for you. He's been spending more time at home than at the tower again. Which is probably a good thing, but you still miss him.

  
  


It’s late in the night and you wake with a start. You jolt upright in bed feeling like you can’t breath. There’s a fine sheen of sweat covering your body and you start gasping as you try to catch your breath. Another nightmare strikes again. You climb out of bed and go put dry clothes on. Clint isn’t in the tower, but he’ll be here in the morning. So you debate on whether to go to the kitchen or go to Steve’s room. He gave you his passcode around the same time you shared yours with him to show he trusted you too.

Steve helped you that one night he found you up wallowing in the dark with a tub of ice cream after a nightmare. With your mind made up you tiptoe down the hallway and quietly enter Steve’s room. You try to shut the door without making a sound but when you turn around your trip over something, making a loud noise. Suddenly the light on the nightstand flips on and Steve’s sitting up in bed looking alarmed and half asleep. “(Y/N)? What are you doing?”

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. I just…..well I had a nightmare.” Steve immediately understands and pulls the blanket back and opens his arms. Without hesitation you run across the room and jump into bed with him. He turns the light back off and pulls you to him with your back against his chest. Then wraps his big strong arms around you, and whispers against your neck which tickles your skin. “You wanna talk about it?”

"No not yet. Maybe one day." You whisper quietly. He kisses your neck and holds you a little tighter. "It's alright doll, I understand." Shortly after that you both fall back to sleep.

When you wake in the morning you can feel Steve's erection pressing into your ass. You wouldn't mind some morning sex, so you press your ass harder against him to see if you can get a reaction.

He lets out a small moan. You're only wearing a tank top and underwear. He has an arm around your middle, so he slides his hand down a little lower on your belly. “Need something doll?” You don’t say anything, you just push your ass back against him again. He gets the hint and slips his hand into your underwear and slides two fingers through your already soaking wet folds. Now it's your turn to moan. Steve kisses the back of your neck and smiles. “Someone’s eager this morning. You’re already wet and I barely even touched you.”

“Please Steve.” You whimper out. He seems just as eager as you. He slips your underwear off and lifts one of your legs over his hip and can feel him pressing against your entrance. You did away with condoms a while ago once you got on birth control. He pushes his hard length inside, feeling yourself stretching around his large size, and you both moan once he’s fully sheathed inside you. He sets a quick and steady pace thrusting in and out of you. 

“Doll you feel so fucking good.” He breaths against your neck. “So good baby, so good. I wanna feel your huge cock come inside me.” He growls and bites your shoulder making you cry out. It’s a pleasurable pain. 

Both of you seem to know this isn’t going to last very long. He continues his hard thrusts as he reaches between your thighs and starts relentlessly rubbing your clit. “Oh god Steve please don’t stop baby.”

The combination of hard thrusts and him rubbing your throbbing clit has you on edge quickly. “I’m gonna come baby. Come with me, fill me up with your come.” He bites your shoulder again and you cry out, almost screaming as you come. His breathing becomes erratic and his thrusts sloppy and he comes inside you as you're still coming down from your high.

His face is buried in your neck and shoulder. He gently kisses the two spots where he bit you. “I didn’t hurt you did I? Was that okay?” He’s so adorable. He’ll go from a dirty talking naughty Captain to a sweet gentleman within seconds. “It was good. I liked it. So stop worrying.”

He kisses your shoulder a couple more times. “This was a nice way to wake up. Did you sleep alright?” He slowly pulls out of you and gently puts your leg back down. It was getting stiff being over his hip for so long. 

“Sure was. Sure did. Sorry again for freaking you out.”

“It’s alright doll. I’m glad you chose me over a tub of ice cream.” He kisses your face all over a few times being silly, making you giggle embarrassingly. “I’d love to stay in bed with you all day doll, but we should probably get up.” You groan and make a pouty face, but you know he’s right.

You go back to your room to shower and change. As you’re getting dressed Jarvis’s voice comes through the intercom. “Ms (L/N), you are needed in the conference room, the team is waiting.” Crap, you hate being the last one in the room. “Okay Jarvis, tell them I’m on my way.” 

You quickly finish dressing and take off almost running down the hallway. There’s lots of chattering coming from the conference room. Everyone is already there, and also someone you weren’t expecting. Sharon Carter…..again. Clint was waiting for you by the door, he knew you would have a murderous look in your eye. He loops his arm through yours and pulls you around the table as you glare daggers at Sharon who is once again flirting with Steve. He sits you down in a chair next to him and across from Steve and Sharon.

Everyone is involved in some sort of conversation so they don’t notice you walk in or your intense glaring. Clint whispers in your ear. “Down girl. Too many witnesses.” You huff and cross your arms over your chest. Clint just chuckles at you. Which you ignore because you’re trying to tune into what she’s saying to Steve.

She puts her hand on his arm and gives him a flirty smile. “We should have lunch again soon, that was fun.” When the fuck did he go out with her? Has he even told her you’re dating? You’re too busy yelling inside your head to hear what Steve’s reply was. 

Now, you don’t care if he has chick friends, most of your friends are guys so that would be hypocritical. But Sharon just rubs you the wrong way.

Back when you were Shield agents she was jealous when Clint chose to train you on his own. She said you were nothing special and Clint would see that too. She was jealous when you were chosen to join the Avengers. She said you must have whored yourself out to manage that. She’s tried sabotaging you and has been spreading rumors about you for years. Did you once stoop to her level and retaliate, no you did not. 

But when you found out she was spying on Steve everything just came to a head. Every shitty thing she had ever said or done flooded your mind as you were arguing with her and you just punched her as hard as you could in her stupid face. Felt pretty good actually. Nat and Clint who witnessed the entire encounter high fived you. 

“(Y/N)? Earth to (Y/N)!” You shake your head to clear your mind. Sam’s hand is inches from your face. “Huh?” He shakes his head at you. “I said if you stare any harder maybe she’ll burst into flames.” Without missing a beat you say. “Well I guess I better stare harder then.”

Clint just pats you on the leg. Steve is giving you a questioning look. But you just turn your head away from him and focus on anything or anyone but him. 

Tony stands at the front of the room. “Okay people, listen up. We might finally have a location on Loki’s scepter. We think we found Baron Strucker’s Hydra base, and he’s been dabbling in human experimentation. Possibly by using the scepter.” That finally catches your attention. Clint grasps your hand under the table and squeezes it. You both want that damn scepter found badly. Sharon gets up and stands next to Tony. After Shield fell she got a job at the CIA, which you were actually happy about. Kept her out of your hair. 

She’s here because she has some satellite images to share. She goes over the images of what they think is a Hydra base in Sokovia. Tony starts talking about technical stuff like strong electrical fields and abnormalities which is why they think the scepter may be there. You tune out Tony’s technical babbling. You just want to get on the Quinjet and go find that fucking scepter already. 

Fucking finally Steve tells everyone to suit up and be on the jet in 10 minutes. He looks to you but walks toward Sharon. She’s got her hands all over him again once he’s close enough. So you say fuck it and take off on your own to go get ready. 

Clint catches up to you as you’re walking towards the Quinjet. He knows you're pissed so he just puts his arm around you without saying anything. You appreciate every little thing he does for you, so you give him a small smile.

Once you’re loaded onto the jet you sit facing Clint and prop your legs up in his lap. Doing everything possible to ignore Steve. You have a mission to focus on, not squabble with your boyfriend over something stupid. 

Thor sits across from you. “Are you alright Lady (Y/N)?” You know he’s referring to the situation with the scepter. He knows how you and Clint feel about the scepter being in the hands of Hydra. He’s apologized to you on multiple occasions for what Loki did. Which you told him you appreciate the gesture, but he shouldn’t be apologizing for his brother’s crimes. 

“I’m fine Thor, thank you for asking. I’ll just be glad when we finally find the damn thing.” He nods his head. “Yes as will I. And Barton, are you well also?” Clint nods his head and gives him a thumbs up. “Just like she said. I’ll be glad when that thing is back on your planet and not mine.”

Steve is up towards the front of the jet talking with Bruce and Tony. Natasha is sitting closely next to Bruce which you find adorable. They should just kiss already, and stop playing hard to get with each other. 

Clint decides to start signing to you. He taps you on the foot to get your attention. 

_C: Are you actually alright?_

_Y: Sort of. You?_

_C: Same. How much trouble is your boyfriend in?_

_Y: Not sure yet. I don’t think he told her we’re dating._

_C: Then he’s a dumbass. Want me to kick his ass?_

_Y: No but thank you. I can do it myself._

Steve stopped talking with Tony and started watching you. He sees the frown on your face, and you and Clint signing back and forth to each other. It doesn’t look like your normal playful conversations. He nudges Natasha. “What are they talking about now?” Nat watches you and Clint and keeps her face neutral. She knows you’re pissed about Sharon too. She looks at Steve. “You’re going to have to ask her that question yourself Cap.” Steve hangs his head as Tony starts laughing at him. “Trouble in paradise already. What did the golden boy do wrong?” Steve just shrugs his shoulders with a confused look on his face.

  
  


Steve decided to let you and Clint stay together for this mission. Which you were thankful for. You and Clint are standing in the back of a jeep as Nat drives. You’re in Sokovia headed towards the Hydra base, but their soldiers are quickly coming through the forest shooting at you from all directions. So you and Clint are firing arrow after arrow, taking out as many as you can. The ground and trees are covered in snow. Nat ends up losing control of the jeep and the three of you jump out before it crashes. You and Clint take off in one direction. Nat takes off with Bruce who is actually Hulk at the moment in another direction. 

Clint and you are hiding behind trees just a few feet from each other. Clint goes to shoot at a hidden bunker to blow it up. But something moves so fast you can’t see it and knocks Clint over. You call out to the team in your comm. “I think there’s an enhanced out here guys. It moves fast, like a blur, and knocked Clint over before we even knew they were here.”

You hear Steve’s voice on the comms. _“Copy that, do not engage with the enhanced.”_

Clint rolls over and starts to pick himself up off the ground. You move from behind the tree, take aim at the bunker and shoot but the blur ran past you again knocking your arrow out of the way. As you’re looking around for the enhanced individual you don’t see the bunker now has a weapon on top pointed at you. Clint jumps, shoving you out of the way and he gets hit in the side falling back to the ground again. “Clint!” You crawl over to Clint even as the bunker is still firing. “Clint’s hit. Will someone deal with that fucking bunker already!” Hulk comes barreling through the trees and smashes straight through the bunker. “Thank you.”

You look over Clint’s wound, whatever they shot him with burned straight through his jacket and protective vest. It’s a wide open wound, his skin is badly burned at bleeding. “Clint’s hit bad. He needs an evac now.” You put pressure on the wound with one hand and Clint groans out in pain. With your free hand you hold one of his. “Were you trying to one up me for taking a bullet for you?” He lets out a grunt. “Ya something like that.”

“Stay with me handsome. Focus on me.” He opens his eyes and you can tell he’s in terrible pain but he still manages a smile when he looks into your eyes. Suddenly Thor drops down next to you. “Worry not Lady (Y/N). I will get Barton back to the jet.”

“He needs first aid now. I need to go with him.” Thor looks at you thoughtfully. “I will take Barton first and then come right back for you.”

Thor true to his word gets both of you back to the jet. When you were in Shield you were taught some basic first aid, for in case of emergency situations so you can hold out until help arrives. You give him something for the pain and bandage the wound good enough to control the bleeding until you get back to the tower. Tony already had Jarvis contact Dr. Cho. He’s going to need the same treatment you did for your shoulder.

Clint can see how stressed and worried you are. “(Y/N), look at me.” He puts his hand on your cheek. “I’m alright darlin’. I won’t go out that easy, and plus I got you here to keep me together.” Tears start streaming down your face. “Clint, you asshole. Don’t scare me like that. Are we even now?”

“I suppose we’re even for now, until the next time one of us gets shot at. Then I’ll do it again, because I’m your asshole.”

You sit down in the chair next to the table he’s laying on and lay your head on his arm. “Ya you’re my asshole, and you’re not allowed to die. I need you too much.” He smiles and runs his free hand through your hair. “I need you too darlin’.”

When the team loads back up in the jet you see Tony carrying Loki’s scepter. Clint sees it too and you squeeze each other’s hands. Nat comes and checks Clint out, while also trying to distract the two of you from the scepter. “You doing okay pal? Gave us a scare.”

He gives her a small smile and a thumbs up. “Got my own personal nurse. I’m doing good.” Nat glares at him. “If you weren’t already hurt I’d hit you upside the head.” 

Steve appears next to Nat to check on the two of you. “What happened exactly?” He says using his Captain voice. You suppress the urge to roll your eyes. “The blur dude knocked Clint over as he was firing at the bunker. So I went to take my shot and the fucker blocked my arrow. I was looking around for him and the bunker pointed a weapon at me. Clint knocked me out of the way and took the hit that was meant for me.”

“So this was preventable. You just weren’t paying attention.” You can feel your blood pressure rising. You’re already irritated with Steve, and you’re all wound up about Clint. So you are not in the mood for his Captain perfect bullshit. “How about, gee thanks Clint for taking a nasty hit for my girlfriend. Glad you're okay though buddy. Nice work.” You say all of this in a voice meant to imitate his. Tony and Sam are snickering somewhere behind you. 

Steve gives you a surprised look. “We will talk about this more later.” Then he changes the subject like nothing happened. Him and Nat give you a recap of what you missed. Which you don’t particularly care about. You only care that the scepter was found and that Clint is okay. Basically the entire facility was taken down. Strucker was apprehended. There were two enhanced, a man and a woman, but they got away. Maria Hill was able to identify them as twins, Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. All in all it was a successful mission except for what happened to Clint.

The entire trip home you stay right by Clint. Steve gives you a few looks like he wants to talk to you, but you refuse to leave Clint’s side. And you also don’t feel like arguing with Steve right now. 

As soon as the Quinjet lands Dr. Cho is there and you follow right along at Clint’s side and help wheel him down to the lab. He keeps his eyes on you trying to convey how he’s feeling. You know he’s scared and in pain, but he’s also thankful to have you with him.

Steve watches you walk away with Dr. Cho, following Clint inside. He looks at Natasha and she just shakes her head at him. “Don’t even try Steve. Wait until Clint’s fixed up before you attempt to talk to her. Because you’ll get nowhere with her before that.” Steve sighs and nods his head in understanding.

You're sitting with Clint as he lays in Dr. Cho's tissue regeneration machine. "I'm going to be made of plastic." He says sarcastically. "No you're not. You know that's not how it works. Does my shoulder feel plastic to you?"

"No, but my hole is way bigger than yours was. Oh, that sounded dirty didn't it?" That makes you burst into laughter and so does he. "Oh thank you Clint. I needed a good laugh." 

You run your fingers through his hair a couple times. "Thanks for saving me. Are you going to call Laura and tell her about this?"

He lets out a heavy sigh. "I don't know. I haven't decided."

"Well she'll have a new reason to hate me to add to her list." Clint puts his hand on top of yours. "This isn't your fault. We both know shit happens. Okay?"

You nod your head. "Ya, okay. Are you staying till the party Saturday or are you going home?"

Tony is using Thor as an excuse to have a party. He says it's a farewell party because Thor's going back to Asgard with the scepter and was going to stay there a while.

Clint gives you a small smile. "I already planned on staying here with you and see with my own eyes that fucking scepter is gone." Clint looks past you for a second, through the glass window behind you. Then rolls his eyes. "Steve’s watching from out there. How long are you going to avoid him? He looks like a pathetic sad kicked puppy."

Now it's your turn to roll your eyes. "As long as I damn well please. Not in the mood to argue just yet."

It feels like forever but Clint's finally patched up and able to get out of the machine. He jumps up and starts moving around. "This is amazing, good as new. I guess you can't tell the difference."

Right now it's only you and Clint left in the lab. You rub your hand across his bare stomach several times. "Copping a feel are ya?" He says with a big grin on his face.

"No. I can feel the difference." Clint grabs your hand that’s not touching him and goes to say something but his phone starts vibrating. He sighs and pulls it out of his pocket. You already know it’s Laura. Clint gives you a pleading look. “It’s alright, answer the phone. I’m just going to head to bed anyway now that I know you're okay.” He just nods his head at you before you turn and walk away.

You sneak your way through the tower to avoid Steve. Yes it’s probably very childish but you’re physically and mentally exhausted and just want to go to sleep. Since Steve’s room is down the same hallway as yours you go through Clint’s room and climb through the air vent to get to yours. After a long hot shower you face plant on the bed and fall asleep within seconds.

When you wake again it’s the middle of the night. You’re once again covered in sweat, breathing heavily and there are tears streaming down your face. Out of all the recurring nightmares you have that’s the worst one. It’s one where Loki makes you shoot Clint. It always feels so real. There’s still tears streaming down your face and your body is shaking. You don’t go to Steve’s room tonight, you go to Clint’s. You need to see him with your own eyes to know he’s okay and that it was just a nightmare.

You quickly make your way into Clint’s room and drop down into his loft. He doesn’t even get a chance to fully open his eyes or say anything before you wrap yourself around him burying your face in his chest, and continue crying since you never really stopped. He wraps his arms around you and rubs his hands up and down your back. He doesn’t even need to ask, he knows what nightmare you had. He has a similar one himself about you that haunts him.

“It’s alright (Y/N) I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” You squeeze him tighter and the tears just keep falling. “I love you so much Clint.” He kisses the top of your head and squeezes you back. “I love you too darlin’.”

Eventually you cry yourself to sleep but you don’t release your grip on him the entire night.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve has had enough of being avoided.

CHAPTER 14

  
  


It’s hours before the party Tony is hosting. Steve is still making everyone train today. Even after everything that happened yesterday. Part of you feels like he’s trying to punish you for avoiding him. You’re still mentally and physically exhausted from yesterday, plus that nightmare really did a number on you. This morning you snuck back into your room to shower and change then went back to Clint’s to avoid any possible chance of running into Steve. You told Jarvis you didn’t want any visitors or to be disturbed.

You train with Nat for a little while. She gives you a knowing look. “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually you know.” You roll your eyes. “Yes, but I’m going to prolong the inevitable for as long as possible.” She huffs in annoyance at you. “You’re just as bad a Clint. He’s rubbed off too many of his bad habits on you.”

Clint, who was standing nearby, holds his hand to his chest like he’s wounded. “How dare you. I have no such bad habits. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Nat scoffs at him. “You’re so full of shit Barton.”

“Language!” Steve yells across the room. You can’t believe he’s going to pull that language shit again after all the filth you’ve heard come out of his mouth. He’s driving you nuts, he’s been harping on every little thing since the training session started. You turn towards Steve in annoyance. “Are you fucking serious Steve?!”

Those are the first words you’ve said to him since he pissed you off on the trip back home. He raises his eyebrows. “Oh now you’re going to acknowledge my existence?”

“Only because you’re being ridiculous.” Sam and Clint start snickering behind you. Nat slaps Clint upside the head and everyone slowly backs out of the room leaving you and Steve alone since they can see the argument brewing. 

Steve moves closer and stands in front of you with his arms crossed. “Maybe if you would talk to me I wouldn’t be ridiculous.” You mimic his position and cross your arms. “Fine. What would you like to talk about?”

He looks at you incedulously. “Seriously? How about you start with why you’re so angry in the first place. You’ve been pissed off since yesterday morning.”

“Well there’s several reasons on my list now. You just kept adding to my already foul mood.” Steve walks away and you’re about to be petty and yell at him for walking away. But he grabs two chairs, setting one next to you and then sitting down in the other. “I’m all ears.” He says as he sits down and looks at you expectantly. 

You narrow your eyes at him and slowly sit down. You just stare at him for a moment as you think where to start. “Does Sharon Carter know we’re dating?” He looks a bit taken back by your question. “Is that what this is about? You’re jealous or something?”

“No that’s not it. If she doesn’t know that just means she desperately wants to fuck you. If she does know then she’s being extra fucking cunty to me and still desperately wants to fuck you. Now answer my question.”

“No she doesn’t know.” He goes to say more but you cut him off. “When did you go out with her? For lunch or some shit.” Steve sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “The last time I saw Peggy she was there. We went somewhere around the corner and had lunch, wasn’t anything special.”

You give him a humorless laugh. “My hatred for her aside, I’m going to tell you what I see now that I have those couple facts. She clearly wants you, she practically throws herself at you. Both times I’ve seen you with her she’s had her hands all over you and you didn’t do a damn thing. You don’t tell her we’re dating and you go out for lunch dates. You are either incredibly naive or you’re leading her on. Or is there a third option; like maybe you have a thing for her?”

Steve reaches for you but you slide your chair away further. “Doll that’s not true, but I can understand why you would think that. I didn’t tell her because it honestly didn’t come up, and my personal life isn’t any of her business. I only had lunch with her because she offered some of her connections to help me find Bucky. We talked about Bucky the entire time. As for her being all over me as you say, that’s completely my bad. I’m still naive when it comes to women obviously. I couldn’t even figure out why my girlfriend was so mad at me. The next time I see her I’ll tell her, I promise.”

You stay quiet and just look into his eyes. He’s either a really good liar or he’s as sincere as he sounds and looks. “Let’s say I believe you, explain why if you knew there was something wrong did you go to Sharon instead of me when the meeting was over?”

He takes a deep breath. “Well we were supposed to be on the jet in 10 minutes. I assumed we were going to need longer than that. And I was trying to be polite and say goodbye to her. In retrospect I see that it was a poor choice. Can you give me a little leeway here? You’re technically my first real girlfriend. This is new territory for me.”

“Okay fine, fair enough.”

“Have I done anything else horribly wrong in the last 24 hours?” He says only half jokingly. You cross your arms over your chest again. “Ya actually, instead of seeing if your teammate is alright you get right down to seeing who’s to blame. Then you blame me when I was trying to watch our backs for the enhanced dude running around. He could have just as easily shot at either of us. I had no idea if he was armed or not.”

He switches from boyfriend mode to Captain mode in seconds. “I already knew Clint was fine. And you should have kept your eye on the first target so you are at fault.” You stand up from the chair so fast you knock it over. “Are you fucking serious! So I’m supposed to just let some Hydra experiment run circles around us? He was more dangerous than the bunker!”

Steve’s now raising his voice because you’re full on yelling at him. “The bunker that shot at you because you weren’t paying attention! Which led to Clint getting injured.” 

He has you all wound up again and you aren’t going to back down. “That’s bullshit! What the fuck is you’re real problem?!” 

“I don’t want to lose you!” He screams those words at you. He takes a deep breath to calm himself as you process what he just said. He takes a step closer to you. “(Y/N), I just finally got you, and I’m afraid of losing you. I’ve lost everyone that ever meant anything to me. It scared me because if it wasn’t for Clint you would have been badly hurt, or worse.”

“Oh Steve.” You take the couple steps it takes to get to him and throw your arms around his neck and crash your lips into his. He lifts you up by your thighs and you instantly wrap your legs around him. He walks until your back hits the wall pinning you between him and the wall. He slips his tongue into your mouth and moans as you move your hips against him. When he breaks the kiss you’re both panting. 

You run your fingers through his hair. “There’s cameras in here baby. Tony’s probably watching right now.” Steve gives you a mischievous smile and carries you around the corner where there is a storage closet. He shoves the door open, walks inside and kicks it shut behind him. Then he turns the light switch on and pins you back against the wall. “No cameras in here doll.” He kisses and bites along your neck. “Can I show you how sorry I am?” He says as he’s nipping your skin.

“Definitely” You say, sounding short of breath. He sets you down for a moment so you can slide your pants off. He pulls his shirt off and then yours. He lifts you back up by your thighs and kisses you. “Slide those panties to the side doll.” You do as he asks and he frees himself from his sweatpants and slides into you with one quick motion. Both of you moan once he’s fully inside you. Then he buries his face in your neck and begins thrusting in and out of you hard and fast. No easing into it, he’s being rough but you like it.

You scratch your nails down his back and bite his shoulder like he had done to you yesterday. That seems to excite him more as he moans and pounds into you impossibly harder. “Who do you belong to Steve?” You suck a mark into his neck marking him as yours. “All yours baby. I’m all yours.

He adjusts his grip on your thighs and changes the angle of your hips hitting the right spot. Your eyes roll back as you moan out his name. He sucks a mark on the junction between your neck and your shoulder. “You feel so fucking good doll. I’m gonna mark you on the inside as mine too.” 

You can feel yourself on the edge as he keeps hitting that perfect spot. “I’m gonna come baby.” You gasp out. After a few more hard deep thrusts your crying out as your orgasm hits you. You clench and tighten around him, his hips stutters so you know he’s close. You bite down hard on his shoulder he gasps and moans out your name as he comes inside you.

He rests his forehead against your shoulder and gently kisses your bitten and marked skin. “Am I forgiven doll?” That gets a smile out of you. You put your hand under his chin to tilt his head up. When he does he looks into your eyes. You smile at him and kiss him gently. “You’re forgiven. And I’m sorry too. For avoiding you and then yelling at you.” That brings a smile to his face. “So we’re okay? You’re still my best girl?”

You lean in and kiss him again. “Yes to both.” He slowly pulls out of you and gently sets you on the ground. He puts both of his hands on your face and smiles and gives you one more kiss. As you both start putting your clothes back on you can see just how marked up you both are. Even with the serum Steve doesn’t heal instantly, he just heals faster. So those marks are definitely going to be there for the party. “Tony’s going to have a hayday if he sees these hickies.” You say sounding already annoyed.

Steve chuckles at you. “I guess we got a little carried away. Let's try to sneak upstairs and see what we can cover up.”

  
  


It was much easier for Steve to cover up. All he had to do was put on a long sleeve button up shirt with a collar. Thankfully the marks he put on you are mostly on your shoulder and the bottom of your neck. So you found a nice blouse and skirt to wear. Steve had wanted you to wear the dress you had worn on the mission when you pretended to be Clint’s wife. But once he got a good look at his handy work he agreed with your wardrobe choice. 

The party is like any other party that Tony throws. Lots of people and lots of liquor. The team teased both of you for having your first couple fight. Tony couldn’t see around the corner on the camera so no one knows you and Steve worked out your frustrations in the supply closet. But Nat commented on your outfit for the evening and gave you a smirk letting you know she wasn’t fooled. Clint asked if you beat Steve into shape, and in a way you sort of did?

When the party finally winds down it's just the team minus Sam. He left early to go follow up on some leads Steve had on Bucky and won’t be back for a couple days. In addition to the team there is Rhodey, Maria, and Dr. Cho. You’re all sitting in a room spread out on various couches. You went to go sit with Clint because that’s normal for you. But you see Steve watching you with hopeful eyes. You give Clint an apologetic look with your eyes and go sit down next to Steve. He gives you a bright smile, puts his arm around you and kisses your cheek. When you look at Clint he nods his head once at you letting you know he understands.

Tony lets out an exaggerated sigh. “You guys are back to being disgusting already. I thought maybe your little lover’s quarrel would give us all a break.” You know he’s just teasing, but you flip him off any way. 

Somehow the topic changes to Thor’s hammer that happens to be sitting on the table. Clint is insisting it’s a trick that only Thor can pick it up. He says in a hilariously deep voice “Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power. Whatever man, come on it’s a trick.” 

Thor gestures to his hammer. “Please, be my guest.” Clint looks surprised but gets up off the couch and over-confidently struts over to the hammer. He goes to pick it up, and of course nothing happens. Doesn’t even move a hair from its place on the table. After that all the boys decide to give it a try. Nat, Maria, and you declined to join their chest puffing contest and just sat back and laughed at all of them. Just like with Clint nothing happens, even when Tony tries using parts from his suit.

Steve goes last and you see it move just a fraction and you know you’re not crazy because Thor’s eyes go wide as he stares at the hammer. No one else seemed to notice besides the two of you though. Then the boys start arguing about how Thor does it. He just laughs and tells them it's because they're not worthy. 

Suddenly there’s a loud screeching sound and one of Tony’s Iron Legion robots that is badly damaged and missing parts comes into the room. It gives spheal how none of you are worthy and its on a mission for peace in our time that can only be accomplished by the extinction of the Avengers. You hear Bruce say Ultron, but you have no clue what that means. 

Everything happens so quickly you don’t have time to take in or comprehend what’s happening. The room is surrounded by more of Tony’s robots and they start attacking all of you. You’re practically frozen in place as you watch one of the robots grab Loki’s scepter and fly off. Steve jumped on the back of one, which left you standing alone. There’s two coming at you but you can’t move, you feel like your hearts beating out of your chest. Clint runs to you, wraps you up in his arms and pulls you under a table with him. 

“Clint, the scepter.” You start feeling like you can’t breathe, on the verge of a panic attack. Clint holds you tightly against his chest. “I know darlin’, I know. Stay with though, okay? I need you to breathe.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not going to go through the events of the Ultron movie play by play, only some parts that are pertinent to this story.
> 
> I'm not entirely happy with how this chapter turned out but there were things I couldn't just leave out from the movie because things wouldn't make sense.

CHAPTER 15

  
  


The robots were all destroyed except for the one that took off with the scepter. Everyone checks around to make sure there aren’t anymore. Steve finds you being held in Clint’s arms as he’s still helping you through your panic attack. It’s been a long time since you had one. Only Clint and Nat have witnessed it and know about it. “Breathe with me darlin’. Slow deep breath. We’re okay, you’re safe. We found it once, we’ll find it again.”

Steve kneels down on the floor and looks at Clint in confusion. “The scepter is gone Cap.” He finally nods his head in understanding. You eventually get your breathing under control and move your face out of Clint’s chest. He puts both hands on your face and wipes your tears away. He gives you a small smile. “There you are. You alright?” You nod your head and give him a tight hug and whisper “thank you” in his ear.

When you release Clint and turn around you see Steve kneeling on the floor watching. He opens his arms and you crawl over to him. He scoops you up and lifts you off the ground setting you on a countertop. He holds your face in his hands. “I’m so sorry doll. I knew you still had nightmares. But I didn’t realize that scepter scares you that badly. Are you alright?”

You take a deep breath before answering him. “I am for now.” Steve kisses your forehead and wraps his arms around you. 

After that everyone regroups. Tony and Bruce confess to using the power of the stone inside the scepter to create an A.I. robot for a peacekeeping program they created. They called in Ultron. Obviously it turned out badly. It even attacked and destroyed Jarvis.

Thor storms across the room, lifts Tony up by his neck, and then drops him. “Now we have to retrieve the scepter again. This could have all been avoided if you hadn’t played with something you don’t understand.”

Tony gets in Thor’s face. “No you don’t understand why we need this, need Ultron.” 

As Tony goes off on some bullshit excuse you feel your blood pressure and anxiety rising. “SHUT THE FUCK UP TONY! For once in your god damn life shut your fucking mouth! You should listen to Thor. You messed with something you clearly don’t fucking understand. You don’t know what it’s capable of. Everyone thinks that because Clint and me don’t talk about it that we’re fine. Loki used that fucking scepter on us. Do you want to know what he made us do with the power of that thing?! He lined up Shield agents, a dozen for each of us. We shot them in the head and point blank range. We had to watch the light go out in their eyes, each and every time. Then just for fucking shits and giggles he had us holding guns to each other’s heads. Everyone knows Clint would be the last person on earth I would hurt and I couldn’t pull the gun away. I had zero control. Then the rest of you would have been next on the Helicarrier if Nat hadn’t stopped us. Loki was a living breathing person and he did that, what do you think a fucking A.I. robot with no conscience is going to do? So fuck you Tony and fuck you Bruce for helping him!”

You storm away with a heavy flow of tears streaming down your face. Clint quietly follows you to your room. Once you slam the door shut you look at him. He has tears going down his face too. “I’m sorry for telling them. But they needed to understand.” He shakes his head at you. “It’s okay, I know you’re right. Just hearing it out loud hurts all over again.” You grab his hand and pull him over to your bed and lay down together. You lay there together just holding each other.

After a while Clint breaks the silence. “I think you put the fear of god into Tony. I don’t think anyone has ever told him to shut up the way you did. High five for that by the way.” That gets a small laugh out of you and you lift your hand so he can actually high five you. “Are you okay Clint?” He squeezes you a little tighter. “As okay as I can be. I’m glad you told them, because I don’t think I could have done it.”

“I feel kind of bad for telling Bruce to fuck off because he’s like one of the nicest guys. But he needs to stop giving into Tony.” Clint chuckles. “Ya he looked pretty scared when you yelled at him.” 

The two of you drift off to sleep for a while until a knock at your door wakes you. Clint sighs and runs his hand through your hair. “That’s probably Steve. I should go so you can talk to him.” You hold onto Clint so he can’t get up. “What about you? I’m not just going to throw you out because of Steve. Are you actually okay?”

He kisses your forehead. “I’m alright. I’ll go talk to Nat and see what they’ve come up with. I know Steve’s worried about you. You should have seen his face when you were having a panic attack. He really cares about you.” You relent and release your hold on Clint and sit up. He puts his hand on your cheek and gives you a sad smile. “I’ll always care about you more though.” Then he kisses your cheek and gets up and walks to your door letting Steve in. 

You hear them talking quietly for a moment and then Steve walks over to your bed and sits next to you. He doesn’t say anything he just wraps his arms around you and pulls you down so that you're laying on his chest.

“I’m sorry you went through that doll. You’re right everyone just assumed you and Clint were alright, me included. I had no idea it was that bad.” You reach for one of his hands and lace your fingers together. “Fury kept the details out of the official Shield report. He didn’t want the families to blame us. Some nights it’s the Shield agents in my nightmares. Sometimes it’s Clint or you, or even the whole team. You were supposed to be my first target when I got on the Helicarrier, Tony was Clint’s. Luckily Nat got to both of us first.”

Steve runs his free hand up and down your back and gently squeezes the hand you're holding. “Almost every night I have a nightmare that plays in a loop. I watch Bucky fall from the train. As he was falling I could see the fear in his eyes and he was calling my name over and over. He even still had his hand out like he was trying to reach for me. Sometimes the nightmare changes and it’s me shoving him off the train. But it's the look in his eyes that still haunts me. I know I can’t possibly understand what you and Clint went through. But like I told you before I can understand the nightmares and having your past haunt your dreams. We’ll find the scepter again, I promise.”

You lift your head off his chest and lean up to capture his lips for a kiss. It’s a slow but meaningful kiss. When you break the kiss you look into his beautiful blue eyes. “Thank you Steve. Not just for being understanding, but also for telling me about your nightmares. I know it's not easy.”

  
  


Eventually you and Steve rejoin the rest of the team to see if they’ve come up with anything. As soon as Bruce sees you he gives you a hug and apologizes. You apologize for yelling at him, he’s so nice it’s hard to stay angry at him. After that Tony gives you a long hug and quietly apologizes so only you can hear him. You’re still angry about what he did, but it’s a step in the right direction. 

Ultron is in the internet and can access anything with internet connection. He completely cleared out all of the files that were saved on Strucker. Nat thinks he was trying to hide something. So the team goes through paper files of known associates. Tony found a lead on a guy that works off the coast of Africa in an old shipyard. He apparently stole an abundance of Vibranium from Wakanda. 

So the team loaded up in the Quinjet. Once you arrived everything went horribly wrong. Ultron was there, he upgraded himself to a much larger robot, and created many extra robots like the ones from Tony’s iron legion. But he also has the Maximoff twins working with him. It ended up being a huge fight until the Maximoff girl, Wanda took out most of the team. She has mind control abilities and has a knack for making you see your worst fears or memories. Ultron escaped so Tony flew out of the ship hot on his tail. Wanda got to Nat, Thor, and Steve. She tried getting to you and Clint but the two of you will be damned before you have someone try messing with your minds again. Clint electrocuted her and her brother, Pietro, grabbed her and ran out. But he threw Clint through a glass window before he left. 

As you help Clint up and get the glass shards off of him Tony calls for help through the comms because Wanda got to Bruce. Now Hulk is running through a nearby city tearing it to pieces. Clint tells Tony he’s on his own, the whole team’s down. Nat, Thor, and Steve are all in a daze hallucinating whatever Wanda put into their heads. Clint helps Nat onto the jet. Steve finally snaps out of it, but he’s still not feeling right so you help him onto the jet. It took both you and Clint to get Thor. 

By the time all of that happened Hulk and Tony had demolished half a city before Tony was able to knock him out. Which is now playing all over the news, everywhere.

Eventually the whole team is together again on the Quinjet. Because of the chaos Ultron and the Maximoff’s caused the Avengers are in deep trouble until he’s dealt with. Maria told you guys to lay low for a while.

You, Clint, and Tony were the only one’s not affected by Wanda’s mind manipulation. Steve seems to want to be left alone so you’re giving him space. He’s hanging out in a corner of the jet by himself. Same goes for Thor, Bruce, and Nat. You’re not sure what they saw but it’s really done a number on all of them.

Clint’s flying the jet and you hear Tony offer to take over. But Clint declines and says he’s taking everyone to a safehouse. You immediately know he means home. Home where his wife that hates you is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be better.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Clint takes the reader home?
> 
> Prepare for angst, drama, and maybe some tears.
> 
> Had to make up for that last chapter.

CHAPTER 16

  
  


Clint says he’s taking the team to lay low in a safehouse. You immediately know he’s talking about home and get an awful feeling in the pit of your stomach. He can’t take you there, especially since his wife knows he kissed you. 

You move up to the front of the jet after Tony moves away from Clint, and start angrily signing to Clint. 

_ Y: You can’t take me there. She will be pissed. _

_ C: It will be fine don’t worry. It’s the only safe place we have. _

_ Y: You don’t take the mistress home to your wife dumbass. _

_ C: You’re not my mistress. You’re my best friend.  _

_ Y: Your wife doesn’t see it that way. _

_ C: It will be okay. The kids miss their Aunt. _

You throw your hands up in defeat. Then groan as you walk away. This is a terrible, terrible idea. You go sit towards the back of the jet while internally fretting to yourself. Steve eventually seems to snap out of his mood, and comes and sits next to you. You can tell he’s still not completely okay, and he doesn’t say anything. So you gently pull him down so he’s laying his head in your lap. You lay one arm over him and the other you run your fingers through his hair. He stays like that until Clint lands the jet on his property. 

Clint’s house is in the country. It’s a large piece of farmland. It’s quiet and beautiful. 

Everyone slowly files out of the Quinjet and follows Clint through the trees and into the clearing where his house becomes visible. Nat is still pretty out of it so Clint’s helping her walk to the house. You intentionally lag behind everyone. Maybe with the entire team there Laura will be okay if you just stay out of her way. Doubtful, but you can hope. 

Clint walks up the porch and opens his front door calling out for Laura. Everyone is confused except for you, but you just play dumb. You try to go into the house last but Steve, ever the gentleman holds the door open for you so that you go first. Once you get inside a very pregnant Laura is smiling at Clint, hugging him. She smiles at everyone until her eyes find you. Oh if looks could kill you’d be a goner. Before she can say or do anything Clint’s son and daughter come running through the house and run straight to him, hugging him tight. When they turn around they see you. 

“Auntie (Y/N)!” They both come running to you so you kneel down and they both wrap their arms around you. You put one arm on each of them. “Hey guys. I missed you too. You’re getting so big.” Laura, still glaring daggers at you redirects the kids to Nat. “Guys don’t forget Auntie Nat is here too.” They release you and run over to Nat. She pulls herself together for the kids and hugs them. She shoots you an apologetic smile. Laura tells the kids to go show Nat something in the next room. That’s when you know you’re in trouble.

Before Clint can stop her she storms across the room with fire in her eyes. “How dare you!” Then she slaps you across the face. Well you’re not going to hit a pregnant woman, and you kind of deserve it. So you nod your head once and walk out of the house. 

You keep walking until you get to a barn and go sit on the back side of it on the ground with your back leaned up against it. 

You’re not sure how much time passes, but you just sit there staring at the forest in front of you. Maybe you can just stay on the Quinjet, probably better that way. As you’re wrestling with your thoughts a shadow looms over you. Without looking behind you, you can tell it’s Steve. When you don’t say anything he sits down on the ground next to you. “So you’ve obviously known about Barton’s family for a while.”

You just nod your head in agreement. When you still don’t say anything you hear him let out a deep sigh. “It was Clint wasn’t it?” You slowly turn your head towards him, and look at him questioningly. “The someone you told me you never got over. It was Clint you were referring to. Am I right?”

You turn your head away and look back towards the trees. “I met him on my very first day at Shield. He was a weapons training instructor, and was showing off. When it was my turn I shot my arrow straight through his splitting it down the middle. The look on his face was priceless. At the end of the day he found me and we talked for hours. We’ve been in each other's lives ever since then. The very next day he told me he was training me himself. So we spent a lot of time together. We kept having these moments where he would lean in to kiss me, but stop at the last second. After he did that a dozen times I finally asked him why he wouldn’t just kiss me already. That’s when he finally told me he was married. He only had one child at the time. Unfortunately for me by that point I had already fallen hard for him.”

“Everyone knows you two are close. But I never thought there was anything romantic there, I figured you would have been dating already if there was. So is that why his wife was so mad when she saw you? Because she knows?”

You shake your head and bite your lip. Steve’s probably going to hate you by the end of this conversation, but might as well lay it all out there now. You keep your eyes forward on the tree line, afraid to see what Steve’s reaction will be. “She knows, but that’s not why. I think she’s known since the first time she met me, she just tolerated me for Clint. Our friendship is complicated and because of our known feelings for eachother it started taking its toll on me. I tried distancing myself from him because I kind of had a meltdown because it was hurting me so bad. That’s why Nat convinced you to switch up partners, because I didn’t know how to ask you without you asking questions. Anyway I avoided him for a couple days after my meltdown. He got fed up with it and ended up cornering me. We got into a huge argument that ended with him shoving me against a wall and kissing me. Even though he kissed me first I’m just as guilty I didn’t push him away. And just so you know this happened before we were dating. Then Clint told me when he went home, him and Laura got into an argument and he told her about the kiss. That’s why she slapped me. That’s kind of the shortened version of what happened. If you want more details I’ll give them to you.”

You hold your breath and brace yourself for Steve’s reaction. The longer the silence goes the more scared and nervous you become. He clears his throat which sounds incredibly loud after all the silence. “When exactly did that argument happen?”

You hang your head. That’s the one question you were hoping he wouldn’t ask, but you're not going to lie. No turning back now. “When Clint turned his comm off, a few minutes before I got shot.”

Steve jumps up and starts pacing in front of you. He has his hands on his hips. “I knew it. I knew there was more to what happened. I knew there had to be a reason he turned his comm off. And you both lied to me about it. So what am I to you then? Just a distraction since you can’t have him. You’re supposed to be with me but you’re pining for someone else.”

Your eyes start to water, but you try to will them away. “That’s not true Steve, and it’s also not fair. You were not a distraction. I was finally trying to open myself up to someone else after denying myself that for years. It’s not easy and you of all people should understand that. Did you notice I didn’t ask you what the Maximoff girl made you see when she messed with your head? I didn’t need to ask, because I already knew it was something about Peggy. Tell me honestly, if young and beautiful Peggy were standing here right now would you even think twice about me?”

When he doesn’t say anything that tells you everything. So without another word you get up and start walking back towards the Quinjet. Steve doesn’t try to stop you or even follow you. The further away you get the more your vision gets blurry from all the tears spilling from your eyes. When you get on the jet you drop to the floor and cry uncontrollably.  
  


Clint stares out of his bedroom window watching you walk towards the trees alone. Then sees Steve come out from behind the barn, the same place you just came from, and heads in the opposite direction alone. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, he needs to make sure you’re okay. He’s exhausted from arguing with Laura. He knows it’s a messy situation and really not fair to anyone. 

Laura comes up behind him and wraps her arms around him, her pregnant belly getting in the way. “I’m sorry Clint.” He sighs and puts his hands over hers. “I know, me too.” She moves to Clint’s side and lifts his shirt checking the spot where he was injured on that last mission. She runs her hands over it a few times. “I can feel the difference.” Clint snorts out a laugh. “That’s exactly what…..” He stops himself from finishing the sentence. Laura rips her hand away like it's been burned. “Exactly what Clint? That’s exactly what your precious (Y/N) said?!”

Clint drops his head feeling defeated. This is getting so old and exhausting. “Yes Laura, that’s exactly what she said. She is my best friend and we will always care about each other. You should give her a break. She sticks up for you and tells me when I’m being an ass and need to make things right. She didn’t even want to come here, she argued with me about it because she didn’t want to upset you. She’s been dating Steve for a while now, but after your little show when we first got here she probably had to explain herself to him. And from the looks of it they’re fighting. So you’re hurting the situation more than helping.”

Clint storms out of the room, out of the house, and outside to go find you. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more angst then some fluff

CHAPTER 17

Cold and tired. That’s all you can feel right now. Your emotions have gone numb from crying until you just couldn’t cry anymore. Laying on the floor of the jet is very uncomfortable, but you just can’t find the energy to pull yourself off the floor. You hear the sound of someone else coming inside, but you’re too tired to turn your head. Maybe they’ll just put you out of your misery. 

“(Y/N)? Where are you?”

“Here.” You say barely above a whisper. If it wasn’t so quiet in here he probably wouldn’t have heard you. Suddenly you’re being picked up by familiar strong arms, you rest your head on his shoulder as he sits down with you still in his arms. Clint didn’t forget about you. Even with his angry wife inside his house he still came to check on you. 

“How much did you tell him?” You didn’t think it was possible, but another tear slips from your eyes. “Enough.” Clint hugs you tight, and kisses your forehead. “I’m so sorry darlin’ I should have listened to you. But I didn’t know where else to take us to hide out while we deal with this Ultron situation.”

“It’s alright. The truth always has a way of coming out. What did you tell the rest of the team?”

“Thor left, said something about finding answers. Bruce decided to stay out of it, and Nat gave Tony a scary look to shut him up.” You don’t say anything after that. Clint feels you shivering and rubs his hand up and down your arm to warm you up. “You can be mad at me all you want darlin’ but I’m not leaving you in here, you’re freezing. You can stay in the guest bedroom downstairs, and don’t worry about Laura, alright?”

“When did you become the bossy one?” Clint smirks at you. “Thought I’d give it a try. I’m sure you’ll be back to bossing me around in no time.” That gets a small smile out of you. You climb out of Clint’s lap and he takes your hand and leads you back toward the house. When you reach the open clearing and can see the house you let go of Clint’s hand. He gives you a look but doesn’t say anything. When you get inside the house there’s no one downstairs. “Where is everyone?”

“Tony is out in the barn doing god knows what. Nat and Bruce are sharing a room. ‘Bout time right? The kids and Laura are upstairs. And Steve hasn’t come back yet.”

It doesn’t go unnoticed that he brought up Steve last. He was giving you an opening in case you wanted to talk about it, which you don’t right now. So you focus on something else. “Nat and Bruce huh? Yes it’s about damn time.” Clint chuckles at that. Then he leads you to the guest bedroom. He stands at the door and looks at you. “Are you going to be okay?”

You shrug your shoulders. “Eventually.” You walk back over to him and give him a hug. “Thank you for always being there when I need you.” He hugs you a little tighter. “You do the same for me.” Clint tells you goodnight, and you go curl up in bed. You’re still stressed out and upset but you’re so mentally drained you drift off to sleep.

Sometime later you wake up when the bed moves. Slowly you crack your eyes open and see sad blue eyes looking back at you. You’re actually really surprised to see Steve laying next to you. You don’t say anything, you’re not even sure what to say.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers quietly to you. “Are we over?” You whisper back. He opens his mouth and closes it a couple times as he hesitates on what to say. “Do you want to be?”

“No, but I’ll never be Peggy.”

“And I’ll never be Clint.”

“I don’t want you to be Clint. I never did. I want you to be Steve. The sweet guy that makes me blush, makes me laugh when I’m sad, and makes me feel safe when I’m scared. The adorably foul mouthed guy that makes me happy.”

Steve lifts his arm slowly and puts his hand on your cheek moving his thumb across your cheek bone. “I don’t want you to be Peggy. I think I put her on a pedestal for so long that fantasy overtook the facts and I idealized her. We never got the chance to explore if there was something more between us and I fixated on that. Her and I only kissed once and that was hours before I crashed into the ice. We never even went on a date. Most of the time we spent together was related to the war, just had a few stolen moments here and there. So what I’m trying to say to you is if young and beautiful Peggy was standing in front of me I would still choose you.”

You give him a sad smile. “Really?” He nods his head and smiles back at you. “(Y/N), you’re my best girl and I love you.”

You give him a real smile. “I love you too Steve.” He leans in and captures your lips and kisses you with fervor. This kiss feels different, more passionate. You pour your love for each other into the kiss. It feels like you’ve been kissing for hours when you finally break apart, even though you know it was only seconds or minutes. You press your forehead against his. “I’m sorry for not telling you about Clint. I just didn’t know how and I was trying to move on. Can you forgive me?”

“I just need to know that you’re in this will me all the way, not halfway.”

“I’m all in baby. But you also need to understand he’s always going to be my best friend, and that’s all he’ll ever be.” Your foreheads are still pressed together so you feel when he starts nodding his head. He rolls your bodies so that he’s laying on top of you and starts kissing you again. It gets intense and heated quickly. You gently stop him. “As much as I would enjoy make up sex right now we are far to loud and there are two children, well three if you count Tony, in this house. And everyone will hear that dirty mouth of yours.”

That makes him smile and a small laugh escapes him. “Well we wouldn’t want to let that secret out now would we? And probably shouldn’t traumatize the children.” He kisses you once more then lays down pulling you on top of him. You rest your head on his chest and he wraps his arms around you. 

  
  


When you wake the next morning you’re alone. Which makes you wonder if you’ve finally gone mad and you just hallucinated or dreamt the conversation with Steve. You roll on your back, cover your face with both hands and groan. Why does your life have to be so complicated?

“Do you always think so hard this early in the morning?” You slowly slide your hands away from your face and look towards the door. Steve is standing there smirking at you with two cups of coffee in his hands. He comes and sits next to you on the bed so you scoot up leaning against the headboard. “One of those for me?” You gesture towards the coffee. He smiles and hands it to you. He made your coffee just the way you like it. He pays more attention than you give him credit for. “Thank you, you’re the best. I really needed this.”

“You welcome. Now are you going to tell me what you’re overthinking this morning?” You lean your head back against the wall and rub a hand down your face. “Well, you weren’t here when I woke up. So I thought I finally went crazy and completely made up last night in my head.”

Steve chuckles at you and shakes his head. When he does that you thought you saw something on the side of his face. So you set your coffee down, put your hand on his chin and turn his head. With your free hand you run your fingertips across a bruise between his eye and temple. “What happened to your pretty face? This wasn’t here yesterday.”

He sighs and gently grabs your hand. “Clint and I had a little discussion last night. It's fine, I deserved it for making you cry.”

“You guys were fighting because of me? You didn’t hit him back did you? You’ll break his face if you hit him. Oh god I’m going to break the team up. I’m not worth all this trouble Steve.”

He puts a hand on your face and with the other he covers your mouth to quiet you. “Will you calm down, please? I didn’t hit him back. He came and found me and chewed me out for hurting you after he punched me. We didn’t fight and we’re not fighting I promise. He just told me what an ass I was being and where I could find you. And you are worth it by the way.” He slowly removes his hand that was covering your mouth. “You okay now doll?”

You bite your lip and nod your head. You lean forward and kiss the bruise on the side of his face and then wrap your arms around him for a hug. “I love you Steve.” He wraps his arms around you, hugging you tight. “I love you too doll.”

Finally moving on from your fight with Steve you try staying outside the house as much as possible, while also steering clear of Laura. You play with the kids for a while until they get called inside by Laura. 

Steve and Tony are chopping wood. Taking out some of their aggression on the logs. You’re practically eye fucking Steve as he flexes his muscles with the axe. “Better wipe the drool off your face.” 

“Very funny Nat.” She comes and sits next to you with a smile on her face. “Did Bruce put that smile there?” You say teasingly to get her back. “Touche.” Is all she says in return. 

“Are you okay sweetie?” You let out a deep sigh and cross your arms over your chest. “I suppose. I’m just trying to be respectful and stay out of her way. Did you know Clint punched Steve and made him apologize to me?”

Nat snorts out a laugh. “That’s news to me. Good for him though. Steve must not have hit him back though because he looked like he was in one piece.” You nod your head and chuckle. “So you and Bruce, it’s about fucking time my friend.” She shoves your shoulder, almost knocking you over. “Whatever, you’re one to talk.”

“Ya, ya I know. Are you doing okay after whatever the Maximoff girl did to you?” She goes quiet for a moment after that. Then she finally shrugs her shoulders. “I suppose. I talked to Bruce about it so that helped.”

Nat stays and talks to you for a while before she goes back inside to find Bruce. You see Steve rip a large piece of wood in half with his bare hands. Which was incredibly hot to watch. But Tony said something to piss him off, and he takes off towards the barn after Laura says something to him. Once she’s out of sight you make your way over to Steve. 

“Everything okay baby?” He stops chopping the wood and sets the axe down. He leans in and gives you a soft kiss. “Ya we’re fine. Tony is just being Tony.”

“Being a man child because he’s in the wrong?” Steve laughs at that. “Ya pretty much. Speaking of children I saw you with Clint’s kids. You’re really good with them.”

You just shrug your shoulders. “They’re good kids, and they’re fun to hang out with.” Steve puts his hands on his hips and looks in any direction but at you. “Have you ever thought about….you know….having kids of your own one day?”

It’s incredibly cute how nervous he is by asking you that. “Are we really having the kid talk already? Just yesterday I thought we were broken up.” Steve’s shoulders slump and he rubs a hand nervously on the back of his neck. “I know, you’re right. I’m sorry. I was just curious. Forget I said anything.”

You chuckle at him. “Steve it’s fine, I’m just giving you a hard time. I don’t want any right now considering my job choice. But eventually one day. What about you?”

He bites his bottom lip and crosses his arms over his chest. “Before the serum when I was just plain Steve Rogers I always pictured having a wife and two or three kids. But after I became Captain America, and especially after I was pulled from the ice I stopped picturing it. Didn’t feel like it was in the cards for me.”

You move closer to him and wrap your arms around his waist. “Well then it’s a good thing I’m in love with plain Steve Rogers, because Captain America is actually a pain in my ass.” He chuckles and kisses your forehead. “I guess you’re right doll.”

Later on Tony emerges from the barn with Nick Fury. He came to help come up with a game plan to defeat Ultron. Clint had to practically drag you in the house. Laura never said anything to you. She gave you a few cold stares but that was about it. 

Everyone is spread out in the dining room discussing how to put an end to Ultron. You’re leaning against the doorframe at the entryway. Steve came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your middle and rested his chin on top of your head. You bite your lip to hold back the love sick smile that’s trying to appear on your face. It’s a small gesture, but it makes you happy and you feel loved. 

Feeling so happy in the moment you don’t notice Laura who is watching Clint, and Clint is watching you with sadness in his eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're moving on from Ultron. Like I said I was only going over parts important to the story. 
> 
> Moving on towards Civil War and I'll do the same thing. But definitely changing the outcome. Fuck Endgame.

CHAPTER 18

  
  


After the events of Ultron came to an end and he was inevitably destroyed the Avengers gained a couple new members. Wanda Maximoff was welcomed, she helped put an end to Ultron to redeem herself. Sadly her twin Pietro didn’t survive Ultron’s attack in Sokovia. Vision was also a new addition. Tony and Bruce put Jarvis into the body Ultron created with Dr. Cho’s technology with the intent to upload himself into it. Loki’s scepter was sort of recovered. The stone inside the scepter is what gives Vision life. So you and Clint feel it’s safe with him and no longer worry about the scepter. Even though Thor didn’t have the scepter or the stone he decided to go back to Asgard for a little while to see his family, but promised he’d be back.

Because of the growing team Tony built a new facility in upstate New York for the Avengers. It’s also outside the city so if the compound were to be attacked there would be the possibility of less casualties as opposed to the Tower that's in the middle of the City. Since Jarvis is now Vision, Tony had a replacement program called Friday set up. Sometimes you forget and call out Jarvis instead of Friday. It’s going to take some getting used to.

You’re adjusting to your new home at the Compound. The only thing really troubling you is the fact you haven’t seen Clint for a couple months. Laura had the baby so Clint took some time off to stay home. You text back and forth daily you miss his face so damn much. 

Steve and you have separate rooms just like at the Tower but you spend almost every night together. You just alternate rooms. Neither of you have broached the subject of just moving into one room together. Tony has not so subtly brought it up a few times.

With Hydra now finally put to an end Steve has been putting more focus and effort into finding Bucky. So you’ve been helping him and Sam. But Bucky is good. He’s like a ghost, any tiny hint of a lead is always a dead end. That man knows how to disappear. 

Right now everyone is out doing various things except for you and Sam. The two of you are watching a movie occasionally throwing popcorn at each other and bickering over the storyline of the movie. 

Friday’s voice rings through the intercom.  _ “ _ A motion detector on the roof is picking up movement from an unknown entity.” Sam and you look at each other in confusion. “(Y/N), wait here I’ll take my comm and check the roof. I’ll tell you if I see anything.” 

“Got it. I'll get ready in case you need back up.” As he takes off with his suit you throw on some shoes and get yourself ready for the potential threat. After he’s been gone for a couple minutes you start to get worried. “Sam? Everything okay?”

_ “I located the breech. I’m bringing him in. He’s an adult male that has some sort of shrinking tech.” _

Oh that’s just fantastic you think to yourself. You go wait by the door for Sam. Again he’s taking too long so you’re about to call out to him and you hear gun fire. “Shit. Sam what’s happening?”

_ “He became combative and shrunk again. I’m trying to locate him. Go check the inside of the storage area on the south end of the compound in case he got inside.” _

“Copy that. On my way.” You grab your bow and run through the building as quickly as possible. So much for a quiet lazy day. When you get to the storage area Sam was referring to you slowly open the door. You don’t hear anything, and if he has shrinking tech you likely aren’t going to see anything. “Okay little dude, are you in here?”

Suddenly a full size man pops up in front of you wearing a red and black jumpsuit and a weird helmet. He opens his helmet so you can see his face and holds his hands up. “Hi. I’m Scott. Please don’t shoot me. I’m a huge fan of yours. I think you’re pretty awesome and probably deadly with that bow of yours. So just please let me explain ”

You tilt your head to the side and look him over and slowly lower your bow. Sam is yelling at you in the comms.  _ “(Y/N) you see any sign of him?” _

“Negative. I’m still searching.” Scott looks at you with wide eyes. “Okay Scott you got about two minutes before he gets impatient and comes in here himself. Explain what you’re doing here.”

“Wow really? See I knew you were awesome. So I just need to borrow a piece of tech just for a couple days. It’s a save the world kind of situation, you know how that stuff goes.”

“What kind of tech?” He reaches into his suit and pulls out a piece of paper with a drawing of it and hands it to you. You look it over and then look back at him, staring into his eyes for a moment. His eyes look honest. He’s far too dorky to be up to something bad. He could have done a number of things with that shrinking tech and he hasn’t. “Follow me.” Again he looks at you surprised but follows you through the storage area. You stop at a shelf and start digging through a box.

Scott clears his throat awkwardly. “Hey I don’t want to push my luck but why are you helping me? Your friend outside responded the exact opposite of you.” You scoff but have a smile on your face. “Sam takes things far too seriously sometimes. I’m helping you because you are far too awkward and dorky to be an evil villain of some kind. But it’s also your eyes. You have kind eyes and I can see that you’re sincere.”

You slip the small piece of tech that’s just collecting dust on the shelf into his hand. His whole face lights up and he pulls you in for an awkward hug. “You are totally my favorite Avenger now. I promise I’ll give this back in a few days.” You write down your phone number on the paper that had the drawing on it. “Call me that way you don’t have to do this again. And if by some chance I’m wrong about you, you’ll find out exactly what I can do with this bow. Now if you disable Sam’s glasses he won’t be able to see you. Good luck.” 

He waves once more and then shrinks down. You move towards the small window in the storage room and see Sam getting his ass kicked. You should probably feel bad. But it’s some nerdy guy whooping his ass so it’s hilarious. 

A few minutes later Sam’s voice comes through the comm. “Can we not let Cap find out about this?” Unable to contain your laughter anymore you start laughing through the comm. “Real funny (Y/N). I see how it is.”

While Sam is inside licking his wounds you’re excitedly sitting outside on the phone with Clint. You were ecstatic when you saw his name flashing on your phone. “Clint I miss your face.” You hear his adorable laugh come through the phone. “Ya I miss your face too. That’s actually why I was calling. I have to go into the city in a couple days. Wanna meet up?”

“Like you even need to ask. Of course I do.” Clint makes arrangements with you. Then you start telling him the story about what happened today with Sam and the shrinking dude, Scott. You even told him how you helped the guy. Clint is laughing hysterically as you go into detail of Sam’s ass kicking. Which is making you laugh as you’re telling it.

You didn’t realize Steve was back so you don’t notice him watching you through the window. He sees the bright smile on your face and hears your laughter. He doesn’t even need to ask who you’re talking to. He’s hoping he can make you laugh like that one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Scott Lang, and Paul Rudd in general. He's so adorkable.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about some dirty talking, jealous, possessive Steve?

CHAPTER 19

Today you get to see Clint, you’re so excited. It’s been a couple months but it feels like a lifetime. But before you can do that you have to meet up with a former Shield agent that now works for the department of defence. They have some files with some possible leads on Bucky. So you have to dress up nice and professional to make it look like an official meeting of some kind. Then they’ll slip you the files once you’re in their office. They felt it was too risky for them to walk out of the building with the files themself or even on a hard drive. So you’re stuck doing all the dirty work. Oh well, nothing new. Steve offered to do it but you told him his pretty face would draw too much attention.

You’re freshly showered and standing in the closet with just a towel trying to decide which dress to wear. Then you sigh to yourself when you realize you wish Clint was here. He always helped you with this. A knock on your door pulls you from your thoughts. “Jarvis….Dammit. I mean Friday who is it?”

“It’s Captain Rogers ma’am.” You roll your eyes. It was cute at first that he would knock instead of just walking in. But now it's gone from cute to annoying. “Friday, can you tell him just to come in please.” You go back to staring at your wardrobe and eventually hear the door open and shut. “For like the millionth time Steve will you stop knocking.” You call out over your shoulder. 

“Sorry doll. Hard habit to break. What are you doing?” He walks up behind you and puts his hands on your hips and kisses your neck and shoulder. You lean back against him.

“Trying to find something to wear to the DOD building. Maybe I’ll bring a change of clothes. I don’t want to wear this crap when I have lunch with Clint.” The second you say Clint’s name Steve stops kissing you and removes his hands from you. Clint has been home since the end of the whole Ultron fiasco. So your friendship with Clint hasn’t been an issue for Steve. When you told Steve you were meeting Clint his disgruntled facial expression did not go unnoticed, but you let it go. 

You turn and face Steve. “Are you going to go all caveman on me and try to keep me from seeing my best friend?” Steve now has a guilty expression on his face. “No doll, of course not. It’s just with him being gone I could ignore the fact I know how you feel about him.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “We talked about this the night we had our fight. I told you that you had to understand he will always be my best friend, but nothing more. And you agreed.” He puts his hands up like he’s surrendering. “I know, you’re absolutely right okay?”

Then you remember how he asked you to give him a little slack since this is his first real relationship. This is all still new to him. You put your hands on his chest and push him backwards until the backs of his knees hit your bed. Then you push him down onto it. You climb into his lap and put both hands on his face. “Would it make you feel better if you fuck me, fill me up with your cum, and have it still dripping out of me when I leave here?”

Then you nibble on his ear and you can hear this breathing stutter. “Would you think I’m a caveman if I said yes?” He rasps out. You smile against his skin and pull your towel open letting it fall to the floor. He lets out a growl and attaches his lips to your neck and shoulder as his hands roam your body. 

Then he practically tosses you onto the bed and fumbles around trying to quickly remove his clothes. You decide to tease him a little and get on your hands and knees pointing your ass at him. “Fuck me like a caveman Captain.”

He jumps on the bed behind you and puts one hand on your hip and with the other he lines himself up at your entrance. When you feel him slowly pressing in you lean back fast and hard forcing him inside all at once. A moan escapes his mouth. “I said fuck me Captain.” He keeps one hand on your hip and the other he puts between your shoulder blades pushing your front down on the bed. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk straight doll.”

He starts mercilessly pounding into you with his super soldier strength. He’s going fast and rough, and it’s making your eyes roll into the back of your head. You’re both moaning and groaning. He’s moving so fast the bed is slamming into the wall. “Oh god Steve, don’t stop fucking me.”

He starts slamming into you impossibly harder. “Your pussy feels so fucking good baby. I’m gonna mark your pussy as mine. Because you’re all mine.” He puts his arms around you lifting you so your back is against his chest. He continues thrusting into you as he moves his hands. One hand moves below your throat and the other between your thighs. But he doesn’t rub you where you want him to and you know he’s doing it on purpose. “Steve please. Please baby.” You whimper out. He puts his lips next to your ear. “Say your mine.”

“I’m all yours baby. Only yours.” He lets out a growl and bites your shoulder as he starts rubbing your clit. “Oh god Steve. Don’t stop.” He has no intention of stopping. A moment later you're coming hard and you cry out yelling his name. He gives you no time to recover before he pushes you back down to your original position with his hand between your shoulder blades. 

Then he moves both hands onto your hips and pulls you toward him as he’s thrusting into you. He has you coming a second time. You’re clenching and spasming around him, practically screaming. His hips start to stutter as he reaches his own release and comes deep inside you.

He’s breathing heavily and slowly rubbing his hands along your body. You wince when he pulls out of you and he immediately notices. He gently turns you over onto your back and leans down, hovering his body over yours. “I’m so sorry doll. Did I hurt you? I was too rough wasn’t I?” A smile crosses your face as you catch your breath. “You were rough yes, but I told you to and I liked it. It was good baby.”

He gently kisses you and lays down next to you. “I’m sorry for being a little possessive. Forgive me?” You chuckle and kiss him again. “Of course I do. I marked you up after the whole thing with Sharon remember? Call us even.”

“I love you doll.”

“I love you too Steve.”

After that Steve left, letting you finish getting ready. You took another quick shower, because you weren’t actually going to leave with bodily fluids dripping down your legs. It made him feel better though. It takes you a little longer to get ready since you have some extra love bites to cover up. Once you’re all dressed up you go kiss Steve goodbye several times and promise to call if there’s any trouble at the DOD.

  
  


Your mission at the DOD took a little longer than expected. Security was extra thorough when they searched you on the way in and out. Your contact gave you the files on a flash drive that you had to hide on your body in a place they wouldn’t search. So you were a little late meeting Clint and didn’t have time to change out of your dress.

Clint is meeting you at a little family burger joint downtown that you used to go to together. He’s sitting on the outside patio alone. His face lights up when he sees you and you know yours lit up too. He jumps up from the table meeting you halfway and you wrap your arms around each other. You’ve been feeling like part of you has been missing for months. The second he hugs you it feels like the missing piece was put back. “I miss you so much Clint.”

“I miss you too darlin’.” When you pull away from each other Clint looks you up and down. “Did you dress up for me? Cause you look hot.” You smack him on the shoulder. “No, I told you I had to do something before I came here. I didn’t have time to change.”

The two of you sit down at the small table together and hold hands. He gives you a flirty smile. “Could you have just lied and just said it was for me?” You bat your eyelashes playfully at him. “Why of course handsome, I got all dressed up just to see you.” 

The two of you talk and laugh for a while. When you get a text alert on your phone you can’t help but laugh when you see who it is. Clint gives you a questioning look. “Remember the shrinking dude I told you about? Well he’s supposed to return something to me and I told him I would be in the city today. Wanna meet him?”

“Of course, gotta meet the guy that kicked Sam’s ass.” You text Scott back telling him where you are. He wasn’t too far away so you don’t have to wait long. A guy wearing a black hoodie approaches you. “Oh wow, you didn’t say you were with another Avenger. Hawkeye, you're awesome man. I’m Scott by the way.” 

Scott grabs a chair and pulls it up next to the table. Clint stares at Scott for a minute and looks him over, then turns his head to you. “Really?” That makes you start laughing. “Now you see why it’s so funny?” Clint nods his head at you as he’s laughing. Once Clint gets his laughter under control he shakes Scott’s hand. “Nice to meet you Scott, I’m Clint.”

“So guys is Falcon still pissed at me? I heard a rumor he was searching for me.” You nod your head and smile at him. “Oh ya you definitely bruised his ego. But don’t worry I got your back. So I’m assuming you were successful in saving the world since we’re all still here.”

He reaches into his sweater and hands the tech back to you. “Oh ya, almost forgot the whole reason I was here. Thanks again by the way, and yes. Mission was successful. And I just noticed how dressed up and pretty you are. I mean I already knew you were pretty. Anyway, am I interrupting a date or something?”

You start laughing as he babbles on. “I like you Scott, you're so dorky and adorable. And no it’s not a date, Clint’s my best friend. I’m actually dating Steve.” You can see Clint lose his smile in the corner of your eye when you say the last part. 

“Thanks for the compliment? I think. Steve as is Steve Rogers? Like Captain America, Steve Rogers?” You just laugh and nod your head at him. “Of course an awesome beautiful woman like you would be dating Captain America. Oh I like you too by the way. So does this mean we’re friends now?”

“Sure Scott, we can be friends now. Just no more breaking into my home.” Scott gives you another awkward hug and promises no more breaking and entering into the Avengers compound. He even gives Clint an awkward hug. Clint’s facial expression is hilarious. After that he leaves so it’s just you and Clint again. Clint laughs as Scott walks away. “That guy is so weird, but it’s like you can’t help but like him.”

“I know right? I’m glad it’s not just me.”

  
  


After you and Clint finish your meal you go for a walk in the park. Clint grabs your hand and laces your fingers together. “When are you coming back? I really fucking miss you.” He sighs and runs his free hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Laura wants me to retire and stay home.” Your heart drops, and feels like it’s breaking all over again. You release his hand and stop walking.

“Are you going to?” Clint takes a step towards you and reaches for you, but you take a step back and pull away. “Darlin’ don’t be like that. I didn’t say that, okay? I haven’t made a decision.”

This feels like the moment when he told you he was married. If he retires you’ll never see him. It will be like you lost him for good. “I know this is probably really selfish of me but I don’t really care right now. This whole time you’ve been gone I’ve felt like a piece of me was missing. I didn’t feel whole again until you hugged me at the restaurant. Like I had the missing piece back. I can’t live without you Clint. I need you.”

The two of you are standing near a brick wall that borders the park, and there’s no one around. Clint takes a couple steps towards you, putting both of his hands on your face. While keeping his eyes on yours he slowly pushes you until your back hits the wall. He leans in slowly giving you every opportunity to stop him. When you don’t he gently presses his lips to yours.

This kiss is much different from your first kiss, that one was rushed in the heat of the moment. This one is slow and deep. He continues moving his lips against yours as he keeps one hand on your face, the other goes to your leg. He lifts your leg and you hook it over his hip as he runs his hand up your bare thigh.

Your skin breaks out in goosebumps and you gasp. He seizes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth making you moan. As his tongue explores your mouth you wrap your arms around his neck playing with the hair on the back of his neck.

Both of you don't want to break the kiss and just keep pulling each other impossibly closer. 

The sound of your phone ringing reaches your ears. Clint whispers against your lips for you to ignore it. But you realize it's Steve's ringtone and instantly feel guilty. He didn't cross your mind, not once in the last 5 minutes.

You break the kiss and see how disappointed Clint looks. "It's Steve. I need to answer it."

Quickly you dig your phone out of your purse and see Steve's picture flashing on the screen. You answer the phone trying to sound normal, and avoid looking at Clint. "Hey baby."

"Doll are you almost home? We got a lead on Rumlow."

"Rumlow? Are you serious? Um...I'm still downtown. So I'm an hour away, I could make it in 40 if I drive fast."

Steve sighs into the phone. You can picture him shaking his head at you. He disapproves of your fast driving. "No doll, don't do that. We gotta go now. This is the best lead we've had for months and he won't be there long."

"But Steve, you know I want him captured as bad as you. You can't wait for me?"

"No we need to leave now. If you weren't running around with Barton you wouldn't be in this situation."

It feels like there's a lump in your throat. He's not wrong. You were just doing what he secretly feared with Clint. "Steve that's not fair."

"I'm sorry, but we're loading up now. I'll call you later." Then he ends the call just like that.

You stand there staring blankly with the phone next to your ear and slowly lower it. The background on your phone is a picture of you and Steve together. His beautiful smiling face making you feel more guilty. Slowly you sit down on the ground with your back against the brick wall.

"(Y/N), what's wrong?" Clint sits down next to you on the ground. "Um...Steve got a lead on Brock Rumlow. Says he needs to leave now and can't wait for me."

Clint stays quiet for a minute and you can feel his eyes on you. "That's not what's bothering you. Do you love him?"

"I do, or thought I did. But from the moment you mentioned retiring up until my phone rang he didn't cross my mind once. I'm such a terrible person." 

Clint wraps his arm around you and pulls you to him. "You're not the terrible person darlin', I am. I'm the married one. You always try to do the right thing and I keep pulling you back in. It's just what you said about a piece of you missing. I felt the exact same way without you."

That was an amazing kiss. Both times he's kissed you have been amazing. But it’s wrong. “Clint we can’t keep doing this to each other, we’re not just hurting ourselves it’s other people too. Steve and Laura don’t deserve this.”

"I'm going to be honest and just lay it all out there. I felt something for you the first day I met you. When we just talked for hours about anything and everything, I've never felt that instant connection with anyone except for you. Both times I kissed you it just felt so right. I love Laura, I really do. She's the mother of my children. But I'm in love with you. I'm so in love with you it hurts to not have you. I know you love me, but you also love Steve. I think we should take some time and figure out what we want for our own lives. Things just keep getting more complicated."

You grab Clint's hand and lace your fingers together. "I think I fell in love with you that day too. Kissing you feels right until the kiss ends, then it feels wrong because you're not mine. I've loved you for so long. But you're right I fell in love with Steve too. I agree we need time to figure out what we want without influencing each other."

No matter what someone is going to get hurt.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

  
  


Two days. It’s been two agonizing days since you’ve talked to both Steve and Clint. You agreed with Clint to separate yourselves for a couple weeks, some time to figure things out. You’ve made such an epic mess with your life, but your choices don’t just affect you. There’s other people involved. You’ve been debating whether to tell Steve what happened with Clint. You don’t want to keep things from him, but also what purpose would it serve to tell him. It would just clear your conscience and hurt him in return.

You miss him so much. He hasn’t left on a mission without you in a long time. 

Steve took Sam, Nat and Wanda with him. It’s only been you a Vision at the compound and he’s not really great company. Since he’s not really human he’s still learning, so conversating with him is kind of a dead end sometimes. Tony went to MIT for a presentation and Bruce is doing some research with Dr. Cho at her personal lab. 

You’re also having trouble sleeping without Steve. He’s been sleeping next to you for months so you’ve gotten used to his big strong arms being wrapped around you. After tossing and turning for over an hour you decide to go to Steve’s room. You put on one of his t-shirts and climb into his bed. Maybe just his scent around you will give you a little comfort and allow you to fall asleep. 

Sometime during the night you half awaken feeling like you’re being weighed down, but it also feels comforting and safe. “Steve?” You whisper quietly. 

“Ya doll, it’s me. Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you. I went to your room first but you weren’t there.”

“I missed you. I haven’t been sleeping well without you. So I thought I’d give your room a try.” He tightens his arms around you and kisses your neck. “I missed you too doll. I’m so sorry for the way I left.”

You roll over onto your back and try to adjust your eyes to see his face but it’s too dark. He lays his head on your chest and keeps an arm wrapped around you. “Steve what’s wrong you sound off? Did you not catch Rumlow?” 

He lets out a heavy sigh and tightens his hold on you once again. You start running your fingers through his hair with one hand, the other is resting on his back. “We found Rumlow, but the mission went south. He never planned to be taken alive and he wanted to take me out with him. I had him on the ground, on his knees in front of me and he blew himself up. And in that moment all I could think about was how I was petty and rude to you on the phone and didn’t tell you I love you. I didn't want that to be our last conversation. Wanda ended up containing the blast around him and tried to pull him out of the city but she lost control and the blast hit a building. There were a lot of civilian casualties.”

There’s tears welling in your eyes. You don’t deserve this man, but if not for Wanda you would have lost him forever. It’s an awkward position he’s laying in so you hug him the best you can. “I’m so sorry I should have been here, I should have gone and helped the team. I could have lost you Steve. I love you so much.”

Steve lifts his head off your chest and leans down to capture your lips for a kiss. Then you remember the last person you kissed was Clint, and you're instantly filled with guilt and shame. You try pushing those thoughts aside and focus on Steve, on your love for him. He breaks the kiss and a sliver of moonlight shining through the window lets you see part of his face. His eyes are glossy and sad. “I love you (Y/N). I promise to tell you everyday how much I love you.”

He lays back down on the bed and pulls you to him. Your face is against his chest and his arms are wrapped back around you. “Are you guys in trouble for what happened? Is Wanda okay?”

“Physically she’s okay, but the guilt is weighing on her. She’s really upset. We might be in trouble for what happened. So in a way I’m glad you weren’t there. That way you’re not in any trouble.”

After that you both stay quiet, both feeling exhausted for different reasons. Your guilty conscience keeps trying to come to the forefront of your mind. But you push the thoughts aside by focusing on Steve. By how happy you are that he’s back and to be in his arms. The two of you lay there wrapped around each other and drift off to sleep.

  
  


A couple days go by. The mood amongst the compound is gloomy following the events that happened in Lagos. Every news channel is airing the story repeatedly.

You hugged Wanda and thanked her for protecting Steve, but she’s too guilt ridden to really talk to anyone. So everyone is just giving her some space for now.

Steve and you have been spending most of your time together. You are also filled with guilt, and keep trying to ignore it. Steve has noticed there is something wrong. He’s asked you a couple times if you were okay. You always deflect the question or come up with something vague, like being tired. He’s not completely buying it but he’s let it go for now. 

When Tony returned from his trip to MIT he came back with a guest. Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross, who is a great big bag of dicks. You can’t stand the man. 

Steve was right the Avengers are in some hot water for what happened in Lagos. The United Nations is in the midst of writing up an agreement that the Avengers can no longer operate independently or in foreign countries without approval from a committee. It’s going to be voted on in a few days, they’re calling it the Sokovia Accords. The only two choices the Avengers have is to sign or retire if this new accord passes. You, Steve, and Sam all agreed it was bullshit. Tony, Rhodey, and Vision thought it was a good idea. The others were undetermined. Nat called Clint so that wouldn't have to. So far she hasn't interrogated you about it…..yet.

Because of the casualties in Lagos the laws are temporarily being put into effect until the UN meeting. So in other words the Avengers can be arrested for trying to save people.

As you’re all arguing Steve gets a text. The look on his face is difficult for you to read. He excuses himself and takes off down the stairs. You get up and follow him to make sure he’s okay. He only made it halfway down the stairs and his face is buried in his hands. “Steve? Baby what’s wrong?” He keeps his face covered with one hand and gives you his phone with the other. It’s a message from Sharon Carter telling him that Peggy passed away last night in her sleep.

“Oh Steve, I’m so sorry.” You wrap your arms around him. He eventually uncovers his face and hugs you back. Other than Bucky who is MIA she was really his last connection to his previous life, and she was his first love. While you can’t relate to how he’s feeling, you can at least try to be there for him.

  
  


Steve makes arrangements to go to London for Peggy’s funeral. You assumed you would be going with him for emotional support. Well you assumed wrong. You are trying to be understanding and talk to him calmly, but it’s really fucking hard.

“Steve, what do you mean you’re going alone? Why don’t you want me with you? I understand I didn’t really know her. But I am a former Shield Agent and she did create Shield. There’s nothing weird about me being there. Plus I am your girlfriend.”

He is currently packing a bag and has his back turned towards you. He stops what he’s doing and turns to face you. “That is the problem (Y/N). You’re my girlfriend and I know something has been bothering you and you’re keeping it from me for some reason. So we are going to take a couple days apart. I’m going to say goodbye to Peggy. That will give you time to think about whatever is going on with you. Then we will talk this out when I get back.”

You stand there in shock, not sure what to say. You take a deep breath trying to keep the tears away. Steve walks over to you and puts both of his hands on your face. “I’m not angry with you, but I’ve known you long enough to be able to tell when something is upsetting you. So I think this is the best way to deal with it that way we’re both thinking clearly and don’t accidentally cause a fight. Okay?”

You slowly nod your head. He leans down and gently kisses you. “I promised to tell you everyday how much I love you. I fully intend on keeping that promise. I love you (Y/N).”

“I love you too Steve.” 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some Bucky finally.

CHAPTER 21

  
  


Steve just left for London. You convinced him to at least take Sam with him that way he wasn’t alone. So now you’re pacing around your room thinking in circles. You don’t know what to say to him when he gets back. Thinking isn’t getting you anywhere, it’s just giving you more anxiety. So you decide to distract yourself for a while. You never had a chance to go through all the files you got from your trip to the DOD. 

You dig the flash drive out of your purse and start reading through the documents and scanning the images. “Holy shit. Why didn’t I go through this sooner?” You might actually have a good lead, Bucky might be in Bucharest, Romania. 

This is probably a terrible decision, but you decide to go. Alone. Steve’s gone for a couple days with Sam. Tony, Rhodey, and Nat plan on going to the UN meeting in Vienna. Which you want no part of that, you’re not signing that shit if it passes. And you’re not going to ask Wanda to go after what happened, she’s still upset. She’s got something weird going on with Vision, they seem to be getting closer. Good for them though if it works out.

Once everyone leaves the compound you catch a flight to Bucharest. This is just too good of a lead to pass up. He moves around so much that if you wait any longer the trail will certainly go cold again and you’ve already had this info for a few days. You make a deal with yourself that you’ll just do some recon, and if you spot him you’ll call Steve and Sam. 

Well it sounded good in your head at the time. 

It’s early in the morning when you arrive at your destination. There were some photos of a man you are pretty sure was Bucky in a market place. It was the back of him, but the height and frame size seemed close. But what caught your attention is he only had a glove on his left hand, which would be his metal hand. 

The DOD didn’t follow up on this tip or pass it along because they thought it was just another false report. But there was an address in the files. You found the market place from the photos and the address is an apartment building just around the corner. You sit in the market place and watch the building while also debating with yourself. Should you sneak in through a window and scope out the place, hoping he’s not home? Or should you knock on the door? If you sneak up on him, he’ll see you as a threat. If you knock on the door he may just think you’re crazy. Which would be a fair assumption.

Checking the time on your watch you see it's the start of the funeral. So you won’t be talking to Steve anytime soon. Would he still be pissed at you for going alone if you actually find Bucky? And granted, hopefully come out of it alive. You let out a dramatic sigh. “Fuck it. Let’s do this.”

You cross the street to the apartment building. Of course he’s on like the top floor and you don’t want to chance crossing paths with the former winter soldier in an elevator. So you take the stairs. Which you regret about half way up, but keep going anyway. You find the apartment number from the files, but just stand outside of it trying to find your courage to knock. 

Then you see movement in the corner of your eye down the hallway so you turn your head towards the movement. Standing there with a very intimidating resting bitch face is none other than Bucky Barnes holding a bag of groceries.

You slowly lift your hands like you’re surrendering so he can see that you’re not armed. “Ty menya uznayesh'?”  _ (do you recognize me?) _

He slowly makes his way down the hallway walking towards you. He stops just inches from you, staring down at you. "What happened to pretending you didn't see me?"

“Well I didn't say for how long." You try saying it playfully but his expression doesn't change. He looks both directions in the hallway, looking for any sign of more people. “How many are here and what do you want?"

"It's just me, I'm alone and I just want to talk. I swear." He's had his eyes locked on yours as you're talking. You assume he's trying to read you and determine if you're lying. 

The corner of his mouth slightly quirks up, showing the tiniest hint of amusement. "You're either incredibly brave or incredibly insane." 

You shrug your shoulders and smirk. "Fair assessment. I'm still trying to figure that out myself."

“How did you find me?”

“I have a contact at the DOD. They shared some files with me. It was files of what they deemed false reports. You wearing one glove kind of gave you away to me.”

He moves past you and unlocks his apartment. He walks inside, but you stay still in the hallway not sure what to do. He turns and rolls his eyes at you. "You coming or what?" Slowly you step into his apartment and force yourself not to flinch when the door shuts.

He starts putting his groceries away. He glances over his shoulder at you. "You said you wanted to talk. I don't hear any talking."

Okay straight to it then. "Um...I guess first I need to know if you remember who you are or used to be, I suppose."

He turns and leans against the counter and stares at you some more. "I know my name and have some memories. They’re slowly coming back in bits and pieces. If Steve is looking for me why did he send you?"

"Oh thank god, you remember Steve. That will make things easier. He didn't send me, he doesn't even know I'm here. In fact no one does."

He cocks his head to the side and looks at you like you're crazy. "You know normal people fear me. And telling me no one knows you're here is awfully foolish."

"Well I think we already established I'm not normal. And I came to the conclusion if you wanted to kill me you would have done it already. You're more of a get the job done and move on kind of guy. Not play with your prey and then slowly kill it kind of guy."

That actually makes him laugh which makes you startle at little because it was so unexpected. He's got a nice smile and laugh though. He crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head at you. "You're alright, I think I like you. What's your name?"

"(Y/N)"

He walks across the small room and extends his right hand. "Well (Y/N), I'm Bucky. Nice to formally meet you. So who are you to Steve?" He releases your hand and gestures for you to sit down at the little dining table he has in his small kitchen. You pull out a chair and sit across from him. This is going far better than you expected. “Well we’ve worked together for a few years, but I’m also his girlfriend.” 

Bucky gives you an amused look. “You’re kidding? That punk finally got a girlfriend. Why isn’t he here with you then?”

“I don’t know if you remember much from the war. Do you remember Peggy, the British intelligence chick he had a thing for?” You can tell he’s thinking really hard. Hopefully not pushing himself too hard to remember. He scratches the scruff on his face. “I think so. The stuck up dame, she had dark hair. Didn’t even acknowledge me, she would only talk to Steve.”

“Okay, well unlike you and Steve she aged. She just passed away, so Steve’s at her funeral.” He nods his head in understanding. “So what exactly do you guys want?” You sigh and run your fingers through your hair. “Well Steve wants his best friend back. I don’t think he understands you’re not going to be the same guy he grew up with though. As for me, before Hydra got to you, you were a good man, a war hero. Then you got royally fucked over. In Washington DC you could have easily killed me, but you didn’t. I believe part of that good guy is still in there and deserves a second chance.”

Bucky goes quiet and looks down at the table. You’re worried you said something wrong. “Bucky listen, I’m not going to tell anyone you’re here. Only Steve if that’s alright. But no one is going to make you do anything you don’t want to. Can you at least have a conversation with Steve? He’s not going to stop looking for you until he does.”

He gives you a slight nod. “I’ll talk to him, but I can’t promise anything else.”

After that you change the subject and actually end up talking to Bucky for a long time. He seems lonely, but happy to have someone to talk to. Before you know it hours have gone by. You’re showing him some pictures on your phone when it starts ringing. His face falls a little. “It’s Steve.” He slides the phone over to you. “Can I tell him I’m with you?” He just nods his head at you, but you can see he looks a little nervous. You take a deep breath and answer your phone.

“Hey baby.”

_ “Doll, have you seen it on the news?” _ Okay he’s in a straight down to business mood. You frown and shake your head, then you realize he can’t see you. “No, what am I supposed to see on the news?” Bucky gets up and turns on the TV after he heard Steve tell you to turn it on. An emergency new bulletin is flashing. The Winter Soldier bombed the UN in Vienna early this morning. Then there’s a supposed photo of him leaving the scene. “Oh god, Steve he didn’t do it.” You see Bucky’s shoulders slump as he watches the news report.

_ “Doll I know we both hoped he could be saved, but maybe he’s too far gone.” _

“No Steve, you don’t understand. I found him. I’ve been with him for hours. He couldn’t have done it. That photo of him is fake” The phone goes silent so you pull the phone away from your face to see if the call dropped. “Steve? You still there?”

_ “Are you alright? He hasn’t hurt you has he? Where are you? How did you find him?” _

“Whoa Steve, slow down.” Bucky extends his hand towards you, gesturing for the phone. You slowly slip it into his hand. He takes a deep breath, you can still hear Steve rambling. “Relax punk, your girl is fine. I like her by the way. Not sure what she sees in you.” You laugh at that. Looks like he has some of his sense of humor back. 

Bucky talks to Steve for a couple minutes. Suddenly you both hear a noise and look at each other. “Bucky, I think we have company.”

The door breaks down, all the windows shatter, and the room fills up with smoke. Bucky drops your phone, and Steve’s voice can be heard calling out both of your names. Both you and Bucky fall to the ground and everything goes black.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

  
  


Being dragged through a government building in handcuffs is certainly not how you thought this day was going to go. Every government agency stormed Bucky’s apartment and you both got knocked out. You still aren’t sure how they found the place. Bucky was transported to a different containment area within the building you’re currently being led through. 

You’re being pushed and shoved down the hallways by some douche bags. You’re not sure exactly which government branch they’re from. Because you were found with Bucky they are trying to link you to the bombing. You’re refusal to sign the accords isn’t helping your situation any either. So you’ve been a little uncooperative with the guys manhandling you because this is complete and utter bullshit. How do you go from world saving Avenger to a criminal within a few hours?

The guy behind you digging a gun into your lower back is pissing you the fuck off. You jump to the side and knock his legs out from under him. Then laugh as he falls to the ground. Another guy grabs you by the throat and shoves you against the wall. You narrow your eyes at the guy. “Tell your fucking buddy I can walk without the fucking gun in my back you asshole.”

The one with his hand around your throat snarls at you. “How about you shut your fucking big mouth and get to walking.” He releases your throat and shoves you again. Oh he’s going to be sorry for fucking with you. 

They stop you in front of a door. The guy you kicked over opens it and walks in. The one that just had his hand around your throat is behind you. You jump in and kick the door, smashing it against his face. There’s blood gushing from his nose. “Choke me again mother fucker and I’ll do worse than that!”

The guy you kicked goes to lunge at you when you hear a familiar voice. You never scoped out the room, you were just determined to fuck up that asshole’s face. “Lay a hand on her again and I’ll rip your damn arms off myself.” 

You whip your head around and smile the second you see his beautiful face. “Steve?!” You go running across the room, he was already walking towards you meeting you in the middle. As you go to hug him you remember you’re still in handcuffs. At least they cuffed your hands in front of you, not behind you. Steve see’s the handcuffs and is even more agitated. “Uncuff her now! She’s not a criminal.” The guy not bleeding comes and unlocks the cuffs and you smirk at him smugly. He doesn’t dare say or do anything with Captain America standing over your shoulder. 

Once your hands are free you turn around and go to wrap your arms around Steve but he stops you. He puts his hands on your face and starts checking you for any injuries. He can see the marks on your neck from the guy that grabbed you in the hallway. “Doll are you alright? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine. Nothing I couldn’t handle. I just really need you to hug me right now.” He gives you a small but worried smile and pulls you to his chest and wraps his arms around you. “How did you find me?” You mumble against his chest.

Someone clears their throat, and it’s not Steve. You really failed to check out this room. “That would be me sweet cheeks. And I’ve already proved your innocence. You’re welcome. Nice move with the door by the way.” You pull your face out of Steve’s chest and look around him. Tony is sitting in a chair smiling at you. 

“How?” 

He crosses his arms over his chest and smiles more smugly. “I have constant surveillance verifying your whereabouts.” You run over to him and hug him. “Oh Tony you magnificent asshole. I will never give you shit about your cameras ever again.” He hugs you back. Then his voice gets serious for a moment. “You okay kiddo?” 

You pull away from him and shrug your shoulders. “I’m alright. Did you clear Bucky too?” Both Steve and Tony sigh. Steve pulls you back to him. You look between the two of them confused. “I don’t understand. Why the faces? I’m his alibi, I was with him for hours.”

Tony gets up and starts pacing around in a very Tony like manner. “I could verify your whereabouts all the way through both airports and even through Bucharest. Barnes though was dodging all the cameras. So we can’t prove where he was until he got to his apartment building just a few minutes after you.”

“Seriously? He would have to have traveled at lightning speed to get from Vienna to Bucharest in that short window. He was buying groceries. He had a bag of groceries when he ran into me. He didn’t do it. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone.”

Steve puts his hands back on your face. “Doll, I know we’re working on it okay? Now I want to know why you were in Romania alone in the first place. You didn’t know what state of mind Bucky was going to be in, that was a huge risk.” You force yourself not to roll your eyes. You already knew that lecture would be coming. “I know Steve, trust me I know. But I found a lead and I was afraid if we waited any longer it would go cold so I decided to follow up on it. My plan was to call you and Sam if I spotted him, but it didn’t pan out that way. I’m sorry.” Steve hugs you and kisses the top of your head. “I’m just happy you’re okay doll. I was really worried for a while.”

  
  


Later on you’re all led into another room. Steve stops you outside the doorway before you go inside. He puts a hand on the back of your neck and pulls you in for a bruising kiss. A very unexpected but pleasant surprise. When he breaks the kiss he presses his forehead against yours. “Thank you for finding Bucky. But don’t scare me like that ever again. Okay?” You give him a small smile. “Okay baby.”

Finally you and Steve enter the room. There’s a couple large TV’s and you can see Bucky on the screen. They are having a doctor do a psychological evaluation on him. Sam and Nat are already in the room. Their faces look relieved once they see you. They fight over who gets to hug you first. You reassure both of them that you’re okay. 

There’s also a man in the room you’ve never met before. Steve and Tony told you it was T’Challa. He’s now the King of Wakanda. His father died in the explosion in Vienna. He’s giving you a cold stare. Multiple people have already tried explaining to him that you had nothing to do with it. And Steve has also tried explaining that Bucky couldn’t have done it either. But he doesn’t seem convinced. 

You make your way back over to Steve before the doctor starts asking Bucky questions. You’re both standing, your back is against his chest and he has his arms wrapped around you. Another person comes into the room, so you and Steve turn your heads to see who it is. Of fucking course its Sharon Carter. She smiles at Steve, then when he turns his head away she gives you a mean bitch face. You just roll your eyes at her and turn back towards the TV. Both you and Steve want to know how Bucky was found in the first place. No one seems to know where the tip came from, and obviously the photo that’s being shown all over the news is fake.

Just as the doctor starts asking Bucky questions the power goes out and you’re standing in darkness putting everyone on high alert. Sharon tells Steve where in the building Bucky is. Steve runs out of the room with you and Sam following close behind. You all just have a feeling there’s something else going on.

Steve being the fast super soldier that he is, beats you and Sam to the floor Bucky’s on. By the time the two of you get there he’s got the doctor that was supposed to be interviewing Bucky shoved up against the wall. Then suddenly Bucky comes out of nowhere and punches Steve. He punches him so hard and with so much force Steve flies into the elevator doors, they bend inward and he falls down inside the empty elevator shaft. 

You watch as Bucky goes for Sam next. He doesn’t look like the Bucky you were talking to a few hours ago. He has the same look on his face as he did in Washington DC when he was fighting Steve. He’s in Winter Soldier mode right now, and you don’t understand how or why. 

“Bucky stop!” You call out to him just before he’s about to hit Sam with his metal hand. He shoves Sam aside and walks towards you with a cold look in his eye. Shit. Maybe that was a bad idea. You start backing away from him. “Bucky? Are you in there?” Your back smacks into a wall, you’ve got nowhere else to go. “Soldat, ya tvoy drug, pomnyu?”  _ (Soldier, I am your friend, remember?) _

He picks you up and throws you over his left shoulder. He’s holding you with this left arm so you know you’ve got no chance of squirming away. “Bucky put me down. Dammit.” He starts walking up flights of stairs as you’re kicking your legs. He grabs your legs with his right hand. And talks in a cold and emotionless voice. “Ukhodi ili ya broshu tebya sverkhu.”  _ (Quit or I’ll throw you from the top.) _

Instantly you stop kicking and you sigh feeling defeated. “Fuck my life.” You mumble under your breath. The sounds of footsteps other than Bucky’s echo in the stairwell. “(Y/N)?!”

“STEVE! UP HERE!” Just as you scream out to Steve, Bucky gets to the top flight of stairs and goes through the door leading to the roof. Oh god maybe he is going to throw me from the top. That’s the first thought that comes to mind until you see the helicopter he’s making a beeline for. Steve comes flying through the door at lighting speed. “Bucky put her down!” He drops you roughly onto the ground and then charges at Steve. They are throwing punches and kicking at each other. You move as far out of the way as possible. You’re not getting in the middle of two super soldiers fighting.

Steve kicks Bucky, but accidently in your direction. He kicks him so hard he flies off the edge of the roof and pulls you with him. You scream for Steve as you’re falling. He must be crazy because he jumps off the building after you.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

  
  


Steve nervously paces back and forth in an abandoned warehouse while periodically checking outside for any unwanted guests. When you fell from the roof thankfully there was a river below, and you fell onto Bucky since he had a hold of you. He took the brunt on the impact from the fall so you weren’t really injured, but he was knocked unconscious. Which was actually a blessing. Steve pulled both you and Bucky from the water. Sam caught up with both of you and found an abandoned warehouse to hide out in. 

This warehouse had some old machinery left behind. Steve and Sam put Bucky’s metal arm in an industrial size vice grip in case he’s still in Winter Soldier mode when he comes to. Bucky was framed but you need to find out why. The fake doctor that was interviewing him got away from Sam during all the chaos. 

The UN meeting never happened because of the bombing so the temporary laws are still in effect. Tony and Nat are rolling with the accords. So you, Steve, and Sam are on your own, and also wanted.

You decided you needed some air so you go to the backside of the building and sit under a covered area outside. Sam offered to take a shift watching over Bucky to give Steve a break. So Steve has just joined you outside. “You okay baby?” He wipes a hand down his face and takes a deep breath. “As okay as I can be. How about you doll? You sure you’re not hurt?”

“I’m sore and I’m sure I’ll have some bruises but nothing is broken so I’m good.” Steve sits down on the ground next to you and kisses your cheek. You lean your head against his shoulder. 

“Doll, how about we have that talk we were supposed to have?” Your heart starts pounding so loud you’re afraid he can hear it. You have to remind yourself to breathe because the instant he said that you held your breath.

“Now? Not really a good time. Don’t ya think?”

Steve sighs. “Bucky’s going to be out for a while. And we’re wanted so it’s not like we’re going home anytime soon. So why not?” You move your head away from his shoulder. Biting your lip as you take slow deep breaths through your nose. You don’t want to have this conversation right now, or ever really. “Steve I don’t want to do this right now.” You say just barely above a whisper.

“Well now you’re worrying me. Why are you so afraid to talk to me?” He doesn’t move his eyes away from you. His stare feels like he’s boring holes into you, but you keep your eyes forward. You’re losing the internal battle you’re having with your emotions and tears start streaming down your cheeks. “Doll?”

You lean your head back against the wall and angrily wipe the tears away. He’s not going to drop it and you’re pretty sure he’ll know if you lie. You slowly release the breath you were holding and keep your eyes focused on anything but Steve. “When I was with Clint in the city we were walking through a park and talking. I was asking him when he was going to come back, and he dropped a bomb on me. He said Laura wanted him to retire and stay home full time. I got upset and told him how I felt about it. Then…...we kissed.” 

The silence is almost unbearable. You're not sure what's worse, the silence or if he started yelling instead.

"(Y/N)........" Steve starts, but can't seem to get the words out. All he said was your name and you could hear the hurt in his voice. 

"(Y/N), we talked about this. I told you if we were going to be together that you needed to be all in. Not halfway in. How long are you two going to keep playing this game? He's married and I thought we were serious about each other."

The tears just keep falling, and it feels like there's a lump in your throat. "I know Steve. I am serious about you, about us. Clint and I haven't talked since that day."

"Did it happen before or after I called you that day?"

You bury your face in your hands briefly and pointlessly wipe the tears away. Pointless because you haven't stopped crying. "It was happening as you were calling me."

Steve abruptly stands up and shakes his head. "You know what, you're right. This isn't a good time for this." Then he walks away. You watch him walk away, but you don’t call out or follow after him. It’s better to just let him cool off before you try talking to him again. 

You stay outside for a while, scolding yourself repeatedly. Until you hear Bucky’s voice. You clean your face up the best you can and slowly walk inside. Bucky is talking to Steve. “Everything Hydra put in me is still there. The guy said the goddamn words and it triggered the Winter Soldier.”

“What did the doctor want? He went to a lot of trouble getting you captured to get 10 minutes with you.”

Bucky lets out a groan and looks at his arm that’s still stuck in the vice grip. “He wanted to know about Siberia. Where Hydra kept me. I’m not the only Winter Soldier. There’s a handful more still there, and they are worse than me.”

Steve looks at Sam. “He did tell me he wanted to see an empire fall.” The two of them go on talking about a game plan and what to do about the team and the accords. You walk across the room. Steve just ignores you, but Bucky has his eyes on you. When you stop in front of Bucky he gives you a sad look. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

You bite your lip and shake your head no. Without a word you release the vice grip freeing his arm. Bucky flexes and rotates his metal arm. Then he looks back to you. “Spasibo. Yesli ya ne prichinil tebe vreda, pochemu ty plakal?”  _ (Thank you. If I didn’t hurt you why have you been crying?) _

“Obeshchayu, ty nichego ne sdelal. YA v poryadke.”  _ (I promise it’s nothing you did. I’m fine.) _

Steve and Sam decided it was necessary to go to Siberia. If these other super soldiers are there you’re going to need back up. Tony, Nat, Rhodey, and Vision are out since they are supporting the accords. Tony has been keeping Wanda confined to the compound through Vision. You thought she was just choosing to stay inside. Thor is still in Asgard and Bruce is still doing research with Dr. Cho. So that leaves Clint and possibly Wanda to help. Sam also brings up Scott Lang, he calls him tic tac. You eventually told him you knew the shrinking guy's identity and told him to give Scott a break. 

You talked Sam into calling Clint. His face was full of questions but he still did it. You called Scott and he was adorably excited to help the Avengers. Clint is going to pick up Wanda and Scott, and meet up at an airport where Clint has secured a helicopter for you all to take. 

Steve is clearly not happy about needing Clint to be involved, but you had limited options. You’re worried about being around Clint because you don’t want to upset Steve more. And you also haven’t talked to Clint since that day in the park. The tension between you and Steve could be cut with a knife. Bucky and Sam are picking up on it too.

When Steve and Sam went to the facility you and Bucky were being held at their suits were confiscated. So Steve called Sharon Carter to see if she could or would help get them back. Of course she happily agreed to help Steve. The boys find a car to “borrow” and you all pile into the car to go meet Sharon. Steve drives and Sam sits up front. You sit in the back with Bucky.

Bucky taps you on the leg to get your attention. “Vy dvoye ssorites' iz-za menya?”  _ (Are you two fighting because of me?) _

You shake your head no and give him a sad smile. “Net, ya skazal tebe, chto ty nichego ne sdelal.”  _ (No, I told you it’s nothing you did.) _

Sam turns around in his seat and scowls at you. “Are you really going to pull that Russian crap you do with Nat with this guy now?” You roll your eyes at him. “You’re just annoyed you can’t eavesdrop. So shut up.” 

When you reach the meeting spot Sharon is already there. Steve tells everyone to wait in the car. You internally scoff at him. He’s standing next to the trunk of her car which is open, as he talks to her. Getting annoyed by seeing Sharon’s stupid face you turn your head and look out your window away from Steve. 

You hear Sam mutter “Shit” under his breath. So you turn your head and look out the front window. You didn’t think it was possible for your heart to possibly break anymore. But you find out you are very wrong when you see Steve and Sharon are kissing. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder I'm just briefly going through the events of Civil War. Only parts really pertinent to the story. So I'm not putting a whole lot detail into the fighting and such.
> 
> I'm setting it up to where the reader is going to have to choose soon.

CHAPTER 24

  
  


Steve keeps looking at you through the rearview mirror. You can see in your peripheral, but you refuse to look at him. It’s already hard enough to hold back your tears. You don’t know who kissed who first, but it doesn’t really matter. You’re assuming he wanted to get you back for what you did. Revenge is best served cold as they say. But no matter how much it hurts you can’t do anything about it because you fucked up first.

It’s a very long, awkward silent drive to the airport you're meeting your friends at. You feel bad for Sam and Bucky being caught in the middle of this fight between you and Steve. When you finally arrive at the airport you let the boys file out first. Sam and Bucky jumped out quick, and you can’t blame them for that one bit. 

You take a deep breath to steel your nerves. When you climb out of the car you walk around it and lean against it with your arms crossed over your chest. Steve is talking to Clint in a very cold and emotionless voice. Next to Clint is Wanda. Then you see Clint pull open the van they arrived in and Scott is lying in the back half asleep. 

Scott groggily climbs out and then you notice Clint is watching you. Scott wipes the sleep out of his eyes and excitedly starts talking to Steve once he realizes Captain America is standing in front of him. Of course Clint immediately starts walking towards you. You have mixed feelings about seeing him. On one hand you’ve missed him, but on the other hand you don’t want to make things worse with Steve. 

When Clint reaches you he puts his hands on your face and gives you a worried look. “Are you alright darlin’? I’ve been so worried about you. Sam told me what happened when you found Barnes, and the whole shit show after that.” Even though you can’t see past Clint, you know Steve is watching. You give Clint a slight nod and pull his hands off your face. “M’fine Clint.”

He scoffs at you. “That was your worst attempt ever at lying. What’s wrong?” Oh how you just want to hug him, and have him tell you everything will be okay. But again, you don’t need to give Steve more reasons to be mad. You can feel the tears starting to well up in your eyes again, so you decide to start signing to Clint instead of talking. 

_ Y: I told him about the kiss. He knew I was hiding something. _

_ C: How pissed is he? _

_ Y: He kissed Sharon to get back at me. _

_ C: I’m going to punch him in the face again. _

_ Y: I really missed you. But we need to focus on the mission first. _

_ C: Fine I’ll punch him once the mission is over. I really missed you too. _

Steve interrupts your conversation. “Are you two done? How about you pay attention and join the rest of the team.” You bite your lip and roll your eyes. Clint is blocking you so no one saw it but him. Clint gives you a small smile. “Come on gramps is pissy because he didn’t get his afternoon nap.” You bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing. Not a good moment to burst into laughter.

Clint and you make your way over to the group. Scott sees you and his adorable face lights up. He’s completely oblivious to the tension that’s building. “(Y/N)! I missed you my friend!” He pulls you into one of his awkward hugs. And actually you really needed a hug. So you hug him back, and can’t help but smile at him. “Hey Scotty. Thanks for helping us out.”

Suddenly alarms start going off and an alert comes over the intercom to evacuate. Steve looks at Bucky and Sam. “Stark must have found us. Everyone suit up.” Clint being the wonderful best friend he is, grabbed your gear when he picked up Wanda. You stay by the van instead of following Steve. 

“Thank you Clint.” You say just barely above a whisper as you grab your stuff. He grabs your chin with his thumb and forefinger. “Hey, after we deal with these other super soldiers we’ll work everything out okay. I promise darlin’.” You give him a small smile and nod your head.

When your group is almost to the helicopter Clint had ready everything goes to shit. Kind of an ongoing theme for you recently. Tony showed up with Nat, Rhodey, Vision, some young kid named Peter Parker, and T’Challa. 

Steve tried reasoning with Tony but of course it got nowhere. Secretary Ross told him he had 36 hours to bring all of you back in. He thinks the story of Bucky being framed is just that, a story. Because he can’t prove otherwise. Sam locates the Quinjet the other team arrived in and decides to take that instead since the helicopter isn’t going anywhere. 

Both teams start fighting. T’Challa had it out for you and Bucky. He still believes both of you had something to do with the UN bombing. The guy is dressed like a panther and his suit is made of vibranium. Your arrows are useless against it. 

At one point you all try making a run for the jet but the fighting just gets worse. Sam calls out through the comms.  _ “You guys go, we’re not all going to make it. We’ll hold them back.”  _ He’s referring to Steve, Bucky, and you. 

Then you hear Clint’s voice.  _ “As much as I hate to agree, some of us are going to have to lose in order to win this one. Get out of here while you can.”  _ You instantly feel panicked because they will all be arrested. “Clint you asshole don’t be stupid. You’ll be arrested.”

Clint laughs.  _ “And I’ll still be your stupid asshole when you come back and find us. Now go!” _ You groan, you don’t like this at all. But you force yourself to keep running as fast as you can. Vision tries blocking the way in to get to the jet but Wanda holds him back. Scott reversed his suit and instead of shrinking he grew the size of a building. 

The three of you make it onto the jet. Sam and Clint keep Tony and Rhodey from following once you leave. Steve is flying the jet. You’re sitting in the back with Bucky. You're leaning over with your elbows on your knees and your face in your hands. Never in your entire career have you ever left anyone behind. This feels so wrong and you’re worried about everyone, especially Clint. You know Steve heard you and Clint talking through the comms. That probably made things worse for you. He doesn’t know about the inside joke the two of you have, about Clint being your asshole. 

Bucky lets out a sigh next to you, pulling you from your thoughts. “I’m not worth all of this trouble you guys. What’s going to happen to your friends?”

Slowly you remove your hands from your face and look at Bucky. “Hey this isn’t your fault. And as soon as this mission is over we’ll go find them.” Steve glances over his shoulder. “Ya Buck, this isn’t your fault. No one blames you.”

The trip to Siberia is quiet after that. Steve has yet to even acknowledge your on the damn jet. You don’t want to be fighting with him if you’re going to be fighting some other crazy ass super soldiers together. After mentally giving yourself a pep talk you go to the front of the jet. 

Steve’s wearing a frown on his face. You awkwardly clear your throat. “Um….Steve can we please put our issues aside for now? We’re going to have to work together on this, especially since there’s only three of us now.” 

His face softens a little and you hear him take a deep breath. “You’re right. Yes, we’ll focus on the mission, and the other stuff later.” You nod your head and mumble out a thank you, and start to walk away. Steve gently puts a hand on your arm to stop you. For the first time in what feels like forever he actually looks you in the eyes. His beautiful blue eyes are full of sadness. “I’m sorry doll.”

“I’m sorry too Steve.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned in the beginning I'm writing two endings. That way the reader ends up with who you want. This is the last chapter to set up the endings. 
> 
> **UPDATE - I had a request to add an alternate ending for Bucky. So now you have your pick of either Steve, Clint, or Bucky.**

CHAPTER 25

  
  


Siberia didn’t go as planned at all. The fake doctor who framed Bucky was there. He had already killed the other Winter Soldiers as they slept in their cryo chambers. The empire he wanted to see fall was the Avengers. He lost his family in Sokovia when the Avengers were fighting Ultron, so he wanted revenge. 

Tony showed up shortly after the three of you arrived. He said he was calling a truce and came to help. That is until it came to light that Bucky was ordered to kill Tony’s parents all those years ago. Tony was determined to have Bucky’s head on a spike. Steve fought Tony off while you got Bucky back to the Quinjet. 

T’Challa was outside by the jet, he apprehended the fake doctor that had run off during the fight. T’Challa heard everything and apologized to you and Bucky. Then he let you leave. Steve made it onto the jet after he royally fucked up Tony’s iron man suit. 

Now the three of you are in hiding while working out a plan to get your friends out of prison. Steve, much to your dismay, called Sharon once again for information. She knew the location of where they are being held. It’s called the raft and it's a prison floating in the middle of nowhere in the ocean. 

How do you sneak onto a floating prison without being noticed? That’s what you and Steve are racking your brains trying to figure out. Bucky is helping too. He feels partially responsible even though both you and Steve told him he wasn’t. You and Steve haven’t reconciled, but you're on speaking terms. You have yet to talk out your issues. Missions seem to keep getting in the way of that. Neither of you have spoken to the rest of the team that’s not currently imprisoned either. One step at a time. 

A thought finally hits you. “Oh my god! I have an idea!” You start jumping up and down in excitement. Why didn’t you think of this sooner? Steve and Bucky just look at you questioningly but they also look amused. “Okay so the Quinjet we have sucks. It’s basically the stock model, Tony hadn’t upgraded it yet. I know where a jet is hidden that has stealth tech on it. So we can fly above the raft and drop down inside without being seen. Someone will have to stay in the jet though so they can pull us up and take off as soon as we make it back out.”

Steve looks at you thoughtfully. “How do you know if this jet is still where you last saw it? How risky is it going to be to get to it?”

“Well I know it’s still there and I only have to get past an angry wife.” Steve’s face immediately turns into an angry frown when he realizes who you are referring to. “Why is there a jet on Barton’s property? I don’t remember seeing one.”

You knew he would get pissy when you had to tell him where it was and how it got there. You always thought it was a funny story. “So when Clint and I were still with Shield we had a difficult mission. When we made it out in one piece we decided to celebrate. The celebration entailed us getting completely smashed and stealing a Quinjet from Shield’s hanger. We didn’t want to fess up to stealing it so we kept it hidden on his property. The stealth tech is activated so it’s hidden from plain sight. The remote to deactivate it and unlock it is hidden in a safe in Clint’s house. That’s where the angry wife part comes in. She doesn’t know about the jet.”

Bucky has been laughing almost the entire time you were telling the story, which was making you smile as you were telling it. Steve, however, is being a killjoy because the story involved Clint. Most of your good stories do involve Clint so he shouldn’t be surprised. “So you two were flying a jet while you were drunk?”

You see Bucky roll his eyes at Steve. You huff and put your hands on your hips. “No we most certainly did not. It has auto pilot thank you very much. But the only coordinates Clint could remember at the time in his drunken state was his house. Which is why we hid the jet there. It was a brand new one too, it was a prototype they were still testing. I’m pretty sure Fury suspected us, but he never said anything.” Steve wants to smile at your babbling, but you can tell he’s forcing himself not to. Bucky on the other hand just keeps laughing. Which makes your day to see him smile after everything the poor man has been through. 

Steve finally relents and agrees your plan is actually the best idea any of you have had. So you head to Clint’s house. You’re hoping you don’t make things worse for him. But it’s the only way you’re going to be able to get him out of that prison. So you’re hoping Laura will be understanding. 

Steve now seems to have a permanent frown on his face. But you decide not to say anything. Now’s not the time. When you arrive at Clint’s home Steve lands the Quinjet in a clearing within the forest area just like Clint did forever ago when you were hiding because of Ultron. When you walk out of the forest and Clint’s house is visible you see the kids playing outside. The second they see you they squeal and go running towards you. “Auntie (Y/N)!” They both barrel into you almost knocking you over. “Hey guys. It’s been a while, I’ve missed you so much.”

They both look around to see who’s with you. “Is our daddy with you?” You’re not sure what to say because you’re not sure what Laura has told them. Steve decides to help you out. “He’s not with us, but we’re going to go see him soon. We just need to talk to your mom first.” They both let out another excited squeal and run back to the house calling for Laura. 

She comes running out of the front door holding their youngest child who’s a few months old now. You can practically see the fire in her eyes from a distance. She storms over to the three of you while still holding the baby. You’re expecting a slap to the face but she actually slaps Steve. The relief is short lived though because after she slaps Steve she turns and slaps you. “Where is my husband?! He left because of the two of you, then he gets arrested!”

Steve puts his hands up to placate her. “I apologize ma’am it’s my fault, and I promise we’re going to make it right. (Y/N) figured out a way to get him out. That’s why we’re here.” 

She turns toward you and narrows her eyes. “And exactly how do you plan on doing that?” You tell Laura about the jet. You didn’t think it was possible for her to look any more furious, but boy were you wrong. “While you were slutting around with my husband on a jet where was I?”

You decide to ignore the slut comment. “You and the kids were away at your parent’s house. No one was here.”

“So you slept in MY house with MY husband when I wasn’t home?!” You start shaking your head repeatedly. “No I swear. I slept in the jet, well more like passed out. But still I was in the jet. Then in the morning we drove back to the city with his spare car. Right now I just need to get into the safe to get the remote for the jet. Then we’ll be on our way.”

She stares intimidatingly into your eyes for a moment. “I don’t know the combination. He never gave it to me.” You ready yourself to be hit again. “I know the combination. He gave it to me for in case of emergency situations, like now for example.”

Instead of hitting you she starts laughing humorlessly. “Oh of course he did. I shouldn’t be surprised.” Then she starts walking away back towards the house. Bucky is feeling awkward and out of place so he waits outside as you and Steve follow Laura inside. She storms into his office and slides a wall panel to the side and points to the safe. You make your way over to the safe and put in the combination. Just as it clicks open Laura asks you a question.

“What did he use for the combination? He uses meaningful dates for things so he can remember.” Of course she would ask that question. You sigh and your shoulders slump. “Laura, listen he made it easy so I could…” Laura cuts you off. “No excuses! Answer the question!”

“My birthday.” 

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Figures.” She mutters and storms out of the room. You glance at Steve and he has an unreadable expression on his face. That’s not a good sign. You turn back to the safe and dig around until you find the object you’re looking for. Then close it back up and show Steve you got it. He takes off back out of the house without another word. 

  
  


You feel like public enemy number one right now, and just want to break down and cry. But you don’t. You’re on a mission to save your friends. 

After a lot of arguing with Steve, Bucky agreed to stay on the jet while you and Steve break into the raft. Bucky also didn’t want to chance accidentally hurting more people. Steve wanted to make you stay on the jet, but you flat out refused. 

It was decided to arrive at night. Less chance of visibility so you could sneak in easier. Bucky holds the jet above the raft at a safe distance, and turns on a device that scrambles radio signals. So the guards inside can’t report the breach until it’s too late. Steve and you slide down some rope onto the raft. Steve wanted to jump, but it would have made too much noise. 

Once inside you disable the alarm system. Then both you and Steve start taking out each guard one by one. You will never admit this out loud. But Sharon actually helped a lot. She had the exact coordinates of the prison and also the blue prints. So you knew exactly where to go to find your friends. The last guard outside the door you need to get through doesn’t want to go down. Steve ends up hitting him hard with his shield and the guy flies into the door that's standing between you and your friends. The door breaks down and you see four cells inside and four confused faces that suddenly turn in to smiles when they realize what’s happening. Sam smiles wide. “Aren’t you guys a sight for sore eyes.” 

Steve goes to Sam’s cell. You go directly to Clint’s. “Hey you stupid asshole.” He laughs at that and gives you a bright smile. “I told you I’d still be your stupid asshole when you came back and found us.” You shake your head at him as you’re getting his door open you hear someone calling out for you. “(Y/N) don’t forget about me! Please?”

“Hold on Scotty. You’re next, don't worry that adorable face of yours. I wouldn’t leave you in this hell hole.” You finally get Clint’s cell open and he jumps out pulling you in for a bone crushing hug. He releases you so you can get Scott out. “So darlin’ how did you get here?”

“Ya about that. Remember that jet we stole ages ago?” Clint’s eyes go wide. “Ya sorry, you’re probably in a shit ton more trouble with Laura, but we needed it to get in here.”

Clint shakes his head and smiles. “What else is new, I’m always in trouble. At least that thing finally came in handy after all this time.”

You get Scott’s door open and he jumps out like Clint did and hugs you tight. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Steve now has Sam and Wanda out of their cells, so you all file out of the room to make your way back outside. 

Just before you get out of the door Clint stops you. He pulls you flush against him. “I have missed you so much darlin’.” Then he crashes his lips into yours. 

Steve doubled back to see what was keeping you and make sure you were okay. He walks in on you and Clint kissing. 


	26. Steve's Ending Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are the much anticipated final chapters. I hope I don't disappoint.
> 
> These are alternate endings. The chapters are labeled for whomever you wanted the reader to end up with. You can skip to chapter 29 if you wanted it to be Clint.
> 
> The beginnings of both start similar to tie up the story line. But I assure you they are both very different.

CHAPTER 26

Steve’s Ending Part 1

  
  


Sitting in the window watching the heavy rainfall trying to clear your mind isn’t working. The weather is kind of fitting for your mood though. A stray tear spills down your cheek. Even though he’s residing just down the hall from you it feels like he’s far away. You miss Steve so much. 

After breaking into the raft and getting your friends out the truth was finally revealed thanks to T’Challa, proving Bucky didn’t bomb the UN. The accords ended up not passing so those bullshit laws were retracted. 

Steve eventually reached out to Tony. Tony pulled every string, and called in every favor he could to get all the charges dropped against the Avengers. When he accomplished that he asked all of you to come home, back to the compound. However, Steve refused to come back without Bucky and so did you. Tony wanted nothing to do with Bucky. But the only way the entire team would come back is with Bucky. So he finally gave in but he wanted Bucky to stay clear of him and on his own side of the compound. Bucky again argued he wasn’t worth the trouble but you and Steve weren’t hearing it and convinced him otherwise. 

The entire team came back home except for Clint who is now retired. After he kissed you on the raft, you gently pushed him away. He knew in that moment that you chose Steve. You told Clint you will always love him, but he needed to go home and salvage what was left of his marriage. You completely cut off contact with him, and told him if or when him and Laura get to a good place again that you’ll be waiting for him. The two of you have known each other for so long and been through so much you won’t throw that friendship away. But you need to step aside for a while. 

When Clint was returned home the two of you hugged each other tight and cried. It hurts and you miss him like crazy but you know it was the right thing. 

You didn’t know until later that Steve saw the kiss. When you all returned back to the compound you and Steve finally sat down to talk. He was hurt and rightfully so. He said he thought it was best if you two took a break for a while. That was a few months ago. The two of you only talk in training or on missions when necessary. You’ve turned into a bit of a recluse. So your friends take turns dragging you out of your room. Especially Bucky.

Both you and Steve explained to Bucky on separate occasions what happened between you. You assumed he would hate you for hurting his best friend. So you would steer clear of him, to avoid making things awkward. But he started seeking you out on his own. He said what happened was between you and Steve, and wasn’t his business. He just needed a friend. Of course he had Steve, but Bucky feels obligated to try and behave like the old Bucky that Steve knew when they’re together. With you he doesn’t have to do that, and he said he meant what he told you back in Bucharest when he said he liked you. 

There’s no romantic feelings between you and Bucky. You both really just needed a friend. In a way you filled the hole Clint left with Bucky, but it's a much less complicated friendship.

The sound of your bedroom door opening pulls you from your thoughts. You already know who it is without looking. “Sure Bucky, come on in. Did you forget how to knock?” Bucky scoffs at you. “Well kukla, when I knock you don’t answer. So I’m just saving myself from the hassle.” He has started calling you kukla, it means doll in Russian. He forgot Steve called you doll, but was reminded when you cried the first time he said it to you. So he says it in Russian now.

Bucky comes and stands next to where you’re sitting in the window. “When’s the last time you ate?” You just shrug your shoulders. He sighs at you in annoyance. “Well let's stop the wallowing for a while and go get something to eat.” You know he’s not going to give up or go away unless you agree. He’s picked you up and carried you out of your room before. 

“Fine.” You huff out as you roll your eyes. You reach for his left hand since it's closest to you to pull yourself up but he quickly pulls it away and extends his right hand. He goes out of his way to not use his metal left arm around people because he’s worried about hurting someone. Which is starting to annoy you. 

You follow Bucky to the dining room. He already ordered chinese food for both of you. As soon as you smell the food your stomach starts growling. You see Bucky smirking at you. “Not a peep from you mister.” He doesn’t say anything but he keeps smiling at you. 

Nat and Bruce come through being disgustingly adorable. You and Steve used to be disgustingly adorable. Even though seeing how happy they are makes you feel sad you are actually really happy for them. Nat leans over your shoulder and steals a bite of your food. “Hey! Bucky orders enough to feed a small army. Get your own plate.” She laughs and sits down next to you. Bruce sits down next to her. Then she starts talking to Bucky like you aren’t even there. 

“Tebe prishlos' snova vytaskivat' yeye segodnya?”  _ (Did you have to drag her out again today?) _

“Na udivleniye net. Na etot raz prishel okhotno.”  _ (Surprisingly no. Came willingly this time.) _

“Nu eto progress”  _ (Well that’s progress.) _

You roll your eyes and look between the two of them. “You two are such jerks. I’m right here you know, and can clearly understand you.” Bruce looks around the table confused. “What did I miss?” Nat starts laughing at him and kisses him on the cheek. Not wanting to watch their PDA you turn your head away. 

Well now you wished that you would have just sucked it up because when you turn your head you lay eyes on Steve. Which wouldn’t be completely terrible in itself, but he’s got Sharon Carter hanging off his arm. They’re laughing as they’re talking and she has her arm looped through his. 

Bucky sees the look on your face and follows the direction you're looking in. “Kukla, I’m sure it’s not what it looks like.” You ignore him and push yourself up, knocking your chair over in the process, and take off running down the hall until you get to your room.

Nat storms across the room towards Steve. He doesn’t notice her until it's too late. She slaps him in the back of the head. “You’re a goddamn asshole, you know that?!” Bucky gives Steve a dirty look and shakes his head at him. Then takes off to go find you. Steve stands there confused as he rubs the back of his head. 

It took Bucky two days to get you out of your room after that. And he talked you out of quitting the team. If Steve starts dating Sharon you can’t handle having it thrown in your face. Bucky promised he’d throw the bitch out himself if he had to because he didn’t want you to leave.

You wake in the middle of the night covered in sweat and short of breath. The nightmares have come back. It seems when you’re stressed out is when they start up. And you’ve been stressed out for months. Nights like this you miss having Steve to curl up next to. Or Clint’s room to climb into, but he’s home with his wife and kids where he should be. 

Unable to go back to sleep after the nightmare you roll out of bed and head towards the kitchen. You didn’t bother changing. You’re only wearing a tank top and some shorts. At least you don’t have to worry about running into Steve. He’s out on a mission with Sam. 

After grabbing your beloved tub of ice cream you hop on the counter and start stuffing your feelings away. About 10 minutes later Bucky enters the kitchen. He doesn’t need to turn the light on to know you’re sitting there in the dark. 

“What’s wrong kukla?” When you don’t answer he moves to stand in front of you and puts one hand on the counter on each side of you caging you in. “Nightmare.” You whisper to him. He understands that since he still has plenty of his own. Which is probably why he’s awake.

“They’re bothering you again? You could have come to me instead of the ice cream you know?”

You scoff at him. “Startling a super soldier wrestling with PTSD sounds like a terrible idea to me.” 

“Fair point, but I can sense when it's you now. I’d never hurt you. So next time you can if you want. I’m sure I’ll be awake anyway.” You set the ice cream down and put your right hand on top of his left. He quickly pulls it away. “If you would never hurt me, let me see your left hand. This is getting ridiculous.” When he doesn’t make any movements you roll your eyes at him and lean forward grabbing his left arm. He doesn’t pull away this time so you bend his arm and turn his palm towards you. You hold his left hand with your right and lace your fingers together. “See it’s only a weapon if you make it a weapon. I trust that you won’t hurt me with this hand. You need to trust yourself too.”

Bucky wraps his right arm around you. “Thank you kukla.” 

You were unaware that Steve and Sam recently returned from their mission. Steve passes by the kitchen and sees you and Bucky. You're still in your sleep clothes. He knows you must be up eating ice cream because you had a nightmare. Then he sees you and Bucky hold hands and embrace each other. Not wanting to watch anymore he takes off angrily to his room.

The next time you have another nightmare you decide to go to Bucky’s room and hope you don’t startle him. Thankfully he happened to be awake. He pulls the blankets back and opens his arms without a word, so you go lay down next to him. Both of you quickly fall back to sleep. 

Steve starts heading towards Bucky’s room early in the morning to see if he wants to run with him today. He knows Bucky is still having some trouble sleeping and he wants to talk to him about (Y/N). He stops dead in his tracks at the far end of the hallway as he sees you leaving his best friends bedroom. You’re only wearing a tight tank top and short shorts. You’re still half asleep so you don’t notice him as you make your way back to your own room. Steve storms off back the way he came and goes running alone instead. 

A little later in the morning you have training. You force yourself to get up and go. If you get it over with fast enough you can get away from Steve faster. As you get closer to the gym you hear shouting. Lots and lots of shouting. When you get to the door you see Steve and Bucky shoving each other. Steve takes a swing at Bucky but he catches Steve’s fist with his left hand. You storm into the room. “That’s enough! Both of you stop it! What the fuck are you fighting about?!”

Steve rips his hand away from Bucky. “Training is cancelled for today.” Then he takes off in a hurry out of the room. You turn towards Bucky with your hands on your hips and quirk an eyebrow at him. “What the fuck?”

Bucky sits down in a chair that was nearby and wipes his flesh hand down his face. “Sorry kukla.” You move closer, standing in front of him with your arms crossed waiting expectantly. Bucky groans because he knows you won’t let it go. “He’s just being a punk, and stupid. Very very stupid. He thinks we’re sleeping together.”

You laugh at that. “Well I did sleep next to you, so it’s partially true. Why the fuck does he care anyway? He’s been blatantly clear he wants nothing to do with me.”

Now it’s Bucky’s turn to laugh. “He does care kukla. He’s just being a stubborn ass. Why didn’t you ever tell him you completely cut Barton off?” You shrug your shoulders. “Because it shouldn’t matter. It was my choice. But if Steve were to ever actually have a conversation with me then maybe it might have came up.”

Why does Steve care about what you do anyway? You’re pretty sure he’s got something going on with Sharon. Plus he’s been ignoring you for months. It’s a hindrance to him when he does have to speak to you. And despite everything you're still hopelessly in love with the man.


	27. Steve's Ending Part 2

CHAPTER 27

Steve’s Ending Part 2

  
  


It’s been about a week since Steve and Bucky had that argument in the gym. Two days later Steve sent Bucky out on a mission with Sam. Which you actually find hilarious because those two bicker like an old married couple. 

So with Bucky gone you find yourself alone again in the dark kitchen with your ice cream after having another nightmare. This is certainly not a direction you saw your life going. You’re so mentally exhausted, you’ve considered taking a couple months off. Maybe if you don’t have to see Steve everyday you can finally force yourself to move on. 

As if your thoughts summoned him, Steve comes wandering into the kitchen. Fuck my life is what you start repeating in your head. Steve is not as on alert in the dark as Bucky so he doesn’t see you. Maybe if you stay completely still he’ll get what he needs and go away. But of course that’s not what happens. He turns the light above the stove on and he sees a person on the counter next to him. He startles and jumps back. “Oh fuck! Dammit (Y/N) you scared the shit out of me.”

You put the lid back on your ice cream and give him a quiet reply. “Sorry, I’ll get out of your way.” You’re about to jump off the counter but he puts his hand in front of you to stop you. He’s not quite touching you, but he’s close. “No, (Y/N) you don’t have to do that.”

He grabs a spoon and jumps up on the counter next to you. He points to the ice cream with his spoon. “May I?” You give him a small smile and nod your head. He looks at you in a way he hasn’t for what feels like forever, like he truly cares. “Did your nightmares come back?”

You shrug your shoulders. “Ya they come and go. You?”

“Ya mine do too. Listen, I’m not going back to sleep anytime soon, and I doubt you are either. Do you want to watch a movie together?” 

Déjà vue hits you. This is just like that first night he found you awake when you were avoiding Clint. Just shortly before you actually started dating. That night with Steve was a good memory. But this isn’t the same, he doesn’t feel the same about you. Feeling overcome with sadness you jump off the counter. “I’m sorry Steve but I can’t do this.”

You take off running back to your room. Once you get inside the door you rest your back against the door and slide down to the floor holding your face in your hands as you sob.

The next day you stay in your room all day. Both Bucky and Nat are out so they won’t be storming in and forcing you to come out. For some reason the nightmares never hit you in the daytime when you’re sleeping like a cat all day. But as soon as night falls they come. 

The nightmare you hate most haunts you tonight. The one where you shoot Clint, but there’s a twist. This time Steve is there too and it plays on repeat you shooting them over and over. 

You wake to the sound of someone screaming, and then you realize it’s your own screams. Then you feel hands on your face, and your name being called repeatedly. It startles you and you open your eyes and see worried blue eyes looking back at you. Your chest is heaving from you trying to catch your breath. “Steve?” You croak out, your throat is sore from the screaming.

“Ya doll, it’s me. Sorry for letting myself in, but I heard you screaming.” After that horrible nightmare you’re relieved to see that he’s okay and that it was in fact just a nightmare. So you quickly sit up and throw your arms around him and start crying. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you. He runs his hands up and down your back telling you it’s okay.

Once you calm down you slowly pull away from him. “Thank you. I’m alright now if you wanna go.” He puts both of his hands on your face and wipes your tears away. “Do you really want me to leave?” You shrug your shoulders. “Doesn’t matter what I want.”

“Doll that’s not true.” You just realized that’s the second time he’s called you doll and he hasn’t called you that for months. When you don’t say anything he tries again. “Can I stay?” When you look into his eyes you can tell he’s being sincere. So you slowly nod your head. He gives you a small smile, then climbs further into your bed and opens his arms. You hesitate for a moment, but eventually give in and lay down with your head on his chest just like you always used to. Then he wraps his big strong arms around you. This feels like home to you, like where you belong. 

You both lay there quietly for a while. Even if you feel comfortable and safe in Steve’s arms your mind is too wired to go back to sleep. Steve breaks the silence. “You’re thinking too hard doll.”

“Sorry. You haven’t called me doll since the day after I found Bucky. I’ve missed it.”

“I’ve missed you.” He says barely above a whisper. That was an unexpected response, it catches you off guard. So you don’t think before you speak. “How can you miss me if you’re dating Sharon?”

“I’m not dating Sharon. Why would you think that?” You sit up part way, leaning on one arm. “Seriously? I saw you with her a few weeks ago.” Steve sits up leaning on one arm mimicking your position. “Are you talking about the day Natasha hit me upside the head and called me an asshole?”

You snort out a laugh at that. You didn’t know she did that. Steve gives you a small smile when he hears your laugh. “I’m glad me getting hit in the head makes you so happy.” He says teasingly. “That day you saw me with Sharon I told her I would meet her somewhere but she showed up here instead. I wanted to sit down and have a conversation with her. I guess to let her down gently. I told her I didn’t have feelings for her and apologized for kissing her and leading her on. She actually slapped me after that conversation so I got hit twice that day.”

You bite your lip and stare at him incredulously. 

“That would have been nice to know sooner. I almost quit that night, leaving the team. Bucky talked me out of it.” 

Steve’s face falls and he breaks eye contact. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way doll. I’m glad you didn’t leave. Since I answered you about Sharon. Will you tell me if you have feelings for Bucky?”

He’s still not looking at you. He has his eyes pointed downward. So you gently grip his chin with your thumb and forefinger tilting his head up so that he looks at you. “Only friendship feelings. There’s nothing going on between me and Bucky. I really needed a friend, and he needed another friend besides you. I’m in here sulking all the time over how much I miss you, and he comes storming in here and drags my ass out. We kind of take turns helping each other.”

His frown turns into a smile. “So you do miss me?” You scoff at him and roll your eyes. “I thought that was fairly obvious.”

“I know I‘ve been really cold towards you and I’m sorry for that. I just kept seeing the image of you and Barton kissing over and over. It was like having a wound repeatedly ripped open every time. It hurt, it still does. But I know I also did the same thing to you with Sharon. I regretted it the second it happened. I’m sorry for that.”

You take a deep breath and bite your lip trying to will your tears away so you can say what you need to say. “Do you remember what you said to me about Peggy? About how you idealized her and fantasy overtook the facts? Well I think Clint and I did that with each other. By the time I figured that out it was too late. I’m sorry for hurting you and I’m sorry for breaking what we had.”

Steve cups your cheek with one hand. “I broke a promise I made you.” You frown at that. You pour your heart out and he brings up something random. He smiles at your confused face. “I promised to tell you every day how much I love you. I have completely failed to follow through with that. So I think I’ll start making up for it. (Y/N) I am still deeply in love with you. I love you so much doll.”

A steady flow of tears start streaming down your face. “I love you too Steve.” 

He still has his hand on your face and slowly leans forward and gently presses his lips to yours. It's the best feeling having his lips against yours again after all this time. He starts out moving his lips gently. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down with you as you lay back on the bed. Then he deepens the kiss. Slow deep kiss, one after another just like the first time you kissed. He slips his tongue into your mouth making you moan into his. When he breaks the kiss he presses his forehead to yours. “I have missed you so much doll, but should we stop?”

“Have you been with anyone else?” You whisper, because you’re afraid of the answer. You can feel him moving his forehead against yours. “No doll, only you. I swear. Have you?”

“No baby, you’re the only one that I want. I’m all in, not halfway in if you can forgive me.” He kisses you gently once more. “I’m all in doll. Will you be my best girl again, and only mine? Because I can’t lose you a second time.”

“Yes. You have all of me I promise.” You say against his lips and resume kissing him. He moves so he’s laying between your legs. The kiss quickly gets heated. You can feel his hard length pressing against your core. You slip your hands under his shirt and try pulling him impossibly closer and grind against him. He breaks the kiss to catch his breath. “Are you sure doll?” 

“Yes, baby I need you. I need to feel you again.”

He quickly removes his clothes but he takes his time removing yours. It’s like he’s trying to kiss every inch of your skin that he possibly can. Once you’re completely bare beneath him he admires your body and runs the tips of his fingers across your bare skin. “You’re so beautiful doll.”

“You’re not so bad yourself handsome.”

He positions himself back between your thighs and leans down to capture your lips for a kiss. He moves one hand between your bodies and slides his hard length through your wet folds. Then lines himself up with your entrance slowly pushing in. He moans against your lips. “You’re so tight doll.”

He keeps pushing until he’s fully sheathed inside you making you both moan. “Baby I missed having you inside me.” Steve kisses along your neck. “Me too doll.” Then he grabs one of your hands lacing your fingers together and rests your joined hands next to your head on the bed. You wrap your legs around his hips as he slowly pulls out almost all the way and slowly pushes back in. He keeps a slow pace but goes deep each time.

He’s taken his time with you before but this is different. This isn’t just sex or make up sex. He’s making love to you. 

He goes back to kissing your lips, and slips his tongue into your mouth deepening the kiss. He doesn’t stop until you both are in dire need of air. Then he moves his lips along your jaw and kisses his way back down your neck.

Steve’s leaning on his free arm to keep his weight off you, you use it as leverage to roll him over so that you're sitting on top of him. The sudden position change surprised him. You smile and lean over him. “It’s my turn.” He smiles back at you as you grab his hand and lace your fingers together resting your joined hand next to his head on the bed. Just like he had done. His free hand goes to your hip. With yours you run your fingers through his hair, and look straight into his eyes. “I love you Steve.”

“I love you too doll.”

As you lean down to resume kissing him you start moving your hips. He moans into your mouth. You start out moving slow. Then kiss your way along his jaw and then down his neck. You roll your hips and pick up the speed while keeping your face buried in his neck. 

There’s a fine sheen of sweat starting to cover both of your bodies. Steve moves his hand from your hip and into your hair. Gently he lifts your head up so he can kiss you. 

When it gets too difficult to continue kissing you rest your forehead against his so you’re basically breathing each other's air. He starts moving his hips with yours and you can feel yourself on the edge. “Baby I’m close.”

“Me too doll. Come for me.” A few more hard thrusts and rolls of the hips and you’re calling out his name as he pushes you over the edge and feel like you're seeing stars as you reach your climax. Steve moans out your name and squeezes your still joined hands tighter as he reaches his own and comes deep inside you. 

Steve releases your hand that he was squeezing and wraps both of his arms around you holding you tight against his body and he’s still inside you. “I missed you so much doll.” You lift your head up so you can see his beautiful face. “I missed you too baby.” He pulls you down for one more kiss and then releases his hold on you.

You roll off him and lay side by side facing each other. Steve gives you a shy smile. “Can I ask you something doll?”

“Anything.”

“After everything we went through to get here I don’t want to spend anymore time away from you than I have to. How would you feel about moving in together finally? Or do you think I’m jumping the gun here?”

He’s biting his lip looking at you nervously. You put your hand on his face and with your thumb you free his bottom lip. “My room or yours baby?” He gives you the brightest smile you think you’ve ever seen on his face. He excitedly grabs your face and crashes his lips against yours. 

“Doesn’t matter to me doll, as long as we’re together.”

Steve holds you tightly in his arms all night long. For the first time in months you feel whole again. You’re right where you want to be, in the arms of the man you love. 

The next morning when you open your eyes you see blue ones already looking at you. “Were you really watching me sleep?” Steve smiles at you. “I was just happy when I woke up and saw you next me.” He rolls on top of you and starts kissing your face and neck playfully. 

You hear your bedroom door open, and decide not to say anything. That’s what he gets for not knocking, an eye full of Steve’s sexy ass. You have a sheet over you and Steve’s covering the rest of you with his body, but he’s not covered up at all. 

“Oh dear god!”

Steve turns his head at the sound of his best friend's voice. You immediately burst into laughter as Bucky shields his eyes. “Maybe you’ll learn to knock from now on.” You say as you're laughing. Steve laid his head against your shoulder and started laughing too.

“Ya well you wanna know what I have to say about this? Thank the fucking lord it’s about fucking time.” Then Bucky stomps back out of the room.

Eventually you both stop laughing. Steve smiles and kisses your cheek. “I love you (Y/N).”

“I love you too Steve.”


	28. Steve's Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter for Steve!

CHAPTER 28

Steve's Ending Epilogue 

Early in the morning you wake cold and shivering. So you roll over to seek out your personal heater and super soldier only to come up empty. You crack your eyes open and see that you’re in bed alone and frown. There’s a note on his pillow so you wipe the sleep from your eyes and grab the note. 

_Sorry doll, I didn’t want to wake you. I have a few errands to run. See you this afternoon._

_\- Love Steve_

Your frown only deepens. "Errands my ass." 

Steve has been acting strange and disappearing at random times. You trust him, so you’re not thinking he’s seeing someone else or anything like that. It feels more like he’s avoiding you. You’re worried it has to do with Clint. 

It was well over a year and a half before you spoke to Clint again after the raft. The two of you just recently started speaking again. But both of you made sure that Steve and Laura were completely okay with it first. You only talk once or twice a week on the phone. Sometimes it’s a video chat so you can see the kids. He fixed his marriage, and you fixed your relationship with Steve so neither of you want to jeopardize that. When you talk there’s no more flirting or anything inappropriate, just pure friendship. 

Shortly after you started talking to Clint is when Steve started acting strange. You already confronted him once, and told him if he wasn’t okay with it just to tell you and you would stop. But he swore up and down everything was fine.

After you shower and get dressed you go to the kitchen to get breakfast. Bucky is sitting at the dining table already eating. You sit down across from him with your arms crossed over your chest and narrow your eyes at him. He tries giving you his intimidating resting bitch face in response. You just glare at him harder. “That face doesn’t scare me my friend. I already know you’re just a big grumpy teddy bear. Now where the fuck is Steve?”

Bucky audibly gulps. “I don’t know kukla. I haven’t seen him this morning.” You stand up and slam your hands against the table and lean in. “Don’t lie to me James. He tells you everything. I’m sick of him disappearing and coming up with bullshit excuses. I know you know where he is.”

He knows he's in trouble if you call him James. He opens and closes his mouth a couple times looking like a fish. 

Nat walks in with Wanda which briefly diverts your attention. Bucky seizes the opportunity to bolt out of the room. "Dammit Bucky! You can run but you can't hide from me mister!"

Nat quirks an eyebrow at you looking amused. "I think you are finally scarier than me. You just sent the former Winter Soldier running for the hills."

You roll your eyes. "Ya well he knows where Steve is and is lying to me about it. You rudely interrupted my interrogation." 

"You can interrogate him later, we have some shopping to do. I'm sure Steve will be here when we get back and you can chew him out yourself."

Before you can whine or protest Nat and Wanda loop arms with you and start dragging you through the compound. Tony is having a party tonight. You're not sure why. Just because he wanted to have one is what you're assuming.

The girls keep you out shopping most of the day. They manage to make you forget for a little while that you're upset with your boyfriend. That is until you get back to the compound.

The second you get inside you're a woman on a mission. "Friday! Where is Captain Rogers?"

"In his office with Sergeant Barnes."

You smile deviously. "Perfect. I'm going to put my foot up both their asses."

You storm through the halls, making your way to Steve's office. When you get to the door you stop yourself from dramatically kicking it open. Instead you eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Steve come on man, I hate lying to her. She's my friend too. And for how small she is she's actually very scary."

"I know Buck trust me, I know. Don't worry I’ll take care of it. Everything will all be over tonight."

Your heart drops at Steve's words. What's going to be over? Is he breaking up with you tonight? 

With your mind spinning you mindlessly walk back to yours and Steve's shared room. He ended up moving into your room about a year ago because you had more stuff than him. You thought your relationship with Steve was going strong until recently. You'll just wait for him to come back to your room to change for the party and corner him. 

About an hour into your pacing around the room Friday startles you. "Miss (Y/N), Captain Rogers would like me to inform you that he will be getting ready for the party with Sergeant Barnes and he will meet you at the party."

"Bull-fucking-shit! Like hell he is! Friday tell Captain Rogers I will not be attending the party until he gets his ass in here!"

About 10 minutes later there's a quiet knock on your door. Obviously it's not Steve so you just sit on your bed glaring at the door. The door slowly opens. "Kukla please don't shoot the messenger."

Bucky peaks his head around the door until he lays eyes on you. Once he sees you're not armed he walks inside. 

"I'm going to ask you once James. Where the fuck is Steve?"

"He's getting ready for the party. I know you're pissed. But can you please just get dressed and I'll take you to him. Please kukla? For me?"

He's looking at you pleadingly with sad puppy eyes. Damn him. You sigh dramatically and your shoulders slump. "Fine. Using the puppy eyes is cheating by the way. You're lucky you're not the one I'm actually mad at."

He gives you a bright smile looking relieved. "Thank you kukla."

He leaves and comes back a half hour later once you're ready. Nat and Wanda picked out your dress for you. It's a dark blue silk halter top dress that stops just above the knees. You even wore heels. You might need something to throw at Steve.

Bucky smiles when he sees you. "You look so beautiful. Steve's gonna be speechless when he sees you."

You huff and roll your eyes. "He won't be speechless for long." Bucky shakes his head at you then loops his arms through yours. "Come on, let's go find Steve so you can give him an ear full."

He leads you through the compound until you get to the stairwell that goes to the roof. You give him a confused look. He just points up the stairs. "Well go on. Go get him."

You stomp your way up the stairs and shove the door open with more force than necessary. It's dark outside now.

When you walk out the door to get to the roof there's a trail of candles leading all the way across the roof. At the end is Steve standing next to a table and two chairs. 

You follow the trail and as you get closer you see Steve is wearing a dark blue suit that matches your dress. He's giving you a nervous smile.

"You look gorgeous doll." 

"You're not so bad yourself, handsome. But you have some serious explaining to do."

“I know you’re angry. But just bear with me for a minute please.” He hands you one of your bows with an arrow. You are beyond confused now. When you don’t take the bow and arrow he sighs and shakes his head at you. “Please doll, just shoot the target across the field there and I’ll explain everything.”

You huff in annoyance and grab the bow and arrow. You glance in the direction of the target he pointed to once then glare at him as you shoot the arrow hitting the target dead center. As you’re glaring at him a light illuminates his face so you turn your head back towards the field. There’s a string of lights on the ground in the grassy field spelling out two words. _Marry me?_

When you whip your head back around to Steve, you find him kneeling down on one knee with a small box in his hands. You gasp and cover your mouth with one hand as he opens the box. “(Y/N) you’re my best girl. I love you doll and I want to spend the rest of our lives together. Will you be my wife, marry me?”

Your eyes start to water and you slowly nod your head. “I love you Steve. Yes. Yes I will marry you.” He smiles wide and jumps back to his feet. Then pulls you to him and kisses you until you’re breathless. 

He takes the ring out of the box. As he slides the ring onto your finger you take a good look at it. It’s a vintage style white gold ring with a blue sapphire. Blue is both of your favorite color. Steve puts his hands on your face. “Do you like it? It’s not too old fashioned?”

“No it’s beautiful, I love it. It’s perfect.” You put a hand on the back of his neck and pull him down for another kiss. As his hands roam your body the kiss gets heated. You shove him down onto the chair that was behind him and climb into his lap straddling his hips. 

Without breaking the kiss you slip his jacket off his shoulders and then he moves his hands to your thighs pushing your dress up. You reach between your bodies and unbuckle his pants and untuck his shirt. At first you try unbuttoning his nice dress shirt but it gets too tedious so you rip it open and buttons fly everywhere making Steve laugh against your lips. 

He stops laughing and gasps when you reach into his dress pants and free his rock hard cock from its confines. He slides your underwear to the side and helps you sink down onto his lap as he pushes inside you. Both of you moan into each other's mouths once he’s fully sheathed inside you. 

With his super soldier strength he does most of the work as he holds your thighs tight lifting you up and down his length. He starts out slow but you get impatient and start slamming yourself down harder.

It becomes too difficult to continue kissing so you rest your head against his shoulder. You know neither of you are going to last long especially when Steve starts talking dirty. “You feel so fucking good doll. Want me to fill you full of my come.”

“Fuck yes Steve.” You moan out next to his ear, and you already feel yourself on the edge. “So good, I’m close baby.”

He starts lifting you faster and you slam down harder. It doesn’t take long before you’re both coming hard crying out each other’s names.

You wrap your arms around each other as you try catching your breath. When you begin thinking how your day started you start laughing against his neck. He pulls you back so he can see your face. “What’s so funny?”

“I have been so epically pissed at you all day. And I thought you were going to break up with me.”

Steve frowns at that. “Doll why would you possibly think that?”

“Because you’re a terrible liar. You started acting strange after me and Clint started talking again so I knew there was something going on. And I went to go storm into your office today and I heard you tell Bucky it would all be over tonight.”

Steve puts his hands on your face and gives you a sweet kiss. “I’m so sorry doll. I guess I didn’t realize how it must have looked to you. You’re like a bloodhound, it’s hard to hide anything from you. I should probably also tell you the party we are currently missing is our engagement party Tony wanted to throw.”

You look at him with wide eyes. “You were that confident I would say yes? And everyone knew you were going to propose?” He gives you a shy smile. “I was actually nervous about it, but everyone else was confident you would say yes.”

“I didn’t even hesitate to say yes. So you had nothing to be nervous about.”

You kiss him once more and finally climb off his lap with a little help. Then you take a look at the both of you. “I think we’re going to be really late because we’re a mess.” Steve laughs and kisses your forehead. “That’s okay. It was worth it.”

The two of you show up an hour late to your own engagement party. Some of your friends weren’t surprised and teased you. But everyone congratulated both of you. You apologized to Bucky for being so hard on him now that you understand what was going on. He hugged you and told you not to worry about it.

A little into the party Steve pulls you aside. “I have a surprise for you.” You look at him questioningly. “More of a surprise that a surprise proposal and engagement party?” He just ignores your question and grabs your shoulders and turns you around. You lay eyes on Clint standing on the other side of the room. You haven’t seen him in person since the day you took him home after the whole raft ordeal.

You’re about to run towards him but you stop and look back at Steve. He smiles at you. “We’re good doll, I promise. Now go.” He gives you a little push. And by some miracle you run across the room in heels without falling on your face. He sees you running towards him and smiles as he opens his arms.

When you reach him you wrap your arms around each other in a tight hug. “Clint I missed you so much. I can’t believe you're here.”

“I missed you too darlin’. How about one dance?” You pull back and look around the room for Laura. She’s standing next to Nat having a conversation with her. “(Y/N) it’s okay. I promise Laura and Steve are okay with it.”

A slow song comes on and he pulls you out to the dance floor putting one hand on your waist and holds your hand with the other. He gives you a bright smile. “So congratulations are in order. Are you happy?”

You nod your head and smile. “Yes, Steve makes me happy. And now I have my best friend back so I couldn’t be happier.”

“Me too darlin’, me too. I really am happy for both of you.”

“Thank you Clint.”

You dance through the entire song together. When it ends he pulls you in for a tight hug. You hug him back just as tightly. Then he kisses your forehead. “You’ll always be my best friend, and I’ll always love you.”

You look up at him with watery eyes. “And you will always be my best friend and I will always love you too.”

Clint hands you over to Steve who was waiting patiently nearby and goes over to where Laura and Nat are.

Steve wraps his arms around you. “Now it’s my turn to dance with my best girl, who is now my fiance.” He smiles as he starts dancing with you. It reminds you of the time he taught you how to dance in his room. That’s when you first started having feelings for him. 

You lean up and capture his lips for a kiss. When you pull away you smile at him. “I love you Steve. I can’t wait to call you my husband. 

“I love you too (Y/N). And I can’t wait to call you my wife.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the end for Steve. If you were team Steve I hope you enjoyed the ending.
> 
> The next 3 chapters are an alternate ending where the reader ends up with Clint instead.


	29. Clint's Ending Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next are an alternate ending if you wanted the reader to be with Clint and not Steve.
> 
> There's some similarities in the beginning to Steve's chapters but they are both very different endings I promise.

CHAPTER 29

Clint’s Ending Part 1

  
  
  


Clear your mind, deep breath, exhale and release. That’s what you’re repeating over and over in your mind as your fire your arrows at the target. You’re hiding out on the roof of the compound shooting arrows at a target on the far end of the property. It’s the only thing that keeps your mind from wandering and from spinning in your own internal turmoil. You reach back into your quiver and come up empty. “Dammit I’m out of fucking arrows.” You say as you throw your bow and quiver. 

As you glare at your bow like it wronged you Clint pops up in the forefront of your mind. Which is what you were trying to avoid. You miss that asshole’s face so much. It’s been months since you’ve seen or let alone talked to him.

After breaking into the raft and getting your friends out the truth was finally revealed thanks to T’Challa, proving Bucky didn’t bomb the UN. The accords ended up not passing so those bullshit laws were retracted. Steve eventually reached out to Tony. Tony pulled every string, and called in every favor he could to get all the charges dropped against the Avengers. When he accomplished that he asked all of you to come home, back to the compound. However, Steve refused to come back without Bucky and so did you. Tony wanted nothing to do with Bucky. But the only way the entire team would come back is with Bucky. So he finally gave in but he wanted Bucky to stay clear of him and on his own side of the compound. Bucky again argued he wasn’t worth the trouble but you and Steve weren’t hearing it and convinced him otherwise. 

The entire team came back home except for Clint. After he kissed you on the raft, you gently pushed him away. You told Clint you will always love him, but he needed to go home and try to salvage what was left of his marriage. You completely cut off contact with him. They wouldn’t be able to fix anything with you in the picture. So you did the only logical thing and removed yourself from the equation. You told him if or when him and Laura get to a good place again that you’ll be waiting for him. The two of you have known each other for so long and been through so much you won’t throw that friendship away. 

When Clint was returned home, the very last time you saw him the two of you hugged each other tight and cried. It hurt and hasn’t stopped hurting. But at least in the end you know you did the right thing.

Then there’s Steve, he saw the kiss and you knew it was over after that. When you all returned back to the compound you and Steve finally sat down to talk. He had enough of always coming in second to Clint. He said he’ll always care about you but it will never work between you because you already gave your heart to somebody else. You care about Steve too, and even though it hurt to admit deep down you knew he was right. You both agreed to work towards trying to become friends again, but it’s going to take some time. Right now the two of you only talk in training or on missions when necessary. 

You’ve turned into a bit of an angry recluse. So your friends take turns dragging you out of your room or out of the compound. Especially Bucky.

You assumed he would hate you for hurting his best friend. So you would steer clear of him, to avoid making things awkward. But he started seeking you out on his own. He said what happened was between you and Steve, and wasn’t his business. He just needed a friend. Of course he had Steve, but Bucky feels obligated to try and behave like the old Bucky that Steve knew when they’re together. With you he doesn’t have to do that, and he said he meant what he told you back in Bucharest when he said he liked you. There’s no romantic feelings between you and Bucky. You both really just needed a friend. In a way you partially filled the hole Clint and Steve left with Bucky, but it's a much less complicated friendship.

Footsteps approaching pull you from the tantrum you were about to throw over running out of arrows. “What did that bow do to you kukla?” He has started calling you kukla, it means doll in Russian. He forgot Steve called you doll until you got upset the first time he said it. So saying it Russian became his loophole. 

“Ran out of fucking arrows.” You say grumpily. Bucky shakes his head at you and smirks. “Well pick it up and find some more. We have a mission, an actual bad guy you can shoot them at.” That makes your face light up, and you jump up and down. “Fuck ya, lets go.”

When you’re not hiding away somewhere you’re throwing yourself into as many missions as possible. If your mind stays busy and focused on something it can’t wander. And you work out some of your pent up anger on the bad guys.

You grab Bucky's left hand and start pulling him along with you. He didn't flinch this time, that's progress. He's always worrying he's going to hurt someone with it. So you take every opportunity to show him he's wrong.

Nat and Bruce watch in amusement as they see your small frame dragging a super soldier along behind you. "Will you stop acting your old age? You're walking like an old man. Move it mister."

"Old man?! I'll show you old man." Bucky says half jokingly. He picks you up and throws you over his shoulder making you squeal embarrassingly. 

He carries you like that all the way to the Quinjet. You both pass Sam and Steve along the way who look at you questioningly. Bucky shrugs his shoulders. "What? She called me an old man."

You look away from Steve. The hurt in his eyes is still there, and it makes you delve further into your self loathing everytime you see it.

  
  


When you and Bucky return from another successful mission Nat and Wanda bombard you and make you agree to go out for a girls night. 

You sit on the floor glaring at your closet. You’re not in the mood to dress up and go out. Smashing a bad guy's face in sounds far more appealing. If Clint were here he’d be in here teasing you and help pick a dress out for you. Then you groan out loud annoyed at yourself for thinking about him. 

Bucky comes waltzing into your room. “Sure Bucky just let yourself in.” He smirks at you. “Well kukla if you would answer your door when someone knocks instead of ignoring it people wouldn’t just keep letting themselves in.”

You just roll your eyes at him and go back to glaring at your closet. He comes and leans against the wall and crosses his arms. “I have orders to make sure you get your grumpy behind dressed and out the door.” You flop back on the floor dramatically and whine. “Orders from who? Nat?” 

He nods his head. “Go out and have some fun. You can go back to being grumpy tomorrow.” You narrow your eyes at him from your position on the floor. “I may be grumpy but you’re surly. And I don’t want to dress up.”

“That’s why we get along so well kukla. And if you don’t want to dress up then don’t. Throw on some jeans and a t-shirt. Natasha only said dressed, she didn’t specify in what.” You both smile at each other. “I like the way you think Bucky.”

You finally give in and get ready, but only put on nice jeans and a clean t-shirt. Natasha didn’t look to be amused by the loophole Bucky pointed out to you. Especially since her and Wanda were all glammed up. But she was happy for the small victory that you at least came out willingly.

Tony drops you off downtown on his way to the tower and says he'll send someone to pick you all up later. The three of you end up drinking excessively. Which is usually how it goes when you go out with Nat. You went bar hopping again. The last bar she chose happened to be the one you picked Clint up from when the bartender called you. That feels like a lifetime ago, and it makes you start thinking about Clint. 

Nat has come to recognize the look on your face when you start thinking about him so she tries to distract you with more booze. Probably wasn’t a good choice.

“Nat…..Nat…..Nat….” She sighs dramatically. “What hun?” 

“Maybe I should just say fuck it and take one of those hot guys home whatcha think? I’ve never done the one night stand thing before. I should try new things. Try a new dick.” Then you start laughing at yourself. She follows your line of sight. “Hun. I think you are far more drunk than me. And those aren’t guys, it’s girls with short hair.”

You fall off the bar stool. “Ha! Well it would still be something new to try then huh?” Wanda shakes her head at you as she’s laughing and helps pick you up off the floor. “Hey Wanda, can I ask you something?”

“I have a feeling if I say no you’ll still ask anyway. So shoot.”

“So like you and Vision have something going on or whatever. How does that work? Like is he fully equipped? It’s so confusing.” Wanda and Nat both start laughing at you. But you never get an answer. “Hold that thought. I have to pee. BRB ladies.” Then you wander off towards the bathroom by yourself.

You make sure they aren’t watching and dart out the side door of the bar. “I’m going to make a terrible decision. Because I’m fucked up and I don’t give a fuck. And I’m talking to myself like a crazy drunk.” You pull your phone out of your pocket. It’s already lit up but you can’t read the screen because your vision’s a little blurry so you push a bunch of buttons to clear the screen. Then you hold the phone an inch from your face as you try pulling up your phone book. 

“Oh ya speed dial. Duh (Y/N).” You hold the phone to your face and listen to it ring. He won’t answer, but you can at least hear his voice when it goes to voicemail.

_“(Y/N)?”_

Your eyes go wide when you hear his voice and not a recording, and your heart starts pounding. “Clint?” You whisper into the phone like you’re afraid someone else will hear you say his name out loud. 

_“Darlin’ are you okay?”_ Your eyes start to water and you shake your head. But you remember he can’t see you. “No I’m not. I’m sorry for calling. I just miss your voice, and I miss your face.”

_“It’s alright. Have you been drinking? Where are you?”_

You laugh humorlessly. “I’ve had hours of excessive drinking. Nat took me to the bar I picked you up from that one night. I was trying to drink you away but it’s not fucking working.”

There’s a long pause and for a second you think he hung up or maybe you accidentally hung up. _“I miss you too darlin’. Remember how pissed you were at me that night? I smelled awful and was an asshole, but you still stayed with me all night.”_

“Because you were my asshole.” You feel the tears spilling over and streaming down your face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you.” Then you fumble with your phone until you disconnect the call and lean against the building staring at the sky.

You feel a presence looming over you, and see the moonlight reflect off the metal. “Why are you here Bucky?”

“Well I heard you were fucked up and making terrible decisions.” You scowl at him and cross your arms over your chest. “Who told you that? Nat or Wanda?” Bucky wipes your tear stained face with his flesh hand. “No, you told on yourself. You butt dialed me.”

“Ooohhh...That’s why my phone was lit up. My butt was talking to you.” He shakes his head and laughs at you. “Lets go kukla. We’re taking you girls home. Natasha called for a ride a while ago.” You grab onto his left arm and follow him back into the bar. In your drunken state you missed the part where he said “we”.

Bucky signals for Nat and Wanda. They follow the two of you out to the parking lot. Bucky leads you over to one of Tony’s other cars and you see someone leaning against the driver side. When you realize it’s Steve you go dead weight on Bucky’s arm and start dragging your feet. He stumbles for a second only because he wasn’t expecting it. He can pick you up with one hand no problem. You whisper yell to Bucky. “Why in the fuck did you bring him?”

“Kukla, my driver's license expired in 1945, and I haven’t had a need for one. It will be fine, he was worried about you too after you accidentally called me. He told me about the time he had to pick you up the last time you got drunk with Natasha.” 

You let out a groan. “Ugh! Fuck my life man.” Bucky rolls his eyes and drags you into the backseat of the car. Wanda sits up front with Steve. Bucky sits awkwardly in between you and Nat. Steve doesn’t say anything to you, but he keeps looking at you in the mirror.

Nat reaches across Bucky and nudges you. “What were you doing outside anyway? Did you get lost on the way to the bathroom?” She says teasingly. Then she sees the guilty look on your face. “(Y/N), what did you do?” 

You not so subtly clutch onto your phone, and mutter “nothing” under your breath. She yanks your phone away, and you have a delayed reaction because you're still so inebriated. She goes to your call log and then scowls at you. “You’re losing your phone privileges missy.” You unbuckle your seatbelt and try climbing across Bucky. “You’ll have to pry it from my cold dead hands. Now give it back! I need it.”

Steve’s yelling at Bucky to get you back in your seatbelt. Bucky ends up having to scoot over to put space between you and Nat. Then he keeps a hold of you on his lap. Which you have no chance of squirming out of his grip. You narrow your eyes at Nat who’s smiling at you victoriously. “This isn’t over Natasha!”

Bucky ignores your whining and looks at Natasha. "Ona skazala, chto prinimayet uzhasnoye resheniye. Ona pozvonila yemu?" _(She said she was making a terrible decision. Did she call him?)_

"Da, ona podlaya, dazhe kogda p'yana." _(Yes, she's sneaky even when she's drunk.)_

You flip both of them off with both hands. "Poshel ty. YA vse yeshche mogu govorit' po-russki, kogda ya p'yan." _(Fuck you. I can still speak Russian when I'm drunk too.)_

When you get back to the compound Bucky has to carry you back to your room because you kept trying to jump Nat for your phone. 

Steve just stands by and watches in confusion. He has no idea what you're so riled up about and Bucky won't tell him.

The next morning you wake feeling like shit and with a pounding headache. Bucky ended up staying with you. After you calmed down you told him you didn't want to be alone. 

You blindly reach around until you find his left hand and put his metal palm on your forehead. The cool metal feels good against your skin. 

"Better?" Your eyes are still closed but you can tell he's smiling. "Yep" You snark back at him.

As you wake up, last night's events start coming back to you. "Oh god." You groan out and then you hear Bucky snickering. "It's all coming back to you now isn't it?"

"Oh god. I told you I didn't wanna go. I did something stupid."

"I know kukla, but it'll be okay. Now I'm gonna need my hand back. I'm supposed to go running with Steve."

"Steve, oh god he was there last night too. What did you tell him?" Bucky rolls out of bed and smiles at you. "Don't worry. I didn't tell him anything. Now go shower. You smell like stale beer."

You roll over and flip him off as he walks away laughing at you.

Once you finally clean yourself up and shower you head towards the kitchen in search of coffee. You see Nat and Bruce together and Wanda and Vision. They are all adorably disgusting and you can't stand to watch it. You're happy for them, but it kills you to watch the happy couples.

Nat sees you divert your way around them, taking the long way to the kitchen. She hurries into the kitchen herself, beating you there.

She's sitting smugly on the counter when you get there with your phone in her hand. "I assume you're sober enough now to make grownup choices."

Your shoulders slump and you hang your head. "Sorry. I had a moment of weakness and just wanted to hear his voice. I thought it would go to voicemail. I didn't expect him to answer."

She hands your phone back to you. "I know hun. You gonna be okay?" You shrug your shoulders. "I'm working on it."

After your talk with Nat you go up to your hiding spot on the roof with your coffee. You don't feel like sitting with the happy couples.

You're sitting on the ledge with your legs hanging off the roof. You hear footsteps but don't turn around. Only one person follows you to the roof. "I showered, are you happy now?"

"Um...sure?" You whip your head around and instantly regret it because you still have a headache. You groan and put your hand to your forehead. "You're not Bucky."

Steve sits down next to you. "No, sorry to disappoint."

"No I'm sorry that's not what I meant. He's the only one that comes up here looking for me. I assumed it was him when I heard footsteps. Anyway why are you up here?"

He gives you a small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Just checking on you. You were pretty fired up last night. You okay?"

"Ya I was just being drunk and stupid. I'll be alright. But I don't believe that's the only reason you came up here."

He chuckles at you. "Okay you caught me. I really did want to check on you but there's something I wanted to talk to you about." 

You raise your eyebrows at him questioningly. Well this should be interesting. "I'm listening."

He moves his eyes away from you and looks out toward the trees. "Well, I was going to ask Sharon on a date. But I wanted to tell you first."

You take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Well you weren't expecting that. "Steve you don't need my permission. You're free to do what you want."

"I know, that's not why I wanted to tell you. I know you two have history. I don't want you to think that I'm doing it to hurt you like what I did in Berlin. And I'm still sorry about that. So I promise I'm not trying to hurt you. I do want us to eventually be friends again."

You hold your breath and try to will your tears away. Then once you think you got it under control you slowly release the breath you were holding. "I want that too Steve. You deserve to be happy. So even if it's with Sharon then so be it. I'll be happy for you, just don't expect me and her to ever be friends. And thank you for telling me."

"I think that's fair. And I want you to be happy too. Even if it is with my best friend."

When you finally comprehend what he just said you slowly turn your head towards him with a frown on your face. "With Bucky? What are you talking about? There's nothing going on between me and Bucky."

Steve looks at you incredulously. "But you two are always together. You looked pretty close the other day when I saw him carrying you around, and I saw him come out of your room this morning."

You can't help but laugh, which makes Steve frown more. "We are only friends I promise. Neither of us want anything like that. I really needed a friend and so did he. He needed a friend that didn't know the man he used to be. We kind of take turns helping each other. Last night I was being stupid and upset myself. I asked him to stay so I wouldn't be alone."

Steve's quiet for a minute while he takes in what you told him. He nods his head. "Then I'm glad you're the one that found him, and found each other. I worry about both of you sometimes, but sounds like it's not necessary. I mean it when I say I want you to be happy because you deserve it too."

Steve gives you a hug and kisses your forehead. Then he goes back inside. Part of you wanted to ask if he had feelings for Sharon all along but you didn't feel like you had a right to. And the other part of you was afraid of the answer.

  
  


Over the few couple weeks you throw yourself into as many missions as possible. Some back to back just so you can stay out of the compound. You refused to admit to anyone that it was wearing you down, you were getting tired. No one could argue since you were performing up to par. That is until you missed an easy target that resulted in the target getting away, and Sam almost getting hurt.

The target was eventually found. But the big deal was you never miss. Just like Clint you never miss a shot.

So Tony decided to be a grownup the day after that happened and pulls you aside to talk to you. 

"Sweetheart we all know you're hurting and wearing yourself down. I can't even remember the last time you told me to fuck off."

"Fuck off Tony."

"Ya I'm not feeling it. I can tell you don't really mean it. So how about you go to my beach house just for a few days. You need to give yourself a break. And I have it on good authority if you say no Natasha will forcefully get you there. So kiddo, what do you say?"

You huff and cross your arms over your chest. "Well, sounds like I'm going whether I like it or not."

Tony smiles and gives you a hug. Looks like you're taking a mandatory vacation.


	30. Clint's Ending Part 2

CHAPTER 30

Clint's Ending Part 2

  
  


Bucky is standing in the garage hugging you. Then Nat takes her turn and gives you a big hug.

After you talked to Tony you went back to your room to find Nat already packing your bag. Bucky was there playing enforcer to drag you out if necessary. 

"Why do I feel like you guys are trying to get rid of me?"

Nat gives you a small smile. "We aren't trying to get rid of you. We care about you and we're trying to help you. You can't keep going on the way you have been."

You just nod your head at her. She's right, you just don't want to admit it. She gives you one more hug. Then Bucky does the same and kisses your forehead. "See you in a few days kukla. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too Bucky."

Finally you get in the car Tony loaned you and drive to his beach house. It's a couple hour drive which sucks because your mind goes wild thinking about things you’ve been trying to avoid. But looks like you're going to have a few days of that so you better get used to it.

You've been wondering if your drunken phone call to Clint a few weeks ago caused any problems. He never tried calling you back or texting you which gives you mixed feelings.

Because of your wandering thoughts the drive goes surprisingly fast. When you pull up to the beach house you send Nat a picture and a snarky text letting her know you made it. Then you text Bucky also. He's recently started texting which has been interesting.

Tony's beach house is not so surprisingly huge and beautiful. You slowly make your way inside and toss your bags on the couch. Then you go to the big glass window that faces the ocean and look out at the beach. It's early spring so it's still cold but the sun is out and it's beautiful.

The sound of floor boards creaking reach your ears and you quickly turn around. You think you're hallucinating at first.

"Clint?"

"Hey darlin'."

It's been several months since you've laid eyes on him and it feels like a lifetime. You run across the room. He opens his arms and you both tightly wrap your arms around each other. You're not sure how long the embrace lasts, but neither of you want to let go.

When you finally pull away you look up at him. "Why are you here?"

He gives you a small smile. "I've been staying here."

You frown in confusion. "Why? Wait, does Tony know you're here?"

He nods his head. "Yes he's the one that offered it to me. We have some things we need to talk about. Can we sit down and talk?"

Both of you take a seat on the couch. Clint looks nervous which is very out of character for him. "Clint why aren't you at home?"

He takes a deep breath before answering you. "Well because it's not my home anymore. Laura had divorce papers waiting for me when I got home."

"What? That was months ago. Why didn't you tell me?" Then your eyes go wide and start to water as you come to a realization. "Oh god. Was it because of me?"

Clint reaches for your hand but you pull it away. "(Y/N), will you hear me out first please? This is why I didn't tell you I knew you would blame yourself. I never told you this before but Laura and I had only been dating a couple months when she got pregnant. I tried doing what I thought was the right thing and married her. I know a marriage is supposed to take work. But we were trying to force it to work. It shouldn't have to be forced. What happened between you and me was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back, but it was a long time coming. So it's not your fault."

There's still tears streaming down your face as you take in everything he said. "But what about the kids?"

"Laura and I don't have to be married for them to have both parents. We sat down and talked to them together. And we have custody worked out. They are adjusting but they're okay."

You try wiping the tears off your face and take a deep breath. "Why did you wait so long to tell me? It's been killing me not being able to talk to you."

"I know it's been killing me too. Like I said I didn't want you to blame yourself. But I also thought like a grownup for once. I thought it would be a real dick move if I went running to you with divorce papers in my hand. So I decided to wait until the divorce was final, and had my shit together before talking to you. Seemed like the right thing to do. You almost made me crack a couple weeks ago when you drunk dialed me, but Nat talked me out of it. The divorce wasn't final yet when you called."

You narrow your eyes at him. "So Tony, Nat, and Bucky were all in on this? That's why they forced me to come here! They knew the whole time! You set this up! Oh you are such an asshole."

He smiles and reaches for your hand. You don't pull away this time. "Yes darlin' they helped but they didn't know the whole time. But what I'm trying to say to you is I want to be your asshole again. And only yours."

When you just stare at him blankly he loses his smile and starts to worry. "(Y/N)?"

"I….I...what if we've just been fantasizing about it for years because it was like forbidden, and now that it's not, what if it doesn't work out and it ruins our friendship forever."

Clint starts smiling again. "You don't actually believe that. You're just scared."

"Okay fine, guilty. What if we want different things? Like I want kids of my own one day. You already have three."

"Darlin' I'll give you anything you want. Think about it, we've known each other for a long time. We know just about everything there is to know about each other, the good and the bad. We both already know we're good together."

You put your hand on his face and look into his eyes. "I want you to understand if we do this that's it. You're it for me. I can't ever lose you."

"Then that's good we're on the same page because you're it for me too. I never want to be without you again. I love you (Y/N)."

You slide closer to Clint and then climb into his lap straddling him. Then put both hands on his face. "I love you Clint. You will forever be my asshole." Then you crash your lips to his, kissing him first for once. 

You kiss him with fervor and slip one hand through his hair. His hands go to your hips. You don’t break the kiss until you absolutely need to breathe. When you do you rest your forehead against his and wrap your arms around his neck. 

Clint wraps his arms around you. “So did you want me to start pumping you full of babies now?” He says teasily. You laugh and smack his shoulder. “I said one day smartass, not right now. But we could practice in the meantime.” 

“I like the way you think darlin’.” He holds you tight and stands up. You squeal and wrap your legs around him. “What are you doing?”

“We’re not going to fool around on a leather couch. I don’t need my sweaty ass stuck to the couch.” You laugh at the image that puts in your head. As he carries you down the hallway you tilt your head and nibble on his ear and kiss and bite the parts of his neck you can reach. He groans and kicks the bedroom door open. He practically throws you onto the bed and jumps on top of you. 

You laugh and put your hands on his face. “You in a hurry or something?” He smiles back at you. “We have had years worth of foreplay. I have wanted you so bad for so long I don’t plan on wasting any time.”

“Okay fair point.” You reach for his shirt and pull it over his head. He doesn’t give you a chance to admire his body because he then pulls your shirt over your head, and your jeans off seconds later. He looks you up and down with lustful eyes then wedges his body between your thighs as he leans down to capture your lips for a kiss. You run your hands across every inch of his bare skin that you can reach.

He slides a hand down your body and stops between your thighs. He rubs your core through your underwear making you gasp and moan into his mouth. You bite his bottom lip and arch your back. “Please Clint. Please touch me.”

“I love the way you say my name. There’s so many things I wanna do to you.” As he’s talking you get impatient and unbutton his jeans and slide your hand inside his boxer briefs grasping his hard thick length. He loses all train of thought and bites his lip letting out a moan. 

You start stroking him as you leave love bites on his neck. “I knew you were huge. That mission when we hid in a closet you pressed up against me. I could feel it, and I wanted you to fuck me so bad. You said you would give me anything I want. Now take these fucking pants off and give me what I want.”

He smiles at you. “Yes ma’am.” Then he quickly sits up but falls off the bed as he’s frantically trying to get his pants off. As you’re laughing he jumps up victoriously without his jeans. “I’m okay!”

You shake your head and smile at him as you take your bra and underwear off. He manages to get his underwear off without falling.

He jumps back on the bed and you both just stare, admiring each other's bodies. You use your index finger beckoning him to come to you. He leaves kisses and love bites on your skin as he climbs up your body and positions himself back between your thighs. He leans down to kiss you but stops a couple inches away so he can still see into your eyes. “For the record darlin’ I’m not fucking you. This is more than that, I’m making love to you. I love you (Y/N).”

“I love you too Clint.”

He grabs one of your hands lacing your fingers together and rests your joined hands on the bed. With your free hand you line him with your entrance. He leans down and resumes kissing you while slowly pushing inside you. The further he pushes in the more heated the kiss becomes. Once he’s fully sheathed inside you he breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against yours. “You feel so good (Y/N). Even better than I ever dreamed. You fit me so perfect, like you were made for me.”

“And you were made for me.” You whisper back. He gently kisses you once more then he pulls all the way out and slowly pushes back in. He does that a couple times allowing you to adjust to his size. Once he’s sure he won’t hurt you he picks up the pace. Both of you have your eyes rolling into the back of your heads. 

You wrap your legs around him changing the angle allowing him to go deeper. Both of you moan out each other's names. He buries his face in your neck and starts thrusting in and out of you faster.

You decide to change positions by rolling your bodies flipping him on his back while managing to keep him inside you. He smiles in surprise as he looks up at you. He runs his hands up your thighs, stomach and stops at your breasts. You put your hands on top of his and grind against him rolling your hips a few times. Then you remove his hands from your breasts, hold both hands and lace your fingers together. You lean forward pinning his hands above his head.

You feel him twitch inside you. “You naughty boy, you like having your hands tied?”

“I guess I do.” He says with a shy smile. You move your lips next to his ear making him shiver when you talk. “We’ll explore that more later.” His breathing stutters and he lets out a groan.

While keeping your joined hands pinned above his head you start rolling your hips. Then move up and down at a fast pace. He starts moving his hips to meet yours. Both of you start thrusting harder. “I’m close baby.” You say breathlessly against his neck. “Me too darlin’. Where do you want it?”

“Come inside me, mark me as yours.”

“Yes ma’am.” Then he rolls you back over so that he’s on top of you again. He leans down on one arm and holds your hip with the other. Then begins thrusting into you fast and deep.

It doesn’t take long before he has you falling over the edge crying out as you reach your climax. As your walls tighten and spasm around him his hips begin to stutter as he reaches his own moaning out your name and comes deep inside you. 

He lays still on top of you with his face buried in your neck. Both of you are breathing heavily and covered in sweat. He kisses your neck as you run your hands through his sweaty hair. When he lifts his head so you can see his face he’s smiling wide. “I’m pretty sure you’re my soulmate, and we’re not getting out of this bed for at least a week.”

You laugh at that. “I don’t disagree, but I do require food and showering.”

He sticks his bottom lip out and pouts. You lean up and bite his bottom lip, and then give him a kiss.

“We can have sex in other places besides the bed you know. Like in the shower that we both need right now.” His whole face lights up. He finally pulls out of you and then lifts you off the bed carrying you bridal style to the bathroom. 

Later than night you’re finally both exhausted laying in bed together. Your head is resting on his bare chest with your hand over his heart. He has a hand on top of yours and the other wrapped around you. This has always been where you felt you belonged and now you don’t have to feel ashamed for it. 

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes handsome?”

“I know you probably thought I was joking. But I really do feel like you’re my soulmate. Does that sound weird?”

You lift your head and rest your chin on his chest. “It’s not weird at all. I’ve always felt that way. I thought I found my other half a long time ago. I just couldn’t have you. But now that I do finally have you I’m never letting you go.”

Clint smiles and runs his fingers through your hair. “That’s good because I’m never letting you go either. I love you (Y/N).”

“I love you too Clint.”


	31. Clint's Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter for Clint!

CHAPTER 31

Clint’s Ending Epilogue

Clint’s covered in sweat and trying to catch his breath. He looks up at his hands that are bound together and unfortunately not in a kinky way. A fist connects with his face and he spits a mouth full of blood onto the shoes of the douche bag in front of him. “Hey watch the merchandise! My girlfriend is going to be pissed when she sees you damaged this beautiful face.”

A punch to the gut knocks the wind out of him. “You talk too much. And no one knows where you are. She won't recognize your face when we're done with you.” 

Clint got himself into some trouble. He got taken hostage by some Hydra agents. Seems their saying is true, cut off one head and two more shall take its place. Just when you think Hydra is exterminated another group or base pops up. They’re like fucking cochroaches. 

_ Steve calling…….  _ Flashes on your phone for like the hundredth time. But you ignore it like you have the last ninety nine times. It alternates between Steve, Nat, and Bucky. They all pissed you off and you took off on your own. 

You’re angrily yelling to yourself in Tony’s car that you “borrowed” while also ignoring your cell phone. “Only Clint fucking Barton could manage getting kidnapped while going around the corner to pick up a fucking pizza! Seriously!”

Clint went out to get a pizza and beer for the two of you and never came back. You were able to get Friday to pull up the surveillance cameras in the area. Some harmless looking blonde chick looked like she was asking him for directions and three guys jumped him. Thankfully his hearing aids have a tracking device. It was meant to find his hearing aids because he kept losing them when he would take them out. One time you found them inside a pizza box you were about to throw out. But apparently it comes in handy for him getting kidnapped too. 

You and Clint had been the only two at the compound at the time. So when you figured out what happened to him you conferenced called everyone. They all seriously expected you to just sit there and wait for them to get back and come up with a plan together. The closest person was Nat and she was an hour away. So of course you not so politely refused to sit on your ass and wait. None of them are pleased with your decision to go alone. 

The two of you have been together as an actual couple for almost two years now. He moved into your room at the compound and was happy to come back to work. Things were a little rocky between the two of you and Steve for a while, but you worked through it and you’re all finally friends again. Everything had been going great. Until now.

  
  


You find the facility that he’s being held at. It’s an empty warehouse in an industrial area. Very original, fucking amateurs, you think to yourself. You park a few blocks away and grab your gear. Your friends in Wakanda generously made you and Clint arrows out of vibranium. They will shoot through anything. You call them “my not fucking around arrows”. Clint thinks it’s hilarious. You also have high tech glasses Tony made that have night vision and can detect heat signatures.

When you get inside the warehouse it’s mostly dark which works out perfect for you. You can hear voices echoing and follow the sounds up to the second floor. There is a room at the end of the hall with the door shut. With the glasses you can see five heat signatures. So you’re assuming it’s the same people you saw on the surveillance video. 

Hearing Clint’s voice brings you some relief. He’s alive and conscious. It looks like his hands are tied above his head with either a rope or a chain. You’re hoping rope because it will snap easier, then you remember which arrows you brought so it doesn’t matter. You aim high, above Clint’s hands and shoot the arrow straight through the wall and through the rope that’s binding him. 

As you kick the door open you hear Clint. “Ha! You guys are fucked now! Those are the not fucking around arrows.” Then he looks over at you and smiles. “Hey darlin’.” 

You scowl at him as you hit one guy in the face with your bow, knocking him out. “Don’t you hey darlin’ me.” 

“Are you seriously mad at me? It wasn’t my fault.” He whines as he’s ramming a guy's head into a wall.

Then you grab the blonde chick and smash her head into an adjacent wall. “You seriously fell for the dumb blonde asking for directions act? So ya it’s a little your fault.” 

Clint knocks out the last guy. “You’re just hangry aren’t you? Sheesh I’ll get us another pizza.” 

You just glare at him as you both tie all four of them with their hands behind their backs. You walk over to Clint and actually take a good look at him. You put both hands on his face. “Baby, what did they do to your pretty face?” 

He nods his head in the direction of the guy that was punching him. “I told that guy you’d be pissed.” 

You stomp over to the guy he was referring to and punch him in the face. “Fucking douche bag.”

Clint has a black eye, bloody nose, and a fat lip. But he’s still smiling at you. You cock your head to the side and frown. “Why do you look so happy? You got the shit beat out of you before I got here.”

“Because I love you so fucking much. I realized when I was getting the shit beat out of me that I really want to call you my wifey and not my girlfriend. Wanna get married?” 

You put your hands on your hips and look at him incredulously. “Are you fucking serious right now? You pick this moment to ask me that? You are such an asshole.”

He just keeps smiling at you. “But I’m forever your asshole remember? Can I forever be your husband too?”

You bite your lip and look at him nervously. You never pried on the marriage subject because you weren't sure if he would want to get married a second time. You were happy just being with him. “Do you really want to get married again?”

“Only if it's to you darlin’.” 

You walk over to him and put your arms around his neck and look into his eyes. “Yes Clint Barton I will marry you. I love you baby.” His smile gets even wider. “I love you too.” You lean up and gently kiss his swollen lips. 

Suddenly it sounds like a herd of elephants coming down the hallway. Steve, Nat, Bucky, and Sam come barreling into the room with worried faces. 

You look at them in annoyance, and don’t let them get a single word out. “Since I did all the dirty work you guys can deal with these assholes.” 

You also don’t give them a chance to rebut because you grab Clint’s hand and storm out of the room. Clint waves as he passes them. “You heard the lady. Best not to piss her off more. Especially when she’s hangry.”

“I’m not hangry!”

Later on Steve and Bucky tried lecturing you for going off alone. But the angry death glare you gave them shut them both up. Natasha pat you on the back and congratulated you on finally becoming as scary as her.

Once Clint’s face healed you took a little weekend trip to Vegas and secretly got married. Clint said he would do the whole big wedding thing for you if that’s what you wanted. But you’ve never been a girly girl and didn’t need the big flashy wedding. 

Keeping it a secret was only going to be temporary. It was days away from Natasha and Bruce’s wedding and you didn’t want to steal their thunder. Plus everyone is probably going to bitch about the two of you going to Vegas instead of having a wedding.

Both of you picked out simple wedding bands but it’s not really a good idea to wear jewelry on the job. So you both got a tattoo on your ring finger. It’s an arrow that loops all the way around. Simple but perfect for the two of you. Clint’s been calling you wifey every chance that he gets. But you love it and you’ve never been happier.

Clint told Laura because he’s going to tell the kids the next time he has them for the weekend. She wasn’t thrilled, but she also wasn’t surprised. She still dislikes you, and you can’t fault her for that. But she’s cordial to you around the kids. 

That’s when Clint brought the topic of kids up to you. You didn’t think he would be in a hurry to have more. Once you agreed to marry him he got excited about the idea of you being pregnant. You told him you would think about it, because that would mean you wouldn’t be doing field work for a while or possibly ever.

It’s the day of Nat and Bruce’s wedding. But your mind is racing and you’ve been spacing out all morning. You’re supposed to be getting in the shower to start getting ready for the wedding but Clint finds you leaning against the wall by your closet staring off into space. 

He sits down in a chair and grabs your hand pulling you onto his lap so you’re straddling him. He puts both hands on your face. “What’s wrong with my wifey? You’ve been acting strange since last night.”

“Nothing, sorry. I need to get in the shower.” You go to climb off his lap but he keeps his hands on your hips not letting you up. He just quirks an eyebrow at you. You sigh and put your hands on his chest. “I wanted to wait until after the wedding to tell you.”

“Too bad wifey. You’re not getting up until you spill.”

You bite your lip nervously as you look at his handsome face. “I decided to stop taking my birth control last night. I made up my mind, and I want to have a baby with my husband.”

It takes him a minute to process what you just said. But you can tell the instant he does. His face lights up and he puts a hand on the back of your neck crashing his lips into yours. His excitement gets you excited, and the two of you start making out like horny teenagers. He’s only wearing sweatpants. You’re only wearing a tank top and underwear. 

Clint bites your bottom lip. “Can we start now darlin’?” 

You smile against his lips. “It’s only been a day baby. It’s going to take a little more time than that. But why not start practicing?”

Without hesitation he frees his already rock hard cock from his sweatpants and slides your underwear to the side pushing fully inside you in one swift motion. You moan against his mouth. “Oh god Clint I love you so fucking much, I can never get enough of you.”

“I love you too wifey, I can’t get enough of you either. Now ride me so I can put a baby in you.” 

You smile against his lips. He starts moving your hips for you. You put your hands on the back of the chair for leverage as you ride him fast and hard.

He pulls your tank top down exposing your breasts. Then he starts pulling you down hard as he thrusts up, going deeper.

"So good baby." You say sounding breathless. You know you're both not going to last very long.

He just growls in response and moves his lips to your neck. Leaving a trail of love bites. 

You put a hand in his hair and tilt his head to the side and bite down where his neck meets his shoulder. "Oh fuck." He gasps out.

"I'm gonna come baby. Come with me."

A few more hard thrusts and roll of the hips has you both coming at the same time and crying out. You can feel him pulsating as he comes inside you.

You rest your forehead against his shoulder as you try to catch your breath. Clint kisses your shoulder and puts a hand on your belly. "I can't wait to see you pregnant carrying my baby. What changed your mind?"

"I love being an Avenger but I love you more. It's time I put what I want first for once. I want everything with you."

"Me too darlin'. I love you so much."

"I love you too Clint."

You ended up being in a lot of trouble with Nat when you got to the wedding venue. Clint marked you up pretty good. It took Wanda a lot of time and makeup to cover your hickies. But that’s also when Nat finally noticed the arrow tattoo on your finger. She’s been so preoccupied with the wedding it was pretty easy for you to hide. 

As you predicted she thoroughly scolded you for not telling her and for going to Vegas. She said when her and Bruce get back from their honeymoon that she’s at least making Tony throw a party for you both. 

As promised when they got back she easily talked Tony into throwing a party. Only Nat, Wanda, and Tony knew about your nuptials with Clint up until the day of the party. Everyone thought Tony was just throwing another party until he made the announcement during the party what the occasion was. 

Your friends were all happy for you, but disliked that you eloped. Bucky was a little hurt that you didn’t tell him. But when you explained why he understood and congratulated you. 

Steve who you were most worried about finally approached you part way into the party. He looks at you almost nervously. “Would you dance with me if I asked doll?”

You smile and reach for his hand. “I would love to dance with you. After all, you are the one that taught me how.” Steve smiles and walks you out to the dance floor. 

As he starts moving with you to the music you realize something. “You called me doll. You haven’t called me doll since way back when I found Bucky. I’ve missed hearing it.”

He gives you a shy smile. “It’s always been my name for only you I suppose. I think we’re finally in a better place now with our friendship and I missed saying it to you too. I just want you to know that I am happy for you both. You deserve to be, and I think you’re the happiest I’ve ever seen you.”

“You deserve happiness too my friend, even with Sharon. And I want you to know that I do love you, and always will. Just not the way that I love Clint. Does that make any sense?”

“Yes doll, it does. I feel the same way, I’ll always love you too.” 

As the song comes to an end the two of you stop moving. Steve kisses your cheek and smiles. “I think your husband would like to have his wife back.” He gently lets go of you and pats Clint on the back as he passes him and makes his way over to Sharon.

Clint wraps an arm around your waist and starts dancing with you. He smiles and kisses you on the lips. “Hey wifey.”

“Hey hubby.” You grab his ass making him jump and yelp in surprise. Then he growls in your ear. 

“This party is interrupting our baby making. Wanna sneak out of here?”

You laugh and shake your head at him. “You mean to tell me your dick isn’t tired yet?” He scoffs at you. “My dick is always rarin’ to go for you wifey.” 

You lean up and kiss him passionately. “I love you Clint Barton.”

“And I love you (Y/N) Barton.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were team Clint I hope you enjoyed the ending.


	32. Bucky's Ending Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had a request to write an alternate ending for Bucky. Which I thought was a great idea, not sure why I didn't think of it myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This picks up right after Chapter 25. So the reader ends up with Bucky instead of Steve or Clint.

Bucky's Ending Part 1

The sun shines through your window and the brightness wakes you. You growl in annoyance at being woken up and burrow further into the blankets. If you stay in bed and sleep you don't have to think or interact with people. Specifically Steve as far as interacting goes. And you don't have to think about your epic fuck ups or your lack of a best friend if your unconscious.

After breaking into the raft and getting your friends out the truth was finally revealed thanks to T’Challa, proving Bucky didn’t bomb the UN. The accords ended up not passing so those bullshit laws were retracted.

Steve eventually reached out to Tony. Tony pulled every string, and called in every favor he could to get all the charges dropped against the Avengers. When he accomplished that he asked all of you to come home, back to the compound. However, Steve refused to come back without Bucky and so did you. Tony wanted nothing to do with him. But the only way the entire team would come back is with Bucky. So he finally gave in but he wanted Bucky to stay clear of him and on his own side of the compound. Bucky again argued he wasn’t worth the trouble but you and Steve weren’t hearing it and convinced him otherwise.

The entire team came back home except for Clint who is now retired. After he kissed you on the raft, you gently pushed him away. He knew in that moment that you weren't choosing him. You told Clint you will always love him, but he needed to go home and salvage what was left of his marriage. You completely cut off contact with him, and told him if or when him and Laura get to a good place again that you’ll be waiting for him. The two of you have known each other for so long and been through so much you won’t throw that friendship away. But you need to step aside for a while.

When Clint was returned home the two of you hugged each other tight and cried. It hurts and you miss him like crazy but you know it was the right thing.

You didn’t know until later that Steve saw the kiss. When you all returned back to the compound you and Steve finally sat down to talk. He was hurt and rightfully so. He was tired of coming in second to Clint. Even though you broke off contact with Clint he said it was too little too late basically. He said he'll always care about you and wanted to work towards trying to become friends again, but it’s going to take some time. That was a few months ago. Right now the two of you only talk in training or on missions when necessary. Which is awkward to say the least.

You’ve turned into a bit of a recluse. So your friends take turns dragging you out of your room. Especially Bucky.

Both you and Steve explained to Bucky on separate occasions what happened between you. You assumed he would hate you for hurting his best friend. So you would steer clear of him, to avoid making things awkward. But he started seeking you out on his own. He said what happened was between you and Steve, and wasn’t his business.

He just needed a friend. Of course he had Steve, but Bucky feels obligated to try and behave like the old Bucky that Steve knew when they’re together. With you he doesn’t have to do that, and he said he meant what he told you back in Bucharest when he said he liked you. You really needed a friend also. In a way you partially filled the hole Clint and Steve left with Bucky, but it's a much less complicated friendship. Or so you had hoped.

Your sleep is disturbed again when you hear the bedroom door open and close. You groan internally because you know who it is and what he's about to do. "Go away." You whine, but it's muffled by the pile of pillows and blankets you have burrowed into. But with his super soldier hearing you know he heard you.

"Not gonna happen kukla." Bucky snarks back at you and begins to unbury you from the mess on your bed.

He has taken to calling you kukla. Another way to say doll in Russian. You almost bit his head off the first time he called you doll, not thinking that was Steve's name for you. Then you cried for snapping at him. Your moods tend to go from one extreme to another. Which makes you wonder, why doesn't he think you're crazy?

When a rush of cold air hits you, you squint one eye open and attempt to convey your unhappiness for being disturbed. "I'm not done sleeping." You grumble. Then you blindly reach around for your blankets but of course he tossed them all on the floor.

"You've slept enough. It's past noon. You're turning into a house cat."

You finally open your other eye and glare at him. "If I hiss at you can I go back to sleep?"

He shakes his head as he laughs at you. "Like I already said, not gonna happen. And don't claw me for this either."

Before you can question him about what he means he quickly pulls you out of bed and throws you over his shoulder. You start squealing and attempt to kick your legs and squirm. But you know it's pointless, you'll never get out of his hold. "Dammit Bucky! No! Don't you dare! Don't you fucking do it!"

He ignores your protesting and bitching as he carries you to the bathroom. "You leave me no choice kukla." The humor in his voice just aggravates you more.

He turns the shower on and drops you into the cold water. You squeal some more until it turns warm and you slump back in the tub in your now soaked pajamas knowing you're defeated and have to get up now. Your scowl turns to a pout. "You're so mean. I'll get you back for this!"

He waves you off. He's heard all your threats before. "Yeah, yeah. Shower and get dressed. Then we'll go get some food. You got 15 minutes or I'll come drag you out."

You splash water at him and huff. "Ugh! Fine."

After you begrudgingly take your shower and get dressed you go to the kitchen to find your surly counterpart. You find him in the kitchen leaning against the counter talking to Natasha. She smirks when she sees you approaching and not so subtly whispers to Bucky.

"Kak ty vytashchil yeye zadnitsu na etot raz?"  
 _(How did you get her ass out of bed this time?)_

"Priyatnyy kholodnyy dush, ona vizzhala, kak porosenok."  
 _(Nice cold shower, she squealed like a baby pig.)_

You scowl at both of them. "Vy oba pridurki."  
 _(You're both assholes.)_

Nat walks over to you and hugs you. "We know, but it's because we love you. Right Barnes?" She says to him with a raised brow. He clears his throat awkwardly and his cheeks turn pink. "Right, because we care about you."

You look between the two of them. They are being weird. Oh well. You're not exactly yourself lately either. So it's probably just you. "I don't see any food. Where's the food you got me out of bed for?"

Nat pats Bucky on the shoulder and walks away without a word. You cross your arms over your chest and narrow your eyes at Bucky. "Did I miss something? What's up?"

He bites his lip nervously. You hate it when he does that because he looks so incredibly sexy doing it and you don't want to be having thoughts like that. You don't want to lose or fuck up another friendship. "Well kukla, I was thinking we could go outside the compound….together….for food."

You give him a confused look. "Huh? You hate going out in public. I know it makes you uncomfortable.”

"True. But you hate getting out of bed anymore. So maybe if we both force ourselves to get out more we can deal with our issues together." He looks at you hopefully with his blue eyes.

Damn him. He's been perfecting his sad puppy face ever since he realized it worked on you. How could you possibly say no to that face. You point at him grumpily. "That's cheating James and you know it! You're lucky I'm actually hungry."

He smiles at you triumphantly. Well at least you made him smile. He has a beautiful smile. His smile is infectious and you can't help but smile back at him.

Then of course Steve has to walk in a ruin the moment. To be fair it was unintentional on his part. But you immediately lose your smile and the depressed feelings start up all over again. Steve looks at Bucky as he enters the kitchen. "You must be in trouble if she's calling you James."

Bucky waves him off. "No, we're just joking around. We’re just about to leave to get something to eat." Steve looks between the two of you, but you don’t look at him. In fact you look anywhere but in his direction. Steve gives his friend a confused look. “You’re going out…? Together?”

Bucky looks at him like he’s being an idiot. “Yes we’re hungry and need some air.” Then he brushes past his best friend because he can see the sadness in your eyes and wants to get you away from Steve so that you’ll start smiling again. Steve stands there with his hands on his hips and a frown on his face as Bucky walks away with you with his arm around your waist.

Natasha drags you down the hallway towards the gym. Even with your feet planted on the ground she’s still dragging you along. As per usual you didn’t want to get out of bed or go to training today. “Nat I don’t wanna.” You whine like a small child. “Tough.” She mutters under her breath. It kills you to be in the same room as Steve. Just the way he looks at you and rarely speaks to you smashes your heart a little each time. You try going dead weight and dropping backwards on the ground but you’re suddenly being lifted up by strong hands. “You look like you need some help Natasha.” Bucky says with a smirk.

You let out an exaggerated annoyed groan. Nat smiles back at him. “Why thank you Barnes. That’s very kind of you.” Then she throws you a smug smile knowing they’ve won again. You have no chance of winning when they gang up on you. Bucky then flips you around over his shoulder once again and follows Nat to the gym. Even though you know it’s pointless you do it anyway and start kicking your legs. “This is getting to be bullshit. Paybacks a bitch you know.”

You feel Bucky’s flesh hand pat you on the back in a placating manner as he chuckles quietly. When he enters the gym you stiffen when you hear Steve’s voice. “Buck...what are you doing?” He finally sets you down, but you keep your back turned towards Steve as you huff at the other man in front of you and straighten your clothes back out. Bucky shrugs his shoulders. “Just having a little fun is all. She was moving too slow.” Then he glances down and winks at your scowling face.

During training Natasha very suspiciously and conveniently gets called away. "You better not be playing hide the zucchini with Bruce in the lab again! I'll tell Tony!" You growl out, annoyed because she's the one that forced you to go to training. She simply flips you off with a smirk as she walks away.

She also volunteered Bucky to take her place to spar with you. He knocks you to the ground with his strong muscular body wedged between your thighs. Which you are trying very hard not to focus on, but that actually just makes you think about it more. He has both of your hands pinned above your head with just his flesh hand because he’s afraid of hurting you with his metal hand. He’s smiling down at you smugly. So you stick out your bottom lip in a pout. “No fair using your super strength.” His eyes drop to your lips. You use the distraction to wrap your legs around him and flip him over.

He looks up at you with wide eyes because you are now sitting on top of him with the smug smile. In the back of your mind you're scolding yourself for thinking how nice it feels to be straddling him. He puts his flesh hand up to high five you. “You got me this time. Nice job kukla.”

Steve sees the two of you and goes off in his captain voice. "Alright that's enough let's switch it up. Wanda you're with (Y/N) and Sam you're with Bucky." Both you and Bucky roll your eyes. But when he gets up off the floor he gives his best friend his signature resting bitch face. You just assumed it was because he didn't want to train with Sam because they bicker like an old married couple.

After training is over Bucky stays behind because Steve wanted to talk to him about something. You don't see Bucky again for the rest of the day.

The next morning, well more like afternoon it's Nat that makes you get out of bed. When she does it she just shoves you harshly onto the floor and tears your bed apart. "Dammit Nat the floor hurts." You grumble at her.

"Yeah well that's your problem not mine. Now get your ass up."

You groan dramatically some more. "Where's Bucky? He at least doesn't abuse me like you do!"

She sighs at you in annoyance. "I don't know. I'm guessing he's busy. So you get me today. Get up before I drag you out."

Even though Bucky will throw you in a cold shower or something, his wake up calls are much better than Nat's. Because he’s still gentle about it, whereas she usually just kicks your ass. And you secretly might enjoy when he picks you up with his strong arms. But no one needs to know that.

The secret crush or hidden feelings you harbor for Bucky make you feel guilty. He's Steve's best friend. Sure you and Steve are over with, but it still feels like crossing a line. But it doesn't matter, you'll never explore what those feelings are. It just seems like it would be a disaster waiting to happen.

Speaking of Bucky you're not sure what's going on with him, but for over a week it's Nat forcing you out of your room and you hardly get to see him. When you do it’s very brief, and not much conversation.

You really miss him, which makes your mind start messing with you and the negative thoughts take over. Maybe you did something to upset him and messed up yet again another friendship. Or maybe he figured out you have feelings for him and made him feel uncomfortable. But you had no intention of acting in said feelings. Regardless of the reason you feel like you've lost another friend and have no clue why.


	33. Bucky's Ending Part 2

Bucky's Ending Part 2

Stumbling around on the roof when you’re intoxicated is probably not a good idea. But since when do you have ideas anymore anyway? You didn’t want to be found so you snuck up to the roof with a bottle of...something. You can’t remember what it was anymore. Whatever it is it’s almost gone. Bucky’s basically ghosting you for whatever reason. Steve keeps giving you sad looks. And Nat keeps kicking your ass until you concede and roll out of bed. 

Since you can’t hide out in your room without being disturbed you decided to hide on the roof and get drunk. If you can’t sleep your troubles away, how about drinking them away. Then the voice of your inner Clint in your mind told you shooting arrows sounded fun. So drunken target practice it is. Again, probably not one of your best ideas.

You are pretty proud of yourself for still being able to hit the targets on the opposite side of the compound in your inebriated state. That is until you started seeing double and disoriented yourself. Then accidentally hit one of the tires on Tony’s car. “Oopsie. Oh well, Tony can buy more.” You giggle to yourself. 

“(Y/N)? Are you up here?”

You quickly turn around at the sound of Bucky’s voice. But you're still holding your bow with an arrow ready to go which points toward him as you turn. “What?!” You bark at him grumpily. He sees the almost empty liquor bottle at your feet and gives you a worried look. He puts his hands up in case you accidently release the arrow. “Kukla, can you please put the bow down?”

“Nope. Now go away sergeant surly. I'm busy. I just shot Tony’s car….maybe I should even out the rest of the tires.” You turn around as you say the last part and look towards Tony’s car. With your delayed response time you don’t realize Bucky’s behind you until he’s pulling your bow away from you. “Hey! Give that back! I wasn’t done shooting at stuff.” You jump up and down trying to grab it from him but you get tired quickly and start feeling dizzy again.

Bucky tosses your bow so it’s out of your reach and catches you as you start stumbling from the dizziness. You try squirming away, but he just scoops you up in his arms and holds you still. “(Y/N) what’s going on?”

You poke him in the chest with one finger. “I could ask you the same fucking question. What’s going on Bucky? You completely ghosted me. Which was rude by the way.”

He gives you a confused look. “I have no idea what that means. Why are you on the roof getting drunk off your ass?”

This kind of reminds you of the time Clint got upset and got so drunk at the bar a bartender called you to come get him. Which makes you feel sad thinking of your former best friend. At least you got drunk at home instead, right? You lean your head against his shoulder and sigh. “I lost my best friend. It kills me to be around Steve. Then you completely cut me off and I don’t know what I did wrong. And Nat’s mean when she kicks me out of bed. So I came up here to be alone and wallow while getting so drunk I can’t form a coherent thought anymore.”

He hugs you a little tighter and sighs himself. “I’m so sorry, I promise you didn’t do anything wrong. Steve and I had an argument, and I guess you ended up paying the price for it. I really am sorry babydoll, can you forgive me?”

You lift your head back up and quirk an eyebrow at him. “Babydoll? That’s a new one.” He gives you a shy smile in return. “Sorry, just kind of slipped. Can I get away with babydoll?”

You finally smile back at him. “Yeah, I think I kind of like it. I’ll let you have that one, and I suppose I’ll forgive you this time. But don't do it again mister. Why were you and Steve fighting anyway?” He shakes his head and looks like he’s thinking really hard. “It doesn’t matter, he’s just being a punk. It’ll be alright.” You flop your head back down on his shoulder. Thankfully it’s his flesh shoulder otherwise it would have hurt. “I don’t feel so good Bucky. The sky is spinning.”

“Alright I think it’s time to get you to bed.”

You just grunt in agreement as he starts carrying you inside. When you hear voices you force your eyes open and see Nat, Sam, and Steve sitting in the living room. Nat perks up. “There you are. Where did you find her?”

Even though you know she was talking to Bucky you answer her anyway since the dizziness has temporarily subsided. “On the roof having a one woman party. Hey if you see Tony will you tell him I accidentally shot an arrow into his tire? Tell him my bad.” Then you start laughing as you picture Tony’s face when he sees what you’ve done. Sam starts laughing and Nat groans loudly. “Oh no. Why is she drunk?”

Bucky glares at Steve and tips his head toward him. “This is your fault Steve.” You point a finger at Steve. “Yeah Steven this is your fault. Wait...what’s Captain Perfect’s fault?” Sam starts laughing even more hysterically so Nat slaps him in the back of the head. “It doesn’t matter, he’s just being a punk remember?” Buck says to you quietly. You’re too drunk to care so you just accept his answer. 

He carries you through the compound to your bedroom, and gently lays you on the bed. But you keep your arms wrapped around his neck. “I’m tired of being alone and I missed you. Will you please stay?” You say with a pout, and stick your bottom lip out as you bat your eyelashes. You’ve slept next to each other before. Both of you still suffer from nightmares from time to time. After Bucky caught you in the kitchen eating ice cream in the middle of the night a few times he told you about his own nightmares. So sometimes you’ll seek each other out.

He chuckles at you. “Yeah of course I’ll stay with you. How can I say no to that face.” He says teasingly as he kicks off his shoes and climbs in bed next to you. Immediately you curl into him and wrap yourself around him with your head on his chest. He wraps his flesh arm around you. You reach for his metal hand and lace your fingers together with his. “I missed you Bucky.” You mumble sleepily.

“I missed you too babydoll.” 

You smile against his chest and whisper quietly. “I love you James.” Bucky’s entire body stiffens and his eyes go wide as he takes in what you just said. But he’s afraid his mind is playing tricks on him. There’s no way you just said what he thought he heard, or meant it in the way he hopes. “(Y/N)...what did you just say?” His only response is your quiet snores because you are now sound asleep. 

The next morning you wake at some god awful hour because you’re overheating and then your head starts pounding. You groan and roll away from the heat source. As you’re rubbing your temples you realize there’s another body next to you. You slowly turn your head and squint your eyes open and see Bucky looking at you with an amused look on his face. “Morning babydoll.”

You frown at him. “Babydoll? Where’d that come from?” His face falls a little. “You said you liked it last night. Do you remember anything from last night?” He says sounding hopeful. You close your eyes again and try to think through the fog in your brain. Why oh why did you drink so much? Right, Bucky was ignoring you...but he’s here now. “Umm...some of it is slowly coming back to me. You apologized for avoiding me, something about a fight with Steve? Is there anything important I need to remember? I’m guessing we’re good now since you’re here.”

When he stays silent for what feels like forever you turn your head back towards him and crack your eyes open. He has a sullen look on his face. “Bucky? Did I do something wrong?” He shakes his head, but you're not sure whether it’s at you or himself. “You did nothing wrong, I promise. I’m sorry for avoiding you. I had a bad week after an argument with Steve and didn’t want to talk about it. Everything’s fine.”

“And you still don’t want to talk about it I’m guessing since you’re being so vague?”

He bites his bottom lip. You groan internally. It’s too early and you are far too hungover to deal with his sexiness right now. “No, not right now. I’ll take pity on you today as part of my apology and not throw you in the cold shower. Can you manage to get up on your own while I get us breakfast?”

“You mean I’m awake at breakfast time? Been a while since that’s happened. Yes, I’ll get up. I need some hangover food anyway.”

After Bucky leaves your roll out of bed like you promised. It’s only been like 5 minutes since Bucky left when there’s a knock on your door. You roll your eyes, is he seriously messing with you already? You yell as you stomp over to the door and rip it open. “I’m up! Are you knocking just to be an asshole…..oh you’re not Bucky.”

Steve is standing on the other side of the door giving you a confused look. “No, sorry to disappoint you.” Your shoulders slump, great you offended him already. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I thought he was banging on the door to get me out of bed.”

He nods his head and brings out his sad face. “Can I come in? I was hoping we could talk for a minute.” You hesitate for a moment and just look at him. Again you are too hungover to deal with this shit right now. After a couple beats of silence curiosity wins and you finally step to the side and pull the door open more inviting him in. He sits on the small sofa you have in your room, so you go sit beside him and just silently wait to see what this is all about. Steve clears his throat and turns his body toward you. “I owe you an apology.”

“Huh? What for?”

He sighs and wipes a hand down his face. “I know you’ve been having a hard time, I’m not blind. I think we’ve both been hanging onto something that has nothing left to hang onto. Seeing you with Bucky has been difficult to say the least. Even though I ended things between us, I still found myself feeling jealous. Which I have no right doing. Then I’ve been talking to Sharon recently which has made me feel guilty, especially after what I did to you in Berlin. I’m sorry it’s my fault Bucky was avoiding you. I was acting like a jerk, like I had some claim over you. I confused my guilt with jealousy. I really do want us to be friends, I miss having you as a friend. I still need to apologize to Bucky, and I know you don’t need my permission but if you two want to be together I’ll be happy for you. You both deserve to be happy, maybe you were the one that found him for a reason. I really am very sorry. Think you can forgive me?”

You sit there with your mind racing, just staring at him. The fight he had with Bucky was about you? Bucky has feelings for you? Great, now you’ve gone and complicated another friendship while also causing two best friends to fight. When you don't say anything Steve puts his hand on your shoulder. "Doll? You alright?"

You blink a couple times then shake your head in an attempt to clear your mind. "Sorry Steve, you just caught me by surprise. Yeah, yeah of course I forgive you. I miss having you as my friend too. And if you decide to go out with Sharon or whatever even though I dislike her I'll be happy for you if that's what makes you happy." His face lights up with a bright smile and he pulls you to him for a hug. You hug him back and actually feel a little better when it comes to Steve now, you can manage to be friends again. 

He kisses your forehead and hugs you once more before he leaves in search of Bucky next. Just before he walks out the door he turns back to you. “Oh before I forget. Tony’s been looking for you to give you an ear full about last night.” 

Your eyes go wide. “Oh shit. That really happened? I really hit his car with an arrow? I thought I dreamed that.” Steve just shakes his head and laughs at you as he walks out the door.

Well Tony is the least of your worries right now, he’ll get over it. Even though you are feeling better about Steve after your talk, you are now freaking the fuck out about Bucky. You don't want to mess up what you have with him, and you are a complete disaster when it comes to dating. So you panic and end up doing what you were just mad at Bucky for doing. You avoid him the rest of the day, and again the following day. It scares the crap out of him and Nat when they found out you got up early on your own, but you were still nowhere to be found.

That evening though after you snuck back into your bedroom you wake in the middle of the night from a nightmare. So instead of going to Bucky's room you revert back to old habits and sneak into the kitchen to stuff your feelings away with some ice cream. 

As you're sitting on the counter in the dark your mind is still racing around what to do about Bucky. So caught up in your inner turmoil you don't hear anyone approaching. When a figure walks into the kitchen you freeze. Of course he would have a nightmare tonight also and catch you red handed. Maybe if you stay completely still he won't see you, but you already know he can sense you. 

He flips a dim stove light on and approaches you. When he's standing in front of you he puts an arm on either side of you caging you in. "Ditched me for the ice cream tonight?" He says trying to sound playful, but even in the dim lighting you can see the sadness in his eyes. Not knowing what to say you tilt the ice cream tub toward him. "Want some?" Internally you're face palming yourself. That was an awful attempt at stalling. You both know you are dancing around the real issue.

Bucky shakes his head and looks down, averting his eyes away from you. He takes a deep breath and slowly lifts his head back up. "(Y/N) I know Steve unintentionally opened his big mouth and told you things that I wasn't prepared to talk about. I understand you don't feel the same way, but I don't want to lose you as my friend."

Your heart sinks and now you feel guilty. He doesn't think you feel the same, and you're crushing his heart by avoiding him. He doesn’t deserve that, the poor man has been through so much already, and you don’t want to hurt him. You set your tub of ice cream on the counter and force yourself to look him in the eyes. "That's not why I've been dodging you. And sorry for that by the way. Kind of makes me a hypocrite since I was just upset with you for the same thing."

“I don’t understand. You know I’m old and I need you to spell it out for me.”

You snort out a laugh at that, which brings a small smile to his face. “We’ve been over this. You’re old fashioned, not old. Bucky I….” You bite your lip and close your eyes for a moment trying to gather your thoughts and steel your nerves. After you take a deep breath you open your eyes back up and look into his that are staring at you intently. “I have feelings for you too. But I was never going to act on it.”

His face lights up but quickly turns to a frown. “Why? Especially after what Steve told you.”

“For a few reasons. I thought for one it would be crossing a line considering my past relationship with Steve. I didn’t want to cause a rift in your friendship. He’s cleared that up. But I don’t...no actually I can’t lose another friend. Losing Clint and then Steve really hurt, and I don’t want to lose you too. Because I am a fucking mess and it would just be a matter of time till I fucked things up. Why on earth would you want to be with me?” 

He lifts his flesh hand and cups your cheek as he looks at you seriously. “Because I am a fucking mess also, and you never once judged me for it. You’ve seen me at my worst and still didn’t hesitate to be my friend. I’ve been with you when you felt at your lowest, and love you even more for it. I don’t care what happened between you and Steve because this is about you and me. I think you were meant to find me in Bucharest, we found each other.”

You can feel your eyes begin to water. You lean into his touch and smile. "You love me?"

He smiles back at you. "I thought that was fairly obvious, but yes I love you. I'm in love with you (Y/N). You told me you loved me the other night, but you were drunk and I didn't think you meant it the way I was hoping."

You have a big mouth when you're drunk apparently. "I did, or do mean it. I love you too Bucky. I'm glad I'm the one that found you."

With his hand still on your cheek he slowly leans forward and presses his soft lips to yours. You slide your hands up his chest and around his neck. When he breaks the kiss he gently rests his forehead against yours. “I’m not ashamed to admit that I have wanted to do that since that day in Bucharest. The way you just sat there with me for hours talking, treating me like a regular person. You even made me laugh. I couldn’t remember the last time I genuinely laughed. That’s when I knew you were special.”

You press another soft kiss to his lips. “I always knew you were special. But I’m afraid I’ll mess things up between us.” You hear him chuckle which makes you scowl at him. “You worry far too much sometimes. Just promise me this, if something is wrong no running away. We sit down and we talk about it. Alright?”

You nod your head against his. “Okay, I promise.”

He smiles at you again and leans down to capture your lips for another kiss. This kiss is different from the first one, this kiss is more heated. Like the floodgates have finally opened now that everything's out in the open between the two of you. You spread your legs and wrap your arms around his middle pulling him closer to you. He moves his hand from your face and grabs your hip in an attempt to close any space between your bodies.

You can feel his arousal pressed against your core, making you crave more. “Bucky, I want you.” You gasp out against his lips. He breaks the kiss sounding short of breath. “You sure?” You smirk at him and jump off the counter, then grab ahold of his hand. Without a word you start pulling him behind you down the hallway to his bedroom. When you get to his door he pushes you up against it and pins you between his body at the door. His lips hover just above yours. “Tell me you’re sure babydoll.”

You slip and hand between your bodies and rub his length through his jeans. “I am without a doubt sure that I want you James.” He lets out a groan that turns into a growl as he crashes his lips into yours. He blindly fumbles around with the door while kissing you. When he finally gets it open you stumble almost falling backwards but with his quick reflexes he catches you. He lifts you up like you weigh nothing slamming the door behind him and carries you over to the bed. 

After dropping you onto the bed he crawls up the bed, caging you in with his body. You reach for his shirt but his body stiffens. So you stop and put both of your hands on his face. “I’ve seen you without a shirt before. You are sexy and perfect just the way you are. The prosthetic doesn’t bother me, you should know that by now.” He just stares into your eyes like he’s trying to read you. After a couple beats of silence he nods his head and pulls his shirt over his head. You run your hand up his abs to his chest. “See you’re perfect.”

He smiles at you and reaches for your top. He looks to you for permission first. You nod your head in silent approval. Once he pulls it off and tosses it to the floor he stares at your body, and runs his fingertips across your skin. “No you’re perfect.” He whispers to you. Then he kisses his way down your body removing the rest of your clothes followed by his. While you are admiring his gorgeous body he kisses his way back up yours. He moves from your thighs to your belly and then to your breast taking a nipple into his mouth and caresses the other with his flesh hand. You moan as you run your fingers through his dark locks and arch your back.

Eventually he releases your breast and moves his lips to your neck and jaw. You can’t wait any longer and reach between your bodies and line him up with your entrance. He kisses your lips like he wants to devour you and rests his forehead against yours when he breaks the kiss. “You ready babydoll?” He says, sounding breathless already. “Absolutely.” You whisper against his lips.

Finally he slowly pushes himself inside you. Your arms wrap around him with your hands resting on his upper back and shoulders. He stops when he’s fully sheathed inside you. You can feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest. He drops his forehead to your shoulder. “You feel so good babydoll.” You wrap your legs around his hips. “Please move baby.” You whisper to him. He obeys and slowly pulls almost all the way out and slowly pushes back in. He does that a couple times before he gradually picks up the pace.

You want more and start moving your hips to meet his thrusts. “Harder baby.” You moan. He leans upright just a little and grabs your thigh with his flesh hand to hold your legs open wider allowing him to go deeper. Then he gives you what you ask for and starts pounding harder into you making the headboard of the bed slam against the wall. There’s surely going to be dents in the wall.

You run your finger nails up and down his back and moan out his name. He leans back down and bares his weight on his metal arm as he buries his face in your neck. With his free hand he reaches between your bodies and rubs your clit. “Come for me babydoll.” His thrusts go deep and hard hitting the right spot. He feels your walls tighten and spasm around him. You practically scream out his name as you come, and your eyes roll back. Bucky’s thrusts start getting erratic and sloppy so you know he’s close. He calls out your name as he comes deep inside you.

The room is silent except for the sounds of your heavy breathing. Bucky unburies his face from your neck so he can kiss your lips. Then he slowly pulls out of you and lays down next to you on his back. You immediately put your head on his chest and he wraps an arm around you. “I love you so much (Y/N).” You kiss his chest and run your hand up and down his torso. “I love you too.”


	34. Bucky's Epilogue

Bucky’s Epilogue

Big strong arms wrap around your middle from behind followed by soft lips kissing along your neck. You tilt your head to the side giving him better access. You bite your lip and close your eyes as you lean in to him. Oh how easily this man can make you melt like butter.

The moment is ruined when you hear someone making gagging sounds. Bucky growls in annoyance against your neck. "Fuck off bird boy! Don't like it, don't watch."

"I wouldn't be watching if you weren't defiling the community kitchen and blocking the coffee pot. Get a room tin man!"

You roll your eyes. These two just never stop. You move and stand between the two of them putting your hands up. "Alright boys that's enough, unpuff your chests and put your dicks away. Save the pissing match for training."

Nat walks in and slaps Sam upside the head for you. "Yeah, what she said." Bucky looks at you with his sad puppy eyes he always brings out when he's in trouble with you. You try your best to scowl at him. "You know one day that adorable face may not work. Then what are you going to do?"

He smiles at you and wraps his arms around you again. "Kiss you till you can't be mad at me anymore." Just as he leans in to kiss you a powdered donut hits him in the side of the head. Leaving a white powdery residue on the side of his face and hair. He whips his head up glaring daggers at the culprit. "You're going to pay for that Wilson!"

"Oh yeah? Let's see your old ass keep up with me." Sam boasts smugly.

Bucky presses a quick kiss to your lips and takes off running after Sam who bolted out of the kitchen already. You lean back against the counter and sigh. "Fucking boys." You mutter under your breath. Nat leans against the counter next to you handing you a cup of coffee. "I'd like to say they'll grow out of it someday but we both know that would be a lie."

You laugh in agreement and go to take a drink of your coffee but a wave of nausea hits you. You drop the coffee mug on the floor and turn towards the sink as your breakfast returns with a vengeance. Steve who was just walking into the kitchen comes to your aid, holding your hair out of your face while rubbing a hand up and down your back. Nat starts picking up the glass since you are barefoot.

"Doll? You alright?" Steve asks, sounding concerned. "Not yet." You groan when you have a moment of reprieve. When Bucky finally returns he looks completely confused when he takes in the scene in front of him. Everything was fine five minutes ago. He makes his way over to you and trades places with his best friend. "Babydoll what’s wrong?" You just groan in response. Steve shrugs his shoulders, so does Nat.

Once you're done throwing up Bucky scoops you up in his arms and starts carrying you out of the kitchen. "Thank you Steve." You rasp out before you and Bucky exit the kitchen.

You and Bucky have been a couple for a little over two years now. He moved into your room after about 6 months. He was always in your room anyway so you decided to make it official. Things were a little rocky with Steve for a while. Seeing you and Bucky together as a couple was a little more difficult than he thought. You had the same issue when he started seeing Sharon. But you worked through it and you're in a good place now with your friendship.

Being with Bucky was probably the best decision you ever made. He makes you incredibly happy, and you do the same for him. You kind of pulled each other from your low points. You can't imagine ever being without him. He is the sweetest boyfriend you've ever had. It's really no wonder why all the ladies loved him when he was younger.

Bucky carries you to your bedroom and gently lays you on the bed. He hands you a bottle of water and runs his fingers through your hair. He gives you a worried look. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

"I'll be fine. I must have just came down with a stomach bug or something. I don't have a super soldier immune system like you and Steve. It's normal to get sick from time to time."

He nods his head, not seeing any reason to argue with you. Then he crawls in bed with you and wraps his arms around you. You get comfy and rest your head on his chest. "So what did you do to Sam?"

His chest starts shaking as he tries holding back his laughter. "Dumped a bucket of water on him and locked him in a supply closet." You can hear the smile in his voice. Even though you still don't feel well you can't help but laugh and he starts laughing with you.

"Oh you two are so ridiculous. You still have powdered sugar on your face by the way. I’d lick it off but now's obviously not a good time for that. Sorry handsome.” He lets out a fake sigh of disappointment and kisses your forehead. “Make it up to me later then I suppose. But seriously how do I get this shit out of my hair?”

You start laughing again and hug him a little tighter. “I love you Bucky.”

“I love you too (Y/N).”

After a few days go by and you still don’t feel well you finally figure out why and freak the fuck out. You sit on the bathroom floor staring blankly at the positive pregnancy test. You don’t know how to feel about it. And what really scares you is you don’t know how Bucky will feel about it. He didn’t even think he could have children after what Hydra did to him. You’re not sure if either of you are ready for something like this. Both of you still have your insecurities that let negative thoughts fester which leads bouts of depression you deal with from time to time. It’s gotten far better but what will adding a child to the mix do?”

Your first thought was to call Clint and freak out over the phone to him. But it would be wrong for you to tell Clint before Bucky. You’re not going to let history repeat itself and make the same mistakes. You and Clint finally started talking again about six months ago. Bucky didn’t care, he felt like you handled the situation well. Laura was okay with you and Clint reconnecting now that they are in a much better place in their marriage. But you both set boundaries this time. Mostly you just talk on the phone or video chat so you can see the kids also. Clint was happy for you when he found out you were with Bucky. He said you and Bucky made more sense than you and Steve.

Maybe you could talk to Nat. Girl talk would be okay, right? You and Bucky are supposed to go on a recon mission in a couple days. Obviously you shouldn’t be doing any field work. But you also don’t want to drop this bomb on him right before he goes out on a mission. He’ll lose focus and could get hurt. You’ll just tell him when he gets back and that will give you a few days to think. Now you need Nat to work her magic and help you find a way out of going on this mission.

After you compose yourself you go down to Bruce’s lab to find Natasha. Hopefully you don’t walk in on them….again. Not something you need to relive. Can’t they do their business where someone won’t walk in? When you get to the lab thankfully they are fully clothed this time. You grab Nat by the arm and start dragging her. “I need a word. Now. Oh, and hi Bruce….bye Bruce.” He just waves at you awkwardly with a confused look on his face.

“Alright, I’m coming. Simmer down.” She grumbles as she pulls her arm out of your hold. When you get her out in the hallway she takes in your panicked look and starts looking concerned herself. “Hun what’s wrong?”

You pace back and forth in front of her nervously as you open your mouth several times but no words come out. Saying it out loud makes it so much more real. She grabs hold of your shoulders to hold you still and raises an eyebrow at you. The look she gives that always makes you squirm, or anyone for that matter.

“YA beremenna i skhozhu s uma.”  
_(I’m pregnant and I’m freaking out.)_

Nat just stands there with her hands still on your shoulders staring at you blankly as she tries to take in what you’re saying.

“Vy yemu uzhe skazali?”  
_(Have you told him yet?)_

You sigh dramatically and lean your head back against the wall. “No, and we’re supposed to go out on a recon mission in two days. I obviously shouldn’t be going and I don’t want to tell him until after the mission. He needs to focus on the mission and not fret over me or what’s happening. Can you help me get out of going? Then I can have a couple days to process all of this.”

She pulls you to her and wraps her arms around you, hugging you. “Of course. I’ll take care of it alright? So calm down, everything will be okay.” You close your eyes and hug her back while trying not to cry. You hope everything will be okay.

Later that day Steve comes and tells you that he needs you to trade places with Nat. She’s going on the mission with Bucky and he needs you to help him go through some archived files since you know the system better than Nat. And considering you haven’t been feeling well it’s probably best for you to take it easy. You have to force yourself to contain your excitement. Once again that wonderful woman worked her magic for you.

You and Steve went ahead and got a jump start on going through the archives. Considering the era he’s originally from he’s not that bad when it comes to current technology but he still has some difficulties and is a lot slower on computers. “Hey Steve, how’s your German?”

Steve’s sitting at a table nearby looking through some paper files. He lifts his head when you call his name. “I’m a little rusty, but I can still get by. You have something?” You shrug your shoulders. “I haven’t the slightest. I have a whole file in German. I can put it through a translator but it would be quicker if you just glanced at it and tell me if I should move on or not.”

“No problem doll.” He gets up and moves so he’s standing behind you with his hands on the back of the chair leaning over your shoulder so you can show him what you need him to look over. As he’s pointing to some things on the screen while still leaning over you both of you hear someone clear their throat. You both turn your heads toward the sound and see Bucky standing in the doorway. He’s sporting his resting bitch face until you say something. “Hey handsome, what’s up?”

He gives you a small smile but when he looks at Steve he glares at him. “What’s this I hear you changed up my partner for the recon mission?” Oh, that’s why he’s grumpy. He likes when it’s just the two of you. But him and Nat get along just fine.

Steve finally stands up straight and turns his body toward Bucky. “I need (Y/N)’s help with the archives. She knows this system better than Natasha since she helped Tony with it. And since she wasn’t feeling well earlier this week I thought it would just be best to switch. Natasha’s fine with it.” Bucky didn’t ease up on the glaring until Steve brought up you not feeling well. Then his eyes finally softened as he looked at you. You could tell he wasn’t about to argue about that fact.

The next day you weaseled your way out of going to training. So while everyone is in the gym you lay down on the couch in the living room after throwing up your breakfast again. At least no one was around to witness it this time. Just as the nausea starts to subside and you doze off, Bucky and Sam come barreling into the room. They are as per usual fighting with each other, this time with tasers, like the ones Nat wears around her wrists on missions. As they are tasing each other one slams the other into the couch knocking you off of it. In their defense they didn’t know you were there, but since you’re not feeling well you don’t take it that way. “Seriously! What the fuck?! How about you two grow the fuck up and knock this shit off already!” Then you storm off to your bedroom as they stand there staring at you in confusion.

Not even five minutes later Bucky comes and finds you. You felt bad for yelling at them the moment you walked away. Normally you tease them about their childishness, but never actually get mad or snap at them about it. Bucky comes and lays behind you in bed, wrapping his arms around you. “I’m sorry babydoll. Did we hurt you?”

“No, I’m the one that should be apologizing. I’m sorry for overreacting. I had just dozed off, but you guys didn’t know I was there.”

He kisses your neck and cheek a couple times. “Maybe you should let Dr. Cho check you out when she gets here tomorrow. Or Bruce even.” You roll over in his arms and see his worried blue eyes looking back at you. You feel bad for hiding something from him. But it’s just for a few more days. You put your hand on his cheek and press a soft kiss to his lips. “I will see Helen if I’m still not feeling better. I think I just need some rest though. So you can stop worrying. And I really am sorry for snapping at you. Can you forgive me?” You stick out your bottom lip and bat your eyelashes at him.

His face breaks out in a smile. “One day that pouty lip of yours isn’t going to work, then what are you going to do?” You smile back at him. “Kiss you till you can’t be mad at me anymore.”

The day Bucky and Natasha return from their successful recon mission Tony already had a party planned. Tony has finally come to a truce with Bucky and put the past behind him. They aren’t friends exactly but they can at least be in the same room together now.

You don’t even know what the occasion is, he probably just wanted to throw a party. You decide to go ahead and dress up and have some fun even though you don’t typically like dressing up. Why not enjoy yourself especially since you have a bit more energy after sleeping almost an entire day.

The first person you spot when you get to the party is Clint. He’s there with Laura of course. But he comes running at you and throws his arms around you. “Hey darlin’. I’ve missed you so much.” You hug him back even tighter. “I missed you too.” Clint smiles and nods his head toward the dance floor. “How about a dance till your old man gets here?” You smack him on the arm and scowl at him. “That sounds so wrong. He’s not old you big jerk. And is Laura okay with us dancing?”

He chuckles at you and grabs hold of your hand. “She’s fine with it, I promise.” He pulls you out to the dance floor, and as he starts dancing with you he gives you a questioning look.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

He cocks his head to the side like he’s thinking. “There’s something different about you, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.” You try keeping a straight face because you really don’t want Clint to find out before Bucky. You love your best friend, but he’ll have to wait in line with everyone else to find out. When you don’t offer any information he frowns at you jokingly. “Really? You’re not going to tell me whatever it is you’re trying to hide? Have you forgotten how well I know you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You say sarcastically. He shakes his head at you with a smile. “Okay, I see how it is. I’ll figure it out myself.”

Bucky and Nat arrive late. Bucky sees you dancing with Clint which he expected and is fine with. He honestly didn’t even want to come to the party, he was just doing it for you. He smiles when he sees how beautiful you look all dressed up. He doesn’t get to see you in a dress very often. His smile disappears though when Steve cuts in and starts dancing with you, and turns into a very angry scowl. He’s glaring so intently he doesn’t notice Sam standing next to him.

“Why are you trying to burn holes through your best friend?”

Bucky slowly turns his head toward Sam and directs his glare toward him. “I’m not. Just waiting for the song to be over.” He says very unconvincingly. Sam decides to be nice for once. He claps Bucky on the shoulder. “You know they’re just friends right? Their past is ancient history. That girl for whatever reason sees something in you and is head over heels in love with you.”

Bucky turns his head back to you and a small smile tugs on the corner of his mouth. Sam claps him on the shoulder once more and walks away. Just as Bucky was putting his negative thoughts aside Steve leaned in a whispered something in your ear and your whole face lights up as you start laughing.

When you finally notice Bucky he looks furious and storms out of the party. You are completely confused. Maybe Sam pissed him off already? Or he was just uncomfortable being around this many people? You know he was just coming for you. “Steve, I need to go see what’s wrong with Bucky he just stormed out of here.” He turns and looks in the direction you’re looking, trying to find his friend. “Okay doll, let me know if he’s alright or not?”

"Yeah, of course."

You wonder what set Bucky off. He hasn't seen you for a couple days. You normally go running to each other when that happens. When you enter your shared room it's dark except for a dim lamp next to the door. Bucky's sitting on the couch with his face in his hands.

"Baby? What's going on? I saw you leave the party."

He slowly uncovers his face and leans back on the couch. His eyes are red and watery, he looks the saddest you've ever seen him. He sniffles and wipes his eyes. "Are you not happy with me anymore?" He whispers to you quietly.

Your heart sinks at those words. Oh what have you done? You knew you would do something eventually to mess things up. You walk over to him and climb into his lap putting both of your hands on his face. “Of course you make me happy. Why on earth would you think otherwise?”

He diverts his eyes away from yours. “Steve’s seemed a lot closer to you lately. He pulled you from our recon mission to stay behind with him instead. You’ve been acting strange and snapping at me. Is there something going on?”

“James please look at me. You don’t honestly believe that do you? Do you really think we would do that to you and Sharon?” He bites his lip nervously and finally raises his eyes to meet yours. The sadness in his eyes is breaking your heart. He silently answers you by shaking his head no. “Baby, Steve and I didn’t work. We are better as friends and it took us a long time to get our friendship back but I promise you that’s all we are, just friends. You and I do work. I love you so much. You’re the only one that I want.”

He finally moves his hands to your waist and his eyes brighten up a little. “You’re the only one I want (Y/N). But something’s going on with you, and you promised to tell me if something was wrong, no running.”

You lean forward and kiss him softly, then rest your forehead against his. “I’m not running. Yes I freaked out a little, but I had every intention of telling you tonight. I just wanted to wait until you got back from your mission safely.” You sit back up and grab his flesh hand sliding it over to your stomach. “I’m pregnant.”

He just stares at you blankly, like you’re speaking a foreign language and has no idea what you’re saying. You start to get nervous the longer the silence goes on. “Bucky? Say something?” His sadness disappears and his face breaks out in a bright smile as he wraps his arms around you flipping you onto your back on the couch. He starts playfully kissing you all over your face. “We’re having a baby! I’m going to be a father! I can’t believe it. I didn’t think it was possible.”

You can’t help but smile at his excitement and feel stupid for ever worrying. You wrap your arms around his neck running your fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry for making you doubt us. Can you forgive me?” His response is to kiss you thoroughly until you are in desperate need of air. When he breaks the kiss he smiles down at you. “Of course I forgive you. I just let the bad thoughts get the best of me, I know you love me. I understand you’re scared and worried. But are you happy?”

“I’m scared shitless, but I’m happy it’s with you. We’ll figure it out together.”

He climbs off you and digs around in his pocket. When he finds whatever he was looking for he kneels down on the floor in front of you. “I was going to do this differently, but we’ve always done things our own way anyway. And at least you know this isn’t because of the baby. Although I was raised to marry a girl before you knock her up.” He says with a shy smile as he holds his hand in front of you and slowly opens it revealing a beautiful vintage diamond ring. “(Y/N) will you be my best girl forever? Will you marry me?”

You excitedly throw yourself at him and end up knocking him over on the floor with you lying on top of him. You grab his face and crash your lips against his. When you break the kiss he’s smiling brightly at you. “I still need a yes or no dollface.”

“Yes, yes baby I’ll marry you.”

He slides the ring onto your finger and leans up kissing you softly. “We’re going to have our own little family now. I love you always (Y/N).”

“And I love you always Bucky.”


End file.
